[humor] The Top Ten Things you don't want a new player to say at the first game...

[Darkness]

"This? Oh, this is my plush Meowth, I bring him everywhere."

I wouldn't mind having a player like that.

 

[hong]

I know THAT feeling... I play in three different campaigns, and there is a Hong in two of them - one as a player, the other as a DM. OTOH I'm sure these Hongs would write: "Hi, my name is Mike..."

You know, try as I might, I've never been able to top the time when you mooned those terrors of the void.


Hong "AND BOY, DO I TRY" Ooi

 

[Harlock]

I wouldn't mind having a player like that.

But Darkness, the Meowth knows sign language and damns everyone to hell!!! He asks you to drive him to the sun... and sometimes he wears Hawaiian shirts and carries a bottle. Meowth is the scariest member of our gaming group. I wonder how many people don't understand that all of this is true. I haven't heard too many DM lines, let's try it out.

New DM: "Okay, for our first session Elminster and Drizzt find the party all sitting in a tavern..."

New DM: "Your first adventure is entitled, 'Attack of the Hentai Tentacle Monsters.' Everyone make a will save."

New DM: "I try and actually use every setting book I buy so welcome to my Steam-Cyber-Gritty-High-Magic-GunSaber-Discworld-Deadlands-Forgotten-Greyhawk-Modern d20 game."

 

[reiella]

Almost as disturbing as the player who wants their character to worship Meowth .

 

[Harlock]

Well, anyone with the power to constantly damn everyone to hell is obviously the most powerful god in the pantheon.

 

[Kesh]

Any sentence involving the word "yiffy."

Furries are people too, ya know!

Though honestly, if they're using that word in public situations... yeah, maybe you've got a point.

 

[Tyler Do'Urden]

"Okay, so I found this cool little adventure on Monte Cook's site... it involves an Orc and a Pie... wait... where are you guys going?..."

 

[Gundark]

have to get in on this one

"Ok I am just here cause I kinda bored. Normally I only play RIFTS"

That is too funny rifts suks....Here is one that I heard

"This game sucks you can't blow things up like in Rifts"

"I rolled this character up at home...no the stats aren't to bad only two 18s"

"DM: Ok the NPC that I am playing killed the (insert monster) for you.

Players : What!! again?"

"Hey I found this Race/class/prestige class/magic item/etc on the net that I would like to play"

"Ok I'm a monty haul kind of DM"...personal quirk I hate monty haul campaigns

I also hate it when I hear people planning out their min-maxed character.

 

[Balgus]

Any sort of weird, loud, obnoxious battle-cry.

that would just be an awesome sight.

player: i have neverplayed before so mind if I just take it slow for a while?
others: sure/ ok
DM: you see a band of orcs
player: DEATH FROM ABOVE... KRALALALALALALAALALALA!!!!!!

 

[Templetroll]

do you think we can really sumon a demon to your living room?
My response, No, I think it would piss my mom off.
I mean, how do you explain a demon to your mom?

A guy I had gamed with for over two years brought a fellow he had known for more than a year from a wargaming group. I ran an adventure with three PCs and one NPC. It centered around foiling a wizard with a quasit familiar. Adventure went well, then as we were chatting near the door....

NewGuy: "I liked how you had a demon summoned. I once summoned a demon like that and it was really tough to control."

The guy who brought him: "Oh, I didn't know you had played before."

NewGuy: "It wasn't in a game. Made a mess of my apartment."

Glances all around, shuffle them out the door. The Guy who brought him called later to apologize and we never saw that NewGuy again.