I've "met" the perfect woman (for me).
- Thread starter BrooklynKnight
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Angcuru
First Post
Well, when I said let the woman win the argument, it should probably have been stated that these people I moderate between are all teens, so there are some BIG differences from real, mature men and women. 
Djeta's advice is spot on. Most seems like common sense to me, but then again, not many people possess common sense in this day and age.
So if that's the case, would it still be classified as common sense, or rather superior/uncommon sense. :\ *brain hurt*
Djeta's advice is spot on. Most seems like common sense to me, but then again, not many people possess common sense in this day and age.
So if that's the case, would it still be classified as common sense, or rather superior/uncommon sense. :\ *brain hurt*
Henry
Autoexreginated
Angcuru said:Djeta's advice is spot on. Most seems like common sense to me, but then again, not many people possess common sense in this day and age.
Actually, it's part of the old "she's not a person, she's a puzzle" philosophy that still survives to this day. Now, I know that many women look at things differently, or with different priorities than men, and it causes much friction, but as long as men and women remember that they are PEOPLE, it comes much easier. We've got the same kinds of doubts and fears, we have the same agendas - but women and men have doubts on different priorities, and our agendas sync up at different times due to differences in emotional maturities.
More than once I've had to stop and look at HOW my wife is saying something, as much as WHAT she's saying. It makes LANDSCAPES of difference in disagreements.
Oh, well, that's enough of my useless advice.
FINAL THOUGHT: Good Luck, Arthur. Remember: Enjoy each other's presence first - there's time enough to iron out specifics.
LightPhoenix
First Post
I think the biggest piece of advice is not to think of a relationship as "we", but as "you and me".
The former is the decidedly high school way of looking at a relationship - that is, the idea that instead of being individuals, you're a couple, and have to do everything together, and be all lovey, and such. It's a very dangerous way of looking at a relationship too, because it often leads to feelings of resentment about people being too needy and not having space.
The latter acknowledges what love really is (or should be) - two people together. You have to remember that as much as you love each other and connect, you're two seperate people with seperate needs and desires and thoughts. You'll be much happier in the long run approaching it that way.
Otherwise, listen to Djeta, she's smart.
The former is the decidedly high school way of looking at a relationship - that is, the idea that instead of being individuals, you're a couple, and have to do everything together, and be all lovey, and such. It's a very dangerous way of looking at a relationship too, because it often leads to feelings of resentment about people being too needy and not having space.
The latter acknowledges what love really is (or should be) - two people together. You have to remember that as much as you love each other and connect, you're two seperate people with seperate needs and desires and thoughts. You'll be much happier in the long run approaching it that way.
Otherwise, listen to Djeta, she's smart.
RangerWickett
Legend
LightPhoenix said:Otherwise, listen to Djeta, she's smart.
And, judging by her avatar, rather cute. *grin*
I think I do whine a bit too much, but I try to only do it when the situation is amusingly bad. Like how for six months, people have been stealing slices of my lunchmeat out of the communal fridge, despite repeated attempts to put signs up that request they stop. Or how my work schedule and class schedule means that this entire semester I've had to wake up at noon on Monday, 9am on Tuesday, 8am on Wednesday, 9am on Thursday, and noon on Friday, so when classes ended, I found myself sleeping 'til 6pm and not knowing what day I was in. Or how people accuse me of objectifying women just because I once wrote a parody of the 12 Days of Christmas that gave magic item powers to one of my friend's breasts.
Okay, so that last one I don't normally tell to people because I feel pretty silly about it, but it's amazing the kind of innuendo you can get with a random treasure table.
*sigh*
I should learn to keep my mouth shut, and my fingers away from the keyboard.
LightPhoenix
First Post
The first I would just bring in some bad meat and see who's not in the next day...RangerWickett said:
Really, signs don't work, because they're too easy to ignore. If you happen to know any of the people that are taking it, you need to talk to them face to face. It doesn't have to be overly confrontational, and whatever you do don't throw any office chairs. Just explain that you've paid for it for six months, and don't appreciate people taking it. If it's going to communal meat (oh, the dirty innuendo ) then everyone should pitch in a little. Either that, or stop bringing in meat.I have no sympathy for your schedule, since in college almost every semester I had at at least three days where I had to be up for an 8:30 or 9:40 class, usually one of my chemistry ones. Which leads into a funny story I'll tell another time, but it involves making my biophysical chem teacher look like an idiot...
And bleh on the objectifying women. Whoever said that needs to be, in my opinion, shot. Have we as a society reached a point where you can't make fun of anyone except for caucasian christian heterosexual males without someone getting offended? There are people that definitely objectify, and then there's the other percentage of us who make one joke and get yelled at.
Djeta Thernadier
First Post
LightPhoenix said:
Most of us know the difference between a generally respectful person making an off color joke once in a while and someone who truly thinks that women are toys to be played with and objectified.
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