Magical swords that no one will make

How about a Dancing Sword that only functions when you are alone.
If any one is in line of sight, it is just a sword.

But out of sight?

It likes to sing opera while dancing.


Loudly, very loudly.
 

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Hrm no int swords yet, but I have a wand of Cat's Grace that after being carried around by a demon of anxiety and a nightmare demon now has a chance when used of yelling loudly " WE ARE ALL GOING TO DIE !" or "Please dont hurt me! " and burning a charge with no other effects.
hmm hope my players dont read this before the the Sat. game

Hmm sword of frenzy - yelled and cursed opponent, insulted wielders bravery (on any pretext) incited violence when possible "you gonna take that from him?"
if wielder got hurt then save or enter barbarian type rage, then the next time an enemy is hurt they must save or have rage the spell cast on them - like the previous poster either target could fail on purpose. This sword didn't want anyone getting out alive. Would adding Vicious to this sword be to much?
anyone ever used a vicious weapon?
 

Kamikaze Midget said:
Self-depreciating Greatsword.

A self-depreciating greatsword? Wouldn't that be something like:

"Well, when I was new I was worth at least 2000gp. But now look at me. 765 years old next week, got more than a few nicks and scratches, probably only worth, um, say, 23 copper."
 

apsuman said:
A great club that constantly yammers "Swing batter batter swing batter batter, SWING!"
Better yet, a club that's into 'swinging' IYKWIM, AITYD.....
"Hey Kursk, what say you swap me for Alhandra's Holy Avenger this weekend....?"

:D
 

It reminds me a comics about a group of heroes being defeated because their shiny brand-new fire sword didn't behaved exactly as wanted. Instead of sheating itself in flames, it asked stupid riddles.

And then you see the wounded heroes going back to the weapon seller and complaining, and it turns out the smith had a speach impediment... Can't translate the pun easily, it would require for English to have a word synonym to game that would sound like "jire" or "vire"... And they bought an épée de jeu instead of an épée de feu.


Speaking weapons are a constant source of pain-in-the-equus-asinus. Like the dreaded Excalibur Junior in these "Grail Quest" game-book where you play Pip the Idiot.

Several examples:
1. The jealous sword. She don't want you to wield any other blade, including a kitchen knife for eating. "Why do you cheat on me with that ridiculous midget?"
2. The jerk greatsword who's constantly insulting its wielder. "You know why this hot-headed moron is proud to wield an impressive 2-handed sword like me? He needs to compensate for his puny 2-legged sword!"
3. The polite sword, constantly complimenting the foe's dodges and excusing herself for the brutality of its wielder, saying all this violence is against its will.
4. The nostalgic veteran sword, always reminding its wielder of how it was when it was wielded by the great heroes of yore, not like these silly ignorant kids of today, and how in the good old time, the monsters were bigger and harsher and so on. (More a talking animal than a talking sword, but look at Puck the Pookah's drunken rant in Mixed Myth for a good example of what I mean.)
5. The "exotic oriental katana who's better than all other swords because it comes from the land of ninjas and samurais". Constantly talking in phony haiku, approximative japanese, and uttering shallow philosophical saying in Yoda-speech. On the plus side, it's also a bane weapon against pirates. Note that it don't even looks like a katana.
 
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I must admit to having the urge to give someone a sword called Smile with the Improved Disarm feat, just so I can give someone a disarming smile...
:confused:
 


I once gave a thief a pair of matched, inseparable daggers that did nothing but argue with each other when unsheathed.
 
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Dancing sword: special powers only work when the weilder makes a perform:dance check equal to 15+spell level of power

Cloak of Blending (3 speeds): This cloak works as a typical cloak of blending when worn by a small creature. If a medium creature activates it they take 3d6 damage/round damage as the cloak tries to whittle them down to size. Tiny creatures lose d3 dex/round as the cloak inflates them like a beach ball.

IOU stone: this dull gray piece of hematite has the mind affecting power to cause someone to accept the stone as an IOU in lieu of immediate payment. The duration varies, but is usually just long enough for you to get out of town.

Sword of Venom: on critical hits the sword launches into a verbal tirade of epic proportions. Any struck creature with a mind (including non-sentient animals) must make a will save or be totally demoralized (treat as panicked).

Holey sword: disintigrate 1/day. And evil as the day is long.
 

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