Lines I'd like to see Morrus put into his Gencon report

[trentonjoe]

....so then he asked me if I wanted to meet Mr. Johnson?

I eagerly said, "Yes!".

It wasn't until 20 minutes later in his hotel room that I learned that "Johnson" wasn't a publisher.

 

[I'm A Banana]

"I AM NOT AN ANIMAL! .... I am a gaming being!"

"...the last of the V8's..."

"Eric? Kevin? Gary? A giant mutant from an alternate dimension is besieging the convention center. Large smelly people in costumes that reveal more than is sane are running in terror. Only we can save them now...You know what we have to do...POWER RANGERS TRANSFORM!"

(I nominate Eric as Sailor Venus!)

"Vin Disel is at Gen Con?"

"What? My Character died, you say? I own the most powerful gaming-related website in existence...I don't think my character died, do you?"

"I am happy to announce that Steve Jackson Games, publishers of the popular GURPS game system, has become part of the collective...er...has published a d20 product..."

"MAKE WAY FOR THE KING!"

 

[Trevalon Moonleirion]

Originally posted by various hilarious posters:

"Hello. My name is Russell Morrisey. You overwhelmed my bandwidth. Prepare to die."

****

....so then he asked me if I wanted to meet Mr. Johnson?

I eagerly said, "Yes!".

It wasn't until 20 minutes later in his hotel room that I learned that "Johnson" wasn't a publisher.


****

6) "Open the pod bay doors, Dancey."

7) "I love the smell of gamers in the morning!" [okay, maybe not]

8) "Everything I saw told me that Adkison had gone insane. The place was full of bodies: unwashed bodies; overweight bodies; chainmail bikinis; unwashed, overweight bodies wearing chainmail bikinis. If I was still alive, it was because he wanted me that way. It smelled like slow death in there. This was the end of the Con, all right."

****

"Morrus, when someone asks you if you're Monte Cook, you say YES!"

****

"One night at GenCon she stuck this...."

****


quote:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Originally posted by DM with a vengence


I've just found out that American chicks dig English accents. If my current trend holds, I will have gotten laid more often in these two weeks then the rest of GenCon over their entire lives.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------



What, twice?

These are absolutely the best. After a long day, I've got to say these have cheered me up a TON. Thanks everyone who posted!

 

[Atticus_of_Amber]

Hong, are you and actuary?

Hong, I've been meaning to ask you this for a while.

One of my former players (when I lived in Sydney up until a few months ago) is an actuary and, when people inevitably ask, "What's an actuary?" she describes it as, "A kind of financial statistician."

I remember you once describing yourself as a "financial statistician."

So, are you an actuary? If so, given there aren't many of them in Australia, I think you might know at least one of my former players.

Oh, and my contribution is:

"Waiting around for a DM to try to kill you can be a real pain in the ass."

DM has monster cut the throat of a Held paladin PC:
Paladin (thinking): Oh! Basely done!
Monster (with detect thoughts): "This isn't the Olympic Games, you know."

And, of course, the immortal: Character gets horribly wounded on the battlefield and his budd yells, "Cleric!"

 

[LightPhoenix]

"So Eric, how in the seven hells did you ever deal with all those people on the message board?"

 

[GravyFingerz]

"Russell Morrisey says: use soap!"

 

[MeepoTheMighty]

I'm the Russ. So that's what you call me. That, or Russer. His Russness. Or El Russerino, if, you know, you're not into the whole brevity thing...

--------------

The Russ: You brought the f***in' Pomeranian gaming?
Gygax: What do you mean brought it gaming, Russ? I didn't buy it dice. I didn't roll it a f***ing character. He's not taking your turn.
The Russ: Man, if my f***in' ex-wife ever asked me to take care of her f***in' dog while she stole my company, I'd tell her to go f*** herself

--------------

Morrus: Can I ask you a question?
Random game designer: What is it?
Morrus: It's an interrogative form of sentence, used to test knowledge, but that's not important now.

 

[Henry]

Actually I take hardly any mind-altering substances. Except beer and coffee. But not together. Beer and coffee together would be like ice cream with tomato sauce. Ick!

I take it you are not a fan of that Cincinnati Favorite, Buzz Beer.

Ah, Buzz Beer - the only beer that gives you a hangover - and help syou recover at the same time!

 

[Henry]

"DIAL(tm) SOAP: Sponsor of the 2003 Gencon Gaming Convention!"

 

[Psychotic Dreamer]

"Good. Bad. I'm the guy with the ENWorld."

"Aren't you a little short for a Eric Noah?"

"Eric's right: there is a war coming. Are you sure you're on the right side?"

"EnWorlders, transform and roll out!"