I don't normally feat myself in public, but...

[kreynolds]

Heh. I get to feat myself. For those of you that don't know what it means to feat someone, stick around. You'll find out. For those you that know and wonder why I'm feating myself, here's why. For those of you that truly want to know what it means to feat someone, you can find evidence of it, mostly in the rules forum, from way back.

Basically, this is how it's gonna work. I have to write up my own feats (and so far, I'm the best at this, so don't bother submitting your own, and yes, I have a feat for that too ), but I can't pick the final feat myself. Someone else has to do it. So, I figure I'll slap 'em all up here, then we'll have a poll so that the majority can select the one I'm stuck with. The winning feat will be entered into my sig (which incidentally has a link to source of all of this).

Heck, this is the first time in a long time that I've gotten to feat anybody! This oughta be fun...

Hope you enjoy the show!

 

[kreynolds]

Dig That Hole [General]
Just when you think you can’t screw up any worse…
   Benefit: You have an uncanny knack for making a total schmuck out of yourself. You can be seemingly lucid, logical, and intelligent one minute, then fall into a blubbering heap the next as you stumble over your own asinine remarks about how you think a rule works. You’re even shameless enough to try to edit your stupid post before anyone notices. However, because you suck, you’re not fast enough, and everyone now knows just how big of a loser you truly are. Dig and climb on in.
   Normal: Without this feat, you’re just an average idiot at times, digging an average hole.
   Special: This feat makes you an exceptional idiot.

Don’t Speak [General]
The world’s bad enough as it is without your input.
   Benefit: Plants die, animals flee in terror, babies cry, and Canada takes over the U.S when you open your mouth. Don’t.
   Normal: There’s nothing normal about you, with or without this feat. People simply aren’t this stupid…except for you.
   Special: And you thought the duck-billed platypus was a mistake? Not in comparison, I assure you.

I Said What? [General]
Doh!
   Benefit: Merely opening your mouth runs the risk of you blathering out something stupid.
   Normal: This _is_ normal for you.
   Special: Something you’re not.

Soil That Reputation Of Yours Even Further [General]
It’s bad enough that you’re such a punk, but you actually make it worse…simply by breathing.
   Benefit: Though you have fought long an hard to rid yourself of the reputation that you’re an infantile jerk by being knowledgeable and fair in regards to the rules, you actually manage to screw your reputation even that much more by _not_ being knowledgeable and fair in regards to the rules.
   Normal: You were better off without this feat, for obvious reasons.
   Special: Only a chump would take this feat.

 

[MeepoTheMighty]

Dig That Hole [General]
Just when you think you can’t screw up any worse…
Benefit: You have an uncanny knack for making a total schmuck out of yourself. You can be seemingly lucid, logical, and intelligent one minute, then fall into a blubbering heap the next as you stumble over your own asinine remarks about how you think a rule works. You’re even shameless enough to try to edit your stupid post before anyone notices. However, because you suck, you’re not fast enough, and everyone now knows just how big of a loser you truly are. Dig and climb on in.
Normal: Without this feat, you’re just an average idiot at times, digging an average hole.
Special: This feat makes you an exceptional idiot.

Heh..some of the players in my group obviously took this one. They were having one of those classic "dinner & conversation with the BBEG" moments, and every word out of their mouths just dug them in deeper and deeper and deeper...

My character wasn't present for the conversation, but I just sat on the sidelines making shoveling motions every time something stupid was said

 

[Bozidar]

LOL!!!!

 

[Henry]

I oughta move this to House Rules, just for the heck of it.

But naah - this needs to be shared!

 

[Darklone]

I oughta move this to House Rules, just for the heck of it.

But naah - this needs to be shared!

Yeah krey, way to go.

 

[Rel]

I too place my vote for "Dig That Hole".

And kreynolds, I did want to note that even when you were "bad", I thought you were funny (this from someone who took a brutal feating by you on one occasion). The fact that you are doing this shows that you are a good sport and the Rules Forum just wouldn't be the same without you.

 

[Ran]

Man I gotta say that I am thankful to have my mind back before I post some insanely absurd answers that have been even written, but never posted...

Anyway I must say that you deserve a very good feating so i choose this one, if no other is suggested, that is!

Dig That Hole [General]
Just when you think you can’t screw up any worse…
   Benefit: You have an uncanny knack for making a total schmuck out of yourself. You can be seemingly lucid, logical, and intelligent one minute, then fall into a blubbering heap the next as you stumble over your own asinine remarks about how you think a rule works. You’re even shameless enough to try to edit your stupid post before anyone notices. However, because you suck, you’re not fast enough, and everyone now knows just how big of a loser you truly are. Dig and climb on in.
   Normal: Without this feat, you’re just an average idiot at times, digging an average hole.
   Special: This feat makes you an exceptional idiot.

 

[MulhorandSage]

Great. More underpowered feats that no PC in his right mind would take.

Scott Bennie

 

[Ridley's Cohort]

Great. More underpowered feats that no PC in his right mind would take.

They work great for rounding out NPCs.