IRON DM 2022 The Tournament Thread

Wicht

Hero
Round 1, Match 4
Gradine vs. Snarf Zagyg

@Gradine and @Snarf Zagyg, you have 24 hours to post your entries to this thread. Please limit your entry to a title, a list of the ingredients used and 750 additional words. Remember that if you include descriptions of your ingredients with the ingredients list, those descriptions will count against your word-limit! Entries that exceed their word-limits will be considered to end once they reach that limit; everything after will be ignored.

The judges will be using Wordcounter.net to ensure that our counts are consistent.

Please include your list of ingredients at the beginning of the entry and please do not edit your post once it is submitted. Please refrain from reading your opponent's entry until after you have posted your own. You are on your honor to do so.

Your ingredients are:
Cultured Beast
Hidden Jungle
Bewildered Gambler
Last Soiree
Glass Sword
Fast-acting Yeast

Your 24 hours starts now!
 

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Snarf Zagyg

Notorious Liquefactionist
Supporter
The Great British Snake Off (A Cthulhu Dark Adventure)

Ingredients
Cultured Beast
Hidden Jungle
Bewildered Gambler
Last Soiree
Glass Sword
Fast-acting Yeast

Teaser
The scion of the Fleischmann Empire paid to have GBBO filmed in Suriname. PCs are interns with Channel4.

Paul Hollywood has gambling debts. Armie Fleischmann has agreed to bail him out provided Paul recommended that GBBO film the series in a specific part of Suriname, on a specific date, to promote Fleischmann’s fact-acting yeast. But this isn’t about yeast or soggy bottoms; it’s about unspeakable terror.


Plot
GBBO is being sponsored by Fleischmann’s Fast-Acting Yeast in the deep jungle of Suriname! To meet the sponsor’s demands, every day of shooting eliminates three contestants- one each in the morning, afternoon, and evening; with Fleischmann’s, your baking is fast.

After three days of filming, there is a one-day break, and on the fifth day the remaining three bakers present their dishes. The winner gets the glass sword- a giant, ceremonial crystal cake cutter.

But the eliminated contestants are actually driven to a temple where they are sacrificed, using the glass sword, to Yog-Sothoth and then eaten. The goal is to summon the Yugg-urts on the night of the Last Soiree.


Locations
The tent and the surrounding area have been cleared out of the jungle. Generators provide electricity. This location is not known or marked on any map. There are sparse sleeping quarters to last one week.

Pokigron is a small village that Armie uses as a staging area. Locals live here, and it is 10 miles away- with no roads. No authorized rides to Pokigron will be provided.

The temple lies two miles away. If the PCs find it, they will discover ancient carvings depicting the summoning ritual and a blood-stained altar. The remains of cannibalized bodies will be strewn around the altar.


Characters
Hollywood
Paul is clueless about the sacrifices, and doesn’t like Armie or the nickname he’s been given. Paul is embarrassed about his gambling, but unable to stop and will play any game of chance offered. If befriended or drunk, Paul reveals that Armie demanded specific dates and this location.

Leith
Prue does not want to be in Suriname, and will divulge Paul’s gambling habit. Prue mistakenly believes that GBBO is shooting in Suriname because of Noel Fielding’s “weird goth stuff.”

Fleischmann
Armie is handsome and friendly, but also a dominating bully. He has demeaning nicknames for everyone; Paul is called “Kenny Rogers.” Armie will not reveal any details of his plan, but will be unable to hide his love of macabre subjects, such as cannibalism, if significant time is spent with him.

Locals
The hired locals do not speak English, will appear to be surly and menacing, and will walk back to Pokigron before nightfall. If they are befriended or approached in their native Dutch creole language, it will be discovered that they are terrified of this area. At least one will know the location of the temple. They will acknowledge not having seen the contestants that have lost.

Contestants & Crew
All of the contestants are “happy to be here,” and have no knowledge of the plot. Use standard GBBO tropes. None of the crew has any knowledge of the plot, but may divulge details such as car pickup times and the planning of the last soiree.

Fleischmann’s Team
Armies’s team is the security and transportation for the crew. There are three SUVs, three drivers, and five security. All are armed, unfriendly, loyal to Armie, and are part of the Yog-Sothoth cult.


The Last Soiree

The final competition is yogurt cakes. During the day, SUVs will be going to Pokigron and bringing back the contestants’ families. When the yogurt cakes are brought out, Armie with smile and pronounce

Y'AI'NG'NGAH,
YOG-SOTHOTH
H'EE-L'GEB
F'AI THRODOG
UAAAH


before cutting into the yogurt cakes with the blood-stained glass sword. The cakes will transform into monstrous unearthly white snakes, the dreaded Yugg-urts that will devour all the onlookers.


Running
Play up the constant tension between the oblivious contestants and crew and the strangeness of the setting and the apparent surliness of the locals. Contestants will refuse to help the PCs- they are “in it to win it.” Nighttime should be terrifying as they are in the middle of a jungle. Armie’s staff should be unfriendly, but their job is to protect everyone until the time comes for the Yugg-urts to feed. Armie’s plan will be foiled if he doesn’t sacrifice three people each day leading up the last soiree, or he doesn’t use the glass sword with the blood of nine people on the yogurt cakes.
 

Gradine

The Elephant in the Room (she/her)
The Sourdough Finisher
A Low-Level Adventure


Cultured Beast
Hidden Jungle
Bewildered Gambler
Last Soiree
Glass Sword
Fast-acting Yeast

Hook
The local baker, Jacqeyz, has gone missing. Their assistant noted their absence from their bakery that morning, and they were not home either. She tracks down a group of helpful adventurers to investigate.

Zuggtmoy, the Demon Lady of Rot and Decay, has a hand in these proceedings. She and Pavel Avalon, master baker, have made an important wager, one the demon lady has no intention of losing. Jacqeyz’s assistant has been corrupted and controlled by Zuggtmoy, and seeks out an adventurous party of spanners to throw into Pavel’s intricate works.

The adventurers find the baker’s home to be fairly neat. He has a set of luggage that appears only half packed. There is no sign of forced entry, only a single letter on the floor, the invite to an event Jacqeyz had been looking forward to for months: the retirement soiree of Pavel Avalon. However, as soon as the adventurers read this letter, they find themselves whisked away to a faraway location.

Hollywoodland Manor
The adventurers, Jacqeyz, and anyone who reads one of Pavel’s invites is immediately teleported to Hollywoodland Manor, Pavel’s reclusive mansion on the other side of the world. The sun is setting, and the guests are settling in to what they realize is the famously eccentric baker’s retirement soiree. Pastries, cakes, and breads, savory and sweet, line endless tables throughout the halls and banquet rooms. Pavel himself is nowhere to be found. The adventurers have about an hour to investigate before the “festivities” begin.

An Illusion Shattered
It starts with a scream. A large Dundee cake, having sprouted legs and a mouth, has torn into the flesh of a nearby partygoer. Winged cupcakes assault all assembled. The centerpiece, Pavel’s famous cottage loaf, has risen to gargantuan proportions, and begins to chase down guests. The illusion maintaining the well kept manor begins to fade, revealing the hidden reality: a rotted and overgrown chateau, long-since overtaken by the damp jungle outside.

Wood and cloth have rotted and metals have rusted to the point of uselessness, including any equipment brought in by the adventurers.

The Wager
Pavel, old but longing for immortality, has struck a bargain with Zuggtmoy in exchange for a fungal lichdom. Pavel bet that he could murder one hundred bakers with bread and pastries, and without using poison. His plan: to utilize a fast-acting yeast, enhanced by the heat and humidity of the enchanted jungle (a region deeply connected to Zuggtmoy’s supernatural rot) and his own dark magics. These living microbial cultures would then quickly gain full sentience. When baked into cakes and rolls and breads of all kinds, this would create living, horrifying “yeast beasts”, which would then descend upon his hapless guests.

Zuggtmoy is actually shocked at the ingenuity of the master baker’s plan. She had not expected him to be so clever. She does realize, however, how to use Pavel’s own hubris against him to throw the bet further in her own favor. Pavel, ever the pretentious baker, routinely brags about his very rare, very expensive, set of volcanic glass cutlery (“Obsidian holds a much finer, sharper edge than steel, you know!”). He is so well known for hawking his obsidian cutlery that many of the guests at the party will joke about it in the time leading up to the yeast beast attack. Pavel, knowing his yeast beasts’ weakness to edged weaponry, has counted on the powerful magics of the jungle to eat away at any knives, swords, or other bladed instruments that might make short work of his creations.

After the yeast beasts attack, a large volcanic glass carving knife (treat as an obsidian short sword) appears on the centerpiece table. A bow of mycelial thread is wrapped around the hilt like a present. A note is attached to it, saying simply “-Z”.

Resolution
The adventurers must use the obsidian cutlery to fend off attacking yeast beasts, including the massive cottage loaf, and save as many guests as they can. A bewildered Pavel, watching from a hidden location, attempts to intervene personally. While he is an experienced mage and somewhat dangerous, his magics are ultimately better suited for the bakery than the battlefield.

The immediate threat ended, a new threat rises: the adventurers and party guests are far from civilization, and the trek will not be an easy one, especially should the party decide to spare or capture Pavel. More yeast beasts, adapting the forms of jungle predators to survive, lurk along their path.
 


Gradine

The Elephant in the Room (she/her)
The fact that we both decided to use Paul Hollywood as the instigator here is hilarious, and to be honest I had a feeling that we were both going to lean into the GBBO in some manner or another. I can't wait for the judgment!
 

Wicht

Hero
I have read both entries. I probably won't have a judgment until tomorrow.
Without giving any other thoughts away, I find it more than a little interesting that somehow Hollywood made it into both entries.
 

Snarf Zagyg

Notorious Liquefactionist
Supporter
I have read both entries. I probably won't have a judgment until tomorrow.
Without giving any other thoughts away, I find it more than a little interesting that somehow Hollywood made it into both entries.

No matter who wins or loses, both @Gradine and I get ...

giphy.gif


A HOLLYWOOD HANDSHAKE.
 


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