Lost my dad recently; feeling...lost

[caudor]

Hi all, I haven't posted recently but I sure do enjoy being a part of this online community. And I'm sorta reaching out for advice today.

Sadly, my father passed away on July 24th and I think I have gone through much of the grieving process...I think. We were very close.

However, now that some time has passed, it seems like everything I used to have a passion about, including playing D&D, has drained right out of me. It feels like a cloud hanging over me and I'm afraid that it won't go away.

Is this...normal? If so, how long can I expect it will last? Or, do you think it is time I go seek some help?

 

[Imhotepthewise]

Losing a parent is grievious, but survivable. If you are suggesting you need a little help, you definitely should find some. Why suffer alone? It may not pass any sooner, but may hurt a little less in the long run. Keep on strokin', Cauder.

 

[Cthulhu's Librarian]

I'm so sorry.

Sadly, my father passed away on July 24th and I think I have gone through much of the grieving process...I think. We were very close.

However, now that some time has passed, it seems like everything I used to have a passion about, including playing D&D, has drained right out of me. It feels like a cloud hanging over me and I'm afraid that it won't go away.

Is this...normal? If so, how long can I expect it will last? Or, do you think it is time I go seek some help?

First, let me tell you that it is completely normal to feel this way. Even though it may feel like you have gone through most of the grieving process, you almost certainly haven't. I lost my father 11 years ago, and it took me a good 3 or 4 years to finally feel that I was through the process, and even then, I still had times that I was very down.

Get help. Talk to someone. It helps to have someone to let the grief out to. I was in college when it happened, and went to see someone at the student health center to talk to. Talk to your doctor if you are not in school.

Don't worry that you have lost your passions right now. They will come back. I know that I didn't listen to music for months after my dad passed away, and music was my life before that. Eventually, I came back around. You will too.

Grieving is normal. You're feelings are normal. There are people who care about your feelings, and will listen to you. Take some time to find them, you'll feel better for doing it.

Rich

 

[Argent Silvermage]

I'm sorry to hear of your loss. I was 10 when my Dad died. I can understand how it feels even though I didn't get to spend the amount of years with mine that you did with yours.

Grief is not a thing to go through alone if you don't need to or want to. Ask your family doctor if he/she knows of any support groups in your area.

Lastly just remember love never dies. just the body.. never the love held with in.

 

[KenM]

I'm sorry for your loss. I lost my Dad when I was 9. I was sent to see someone and it helped. I highly suggest some kind of support group.

 

[William Ronald]

Caudor, my condolences to you and your family on the death of your father.

When my father died after a long illness nine years ago, it took me some time to regain my interest in my past times. However, with time, fond memories overtake the grief, and you can learn to live with your loss. I still remember and miss my father, but I also enjoy the many things that my life offers me.

Take some time for yourself, Caudor, and spend time with family and friends. You may wish to check on a support group. Sometimes, we need someone else to be a source of strength for us. Remember, Caudor, you are not alone. I hope you will feel better soon. Hang in there.

 

[Buttercup]

I'm so sorry, Caudor.

I lost my father when I was only 3, and my mother just a few years ago. Speaking from experience, I don't think a person can really be over the grief in a month. After a month one probably reaches the stage where they can think about it and talk about it without choking up, but it will take much, much longer to truly come to terms with your loss.

Still, if you are wondering if you need to seek help, then you probably do. And that's ok.

 

[William Ronald]

I'm so sorry, Caudor.

I lost my father when I was only 3, and my mother just a few years ago. Speaking from experience, I don't think a person can really be over the grief in a month. After a month one probably reaches the stage where they can think about it and talk about it without choking up, but it will take much, much longer to truly come to terms with your loss.

Still, if you are wondering if you need to seek help, then you probably do. And that's ok.

Well said, Buttercup. There is nothing wrong with seeking help. You might want to speak with a grief counsellor, a psychiatrist, or a member of the clergy. Find someone whom you can trust, and who can offer good advice.

 

[DaveStebbins]

Right. If you weren't feeling well and were wondering whether to see a physician or not, the answer is always that it's better to see one and be sure. The same thing applies to our emotional well being. If you don't feel right, by all means seek out a professional to speak with.

 

[Wombat]

I lost my father six years ago. There are still times I think of him, of how much he would have liked a particular book, a piece of music, and all the rest.

That first year after he was gone I found myself randomly crying for no reason, except there was a reason -- one of the pillars of my life was no longer there.

Allow yourself time to grieve. Don't try to rush the process and accept that you will have deep, dark grey days. Your father was, I am quite sure, and honourable and righteous man. As such, he is worthy of remembrance.

The grieving will become less with time.

Your father will never be gone from your heart. That is a joy.

Keep his stories close, remember his voice, honour his triumphs, smile at his humour, and keep that memory alive. It will serve as a warm fire for your emotions in years to come.