Tatsukun said:
I've had one group dissolve (somewhat because of my bad DMing) and been forced to leave a group.
The first was when I took over for our long time DM, who needed a break. This guy (Graf) was the best DM I have ever played with, and he is the kind of guy who knew everything about the world he ran. He had layer upon layer of story that we never found out about.
Well, when I became DM, he was a player and he wanted to know everything about my game. The problem was I didn't know, and I felt like he was 'stealing my DM thunder' by generally showing everyone what a crap DM I was.
I slowly improved my knowledge of rules / dming, and then gave it up to join another group as a player. The thing is, I did exactly the same thing to the new DM (John) as Graf did to me.
Gotta love the circle of life!
So remember everyone, don't try to be co-DM unless the DM actually wants you to !
-Tatsu
Tatsu brings up a good point, though one only tangentially related to the conversation.
1. Make sure its clear to everyone what’s going on
Tatsu and I were never co-DMs, for example.
He said he thought I was a good DM and asked for advice; I played in the game for a bit and then left.
2. Avoid playing with people who’s psychological problems made the game unfun for others. If you're this person you don't have to get over yourself but you'll find your gaming options limited.
/hijack
Tatsu,
(somewhat ironically I was forced to remove you from my ignore list to respond)
Your issues make you a very difficult person to play with. Initially, because outside of DnD you’re a bright, relatively well adapted person, I thought it might just some sort of residual issue from HS you’d get over. Time, and the outcomes of several campaigns with a multitude of different people, suggest that you’re not ready to move on to that stage of your (gaming) life.
Since you’ve posted in a public forum (on a completely unrelated thread) I’ll take this as another “cry for help”.
As a player you were abrasive, obnoxious and didn’t roleplay. Every game you participated in your goal was to “win” by verbally badgering and belittling people (to your credit this was directed more at NPCs, or “lower level losers”). You cheated, both by ignoring or trying to obfuscate rules that didn’t suit you at the point in time as well as using a number of techniques to “artificially enhance” your die roles.
You never admitted it when caught, there was always some excuse.
I had great faith in your general mental abilities and in the fact that while you think it’s cool to be a jerk, you –aren’t- actually a jerk. I remain confident there is a good guy inside of you. He just doesn’t get let out very much.
I encouraged you to be a DM because 1) I was sick of having to deal with you as a player 2) I thought that you’d realize that giving free reign to your mental issues on other people’s time made for an unpleasant Sunday afternoon.
After it appeared obvious that this wasn’t the case and you were fixating upon living out your issues I (quietly) made up some excuse and left. Your game puttered on for quite some time (at least several months) without me. I am aware it collapsed after a string of encounters which involved over-CR creatures and you insulting mocking people for not being able to beat them.
What this has to do with me and some sort of “co-DMing” relationship you felt like we had I’m not sure.
I’ve only met the other person you referred to in person once, but frankly, playing DnD with you is very hard; if it didn’t work out then you’ve only yourself to blame.
Until you can accept:
that characters are not just stats on a page, at least try to have personality or motivation. It’s a story not NWN.
that alignments like good and evil don’t mean “stupid people” and “cool people”
that all paladins should not be a proxy for stupid-religious-types-you-don’t-like with the same personality and the same “I’m stupid” voice
the rules. They’re a big part of the game; they should apply to everybody.
A good hint: Strive to be honest both with yourself about what you’re doing and with others. You’re reasonably good about this outside of the game there is no reason why you can’t play DnD the same way.
So the only weeks I don't game is when we have an emergency, or when there's a big holiday coming up (like this weekend, and Christmas Weekend).
