[humor] The Top Ten Things you don't want a new player to say at the first game...

[The Blue Elf]

Hey, I thought the line "we are going to die" is going to be on the list.

 

[nsruf]

Hey, I thought the line "we are going to die" is going to be on the list.

Nah, that just shows the newcomer is already properly motivated. Nothing wrong with this attitude...

 

[der_kluge]

Actually said at some games I've played/ran:

"My elf likes to squish guts! Let's go and squish some guts!"

"If no one starts laughing at my jokes, I'm just going to leave".

"Do you have any monks?" (asking about pregens)
-no
"That's too bad. Monks rule!"
*sigh*


My favorite was this guy at a Con game that took *way* too literally a brief character history I had written up for his wizard. Essentially, the bio indicated that he had found himself naked in the forest, didn't know how he'd gotten there, and could speak abyssal and infernal fluently. It also indicated that he'd found his way to town, and equipped himself with meager positions by doing odd jobs.
But, the player must have thought he showed up in the forest naked *yesterday* because throughout the entire game he wandered around aimlessly as if it was all brand new to his character, even while the party was being attacked (on more than one occasion).

Well, I guess there wasn't any specific quote by the guy, other than, at the end of the game he said, "this is the coolest background history I've ever seen. Do you mind if I keep this character sheet?"

 

[MerakSpielman]

"hey, I'm the new guy, nice to meet you all! This is Sherry, my girlfriend. She wants to play so I told her SURE COME ALONG!"

If that's not bad enough - add in quietly to the DM - "Dood - make sure her character doesn't get hurt or anything - and give her some magic stuff. If she doesn't have fun she says she'll break up with me."

 

[Bloodsparrow]

"Why are you talking like that?"

 

[MerakSpielman]

"No wonder I've been sucking all night! That's a d-twelve. Can I borrow somebody's d20 just for tonight?"

 

[Negative Zero]

Hey, I thought the line "we are going to die" is going to be on the list.

nah, that one's ok. it's when you hear (in a high pitched voice)
"weesa gonna die?"
that you should get worried!

~NegZ

 

[S'mon]

"No wonder I've been sucking all night! That's a d-twelve. Can I borrow somebody's d20 just for tonight?"

We've all been there...

 

[MarauderX]

I haven't heard any in a while, but let me bring these quotes from my deepest, darkest nightmares:

"Is there a class for a ninja with spells?" -- here we go... a powergamer in his infancy.

"Should I bring my swords in from my car now?"

"Could we play my PC diceless? The dice are really stressing me out"

"How long does a game last, cause I have to go to work in an hour"

"You aren't recording this, are you? Like on a videocamera or something?"

"There are characters that worship other religions? No wonder this game is so, well, evil. But I'm bored with life, why not."

 

[Macbeth]

All my new players play elves. Every one of them. My campaign just got flooded by 4 new elves. Every new player opens up the conversation by saying: "I want to play an elf, but can I get by without the Con penalty?"