Joking and Teasing: How far is too far?

[Shadowslayer]

Yikes...you even had to come to the boards to see if this is acceptable?

Look, my old group, we literally had an ongoing competition as far as ripping on each other. (we had a paintball team too...and we even bacame known among the other teams for the way we ripped on each other.)

Choice of hairstyle, check. Choice of dress, check. Forgetfulness, check. A tippler, check. Penchant for getting lost on the field, check (that was me) But never anything like picking on someone because of a speech impediment. That's just awful.

Meant no offense...sheesh. Just the fact that the new guy got upset, left, and they still didn't feel in any way apologetic tells me they're just a bunch of socially challenged jerks. The unfortunate phenomenon here is that socially challenged jerks sometimes take pride in it. And when thats the case, you can't win.

I'd personally just leave...even if it wasn't me they were ranking out.

A man is judged by the company he keeps...and all that.

 

[Chimera]

I have no problems with ribbing between players. Insults are another matter entirely.

If anyone lets it be known that they object, then I'm happy to accomodate them, within reason. If I think they're over-sensitive (like for example, they can't deal with being ribbed over having a bad night of dice rolling - happens to everyone), then I'm likely to talk it over with them outside the game. Although that has never happened.

I have no problem being an (expletive) as GM or Player when it comes to letting people know they've crossed the line.

Some people get off on constant insults and belittling of one another. I have no patience for it and don't care to be around such people.

 

[bento]

Way, way back in the past when I was a mere teen, I was the butt of many jokes in the group of "friends" I rpged with. We all did it, but some in the group seemed to be a little more vindictive with me than the others. Maybe its my Peter Parker puny-ness, or my gulibility in believing in the best of people, but I was an easy target.

In a short time the teasing spilled over into school hours, and then other students who I didn't know as well started calling me the same things. Before you know it I was the omega monkey of 9th grade. I took crap from everyone, and everything I seemed to do dug me in worse.

Finally I realized - no matter that you like the game or if you think the people are cool, if the people you game with are too busy knocking you down, its time to find new friends. I left the group and found a new group of friends. By the time the next year rolled around I was just another kid, but a happy one hanging out with new friends. And some of them played RPGs, so I didn't miss much.

I tell my oldest daughter this - kids aren't friends if they're too busy thinking of the next insult or joke at your expense. Walk away and have confidence that you'll find new friends who care about your feelings.

Shadow - I think you should apologize to this person.

 

[Nightchilde-2]

It has gone too far when the target says it has gone too far. The group described was in the wrong and should have stopped.

When the target asks for it to stop - it needs to stop. If it doesn't stop at that point it crosses the line from 'good-natured' to 'mean-spirited'. No exceptions.

Quoted for truth.

That said, we in my group have a harsh sense of humor, we bust each others..uh...dice bags on a constant basis.

We make sure to warn people ahead of time "expect almost no limits. If you have a limit, state it. If we cross lines, tell us and we'll quit."

Well..usually.

 

[pogre]

I have a good personal friend who loves to tease and insult others. If they show offense, it's like blood in the water. He's simply brutal and always has been. I stopped role-playing with him years ago - I just would not bring that kind of abuse on others. But generally, I find the guy hilarious.

I think you can be friends with these guys, but you may not want them in your next gaming group.