Need advice-getting rid of a player

[Witz]

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Shadoe's Lady said:

I'm not comfortable giving out her actual age. Let me just put it this way-she's jail bait and he's at least 10 years older than she is. So, as for them needing to get together: no, and ewww.

It's not that she's the only one who's uncomfortable. She's just the only one he's making comments directly to.

Is she too young to hang with us? If you only looked at her chronological age, then you would think so, but she's also exceptionally intelligent and a college graduate. She's spent her whole life hanging out with older people. And, frankly, we like her better and she was there first.
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Hello everyone

I was just curious about this - she has graduated from college (meaning she must be 19-21). Is this correct? Based on what is being said, it appears that most are thinking we are talking about a 14-15 year old girl. This difference in the age is actually an important distinction (I'm not saying that a guy's inappropriate actions are allowed for one age and not another - which they aren't; just pointing out that she may not be as young as people are thinking she is).

Witz

 

[shadoe]

Hello everyone

I was just curious about this - she has graduated from college (meaning she must be 19-21). Is this correct? Based on what is being said, it appears that most are thinking we are talking about a 14-15 year old girl.

Witz

She is extremly inteligent and has graduated from college, but she is minor. And yes, the age diference is great (he is approximatly twice her age).

 

[William Ronald]

The most logical response, I believe, would be to be upfront and explain why the offending player is being asked to leave. Gaming is a voluntary association. No one should be uncomfortable in a gaming group. Shadoe, it seems that the fun of your game has diminished by a player acting inappropriately. So, I would say if you are going to do it, act swiftly and decisively. Hopefully, the player will seek help for whatever real world issues are causing him to act inappropriately in front of a minor.

(I have had several minors at my gaming table over the years and have a simple rule: everyone must be treated with respect. At the gaming table, everyone should feel that they are an equal.)

 

[Shadoe's Lady]

Looks like it's over

Well, we sent creepy guy the short email and he responded wanting to know what he'd done. While we were waiting to get everyone's input on a response, he started calling some people to try and get information. One person said he was sorry, but it was a group decision and he wasn't going to discuss it with him, and then directed him to ask another player for the details. That player wasn't home, so he never talked to him. The next day another one of the players (who set up our Yahoo group and has moderator functions) sent creepy guy an email telling him he was being removed from the Yahoo group and that as far as what he had done, it wasn't anything specific, that we felt uncomfortable around both him and his girlfriend and his attendance was unpredictable, so we'd rather not have him around.

Creepy guy sent a couple of nasty emails to the people who sent the first two to him. He told off the guy who sent the "subtle" email, blasting him for not being up front with him. Then he sent one to the guy who sent the second email, accusing him of having talked the rest of us into ousting him from the group and telling him that we would all eventually find out what a jerk he was and leave him (including his wife).

I'm not happy that he's trying to pin this all on one person after we repeatedly said it was a group decision and I'm not happy that he felt the need to get childish about it ("And as for your marriage I give you another five years tops before your wife gets tired of your s*** and leaves you so she can be happy"), but I think that's what he's trying to do is goad us into responding so he can keep the lines of communication open. Personally, I'm not into leaving that line open so he can dump his negativity on me-or any of us for that matter. If he thinks he's in the right, then there's nothing he has to do to punish us, our bad energy will do it for him. So, if those two emails are the end of the retaliation, then fine. It's a small price to pay to have my fun game and my peace of mind back.