How E. Gary Gygax changed my life.

Though there are several tributes already posted, I didn't feel like this should have been included. If this gets locked and deleted, so be it, but the way I am feeling now, I have to do this.


I heard this morning that EGG had died. I was in shock, it couldn't be, it was a mistake, a poorly timed joke and one that I didn't find funny. And then, I cried, a lot. I had the chance to talk to Gary in the Ram restaurant last August at GenCon, but didn't because I didn't want to disturb him. He was spending time with his wife and the Troll Lord Games folks celebrating his anniversary. I now regret that I didn't stop and tell him thank you for giving me my life. A small thing really but one that I feel I cannot stress that he indirectly held a hand in.

It was late in 1978 and I was anything but personable. I was introverted beyond reason and frankly hated most all human beings. This may not seem like much with the way modern society is, but in the pre-dawn years of the glorious 80s, backward self-image rarely reared its ugly head. I didn't have many friends and I didn't really like to talk to strangers. My cousin coaxed me over to his house one day after school and introduced me to this neat game called D&D. We only had 6-siders and only two of the books, but we muddled through and I fell in love with it.

I went out and got my first job in 1979, selling greeting cards in order to earn money to fund my habit. I had to face up to people, talk to them and sell them a product that most of them didn't want and could get cheaper. But I was on a mission. I spent afternoons after school, and most of the summer selling cards and gift wrap. and after a couple months had earned enough credit to turn points into cash. Lucky me, by 1980, the updated red-box basic rules came out (with the Easley artwork) and was available as a prize, so I used points for that too. Then I quit and became a full-time gamer. I had to interact with people, I would talk about my characters, I would shop in game stores, book stores and anywhere I thought sourcebooks, graph paper and such might be sold.

I became the prototypical nerd of the 80s, playing D&D, listening to Rush, reading Fantasy fiction and posting on computer bulletin Boards (the precursor to the Internet). I had no choice but to become an extrovert as I was pushed into the DMs chair. I wrote pages of material, studied history, philosophy and mythology in an attempt to emulate my hero - Gary Gygax.

Over the years D&D has led me to many great endeavors, to meet friends I will never forget, and to lead my family down the same path that I tread, the life of a roleplayer. My wife, son and daughter all play and is one of the common bonds that strengthen our family relationships. As many of you know, I am now quite animated and love to talk - to nearly anyone. I have had the great pleasure of meeting many of you in person and others only through this our electronic forum. Before he died Gary sent my son a congratulatory letter on his attaining Eagle Scout and asked him to seek him out at GenCon in order that he might sign it in person. Now that letter is forever blank and I anguish for my son as he doesn't yet know the news of Gary's passing.

Because of Gary's "crazy little hobby" I have found courage to speak my mind, stand up when I would have otherwise ran and to have been able to play music to thousands of people, all on the courage to go out and speak, inspired by a need to play a game. I cannot begin to thank Gary enough, because he truly did give me a life that I might otherwise not have had. A chance to be here and love and laugh with people I PROUDLY call friends and a chance to be a good father and husband. I can't prove that these events might not have otherwise happened, but deep in my heart of hearts, I know. Gary changed my life, and I will be forever and eternally grateful.
 
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Thanks for your testimony TF. Thousands, if not millions of us can confirm that the game, no matter how small or huge the way, has changed their lives for the better.

"Just a game"... indeed.

BP.
 

Good for you, man. That hit really close to home. Here's a hearty pat on the back from everyone who's walked a similar path. Thank you for sharing.
 


I know how you feel man. I had already been a gamer for a long time already, but in 93 I became very sick. Fighting to live for a year sick. My wife became my DM and we (just me and her) played D&D 2E, since I was bed ridden for that year. It helped me maintain my sanity, and keep my spirits high enough to keep on living.

So I know that, in part, the game Gary created kept me alive those many long months, and definitely helped me stay sane.

There are many other effects the game has had on my life, all positive. I met my wife, because of D&D, I share great times with my kids with D&D. There are many other effects it has had on my life.

So I share your loss. Gary had a tremendously positive effect on the world, and it is definitely noticeably darker without him.

I miss him terribly too. Farewell, my great friend that I never met in person.
 

this is much the same as my story to that shy kid who couldnt talk to people . the game gave me friends and a vorice and much of what i am is because of gary gygax and im not ashamed to say i cired its like i lost some one close to me and it hit hard . i thank you for posting theres so many ways this game has changed my life and saved my life for i know the path i was on . so i add my name to thouse for will forever be grateful to gary gygax .
 

A lot of different details, but a lot of the same gist. So yeah, I definitely know what you mean. I came from a kinda messed up background, stumbled upon D&D (Basic, first). . . and found that life was indeed a bit better for having done so. Haven't stopped roleplaying since then, or at least never for long.

I too was strongly introverted prior to that, and also grew less so thanks in part to RPGs, without a doubt. That, and some wonderful people along the way.

Yeah, if only I could've met Gary as well, and maybe thanked him, if I'd had the courage at the time.
 

D&D was one of those games that just... helped.

I was an army brat growing up, and I often played D&D with my dad (who was a huge D&D geek, as many military folks are). While I had a lot of friends as I moved, none of them were very close - I had a lot of birthday parties with just me and my parents.

But I always had those D&D books, which I read constantly. I remember reading through the monster manual (I liked Monster Manual 2 more, because the pictures were cooler, but I was always embarrassed about the pictures with "boobies") the multiple times we did the six+ hour drive from Toronto to Timmins.

When we moved to B.C., my first real "best friend" became my friend when I was at his house, and recognized his D&D books. From there, we actually started PLAYING (before that, I played in the solo dungeons Gary wrote with my dad).

That was a huge thing. Doesn't sound like much, but it helped take a shy kid out of his shell.

Many of my friends are my friends because we played D&D together first. D&D got me into reading fantasy novels (D&D came first in my life), which I love. D&D is why I have a love of writing (and my skill at writing was the source of much feedback from my teachers - loads of self esteem right there!)

D&D helped me stay abreast in math classes, despite sucking at higher math.

D&D got me into all those strange real-world mythologies, which led to my love of Archaeology - which lead to my love of Anthropology, which is now my major. In fact, it would not be a stretch to say that I never would have taken Anthropology were it not for the foundation D&D laid.

But, you know, those are all chain effects. Sort of "because X happened, Y happened later". What I'm really getting it is the fact that I am who I am because D&D existed. I don't know who I would be without it. It's scary to think how much the game has had an effect on my life.

And yet, it *is* just a game, as Gary mentioned himself a bazillion times, right? I think Gary was wrong there. This is already huge news, and people from many different walks of life are feeling it. I think, for some reason, the game has helped a lot of us come out of our shells, or turned us from loners and excluded introverts into something else. Gary, Arneson, Blume, and all those other early gamer folks deserve much more than anyone could ever give them.

I dunno. I'm not good at this. I suppose in the end, all I want to say is "thank you", even though it's been said a hundred times already. It's just a game, but I shudder to think what my life would be like had the game never existed.
 

In my years of working for TSR and WotC, one of the most common things I heard from players (and the parents of young players) was how they never liked to read until they started playing D&D, and now they read constantly.

Another was from people who were introverted or had few or no friends, but joined a D&D group and now have lifelong friends.

(I myself have a difficult time thinking of many friends in my own life that have not come from gaming or working on rpgs.)

And that can all be traced back to Gary. He didn't just create a game, he created something that fired imaginations, encouraged thinking and learning, and created real bonds between people. And not just for a handful of people. Millions. I can't think of a greater good one could accomplish with one's life.
 

Gary is the one that made it alright to want to be a hero. Good to want to take the sword to bad guys. I salute the man that made it all possible...
 

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