We'd all been mumbling for a while about this guy creeping us out, but in 2s and 3s and never all together. So I got a little tired of it and told everyone as a whole that if he was really creeping us out we should do something about it. Already before this point he was not "allowed" to be alone with the young one-not that we told him this, we just made sure it didn't happen. Now, when we got together all it did was assure everybody that they were not the only one getting the vibe. And yes, the young one pointed out specific things, but they were all addressed directly to her at times when the noise level in the room was either too loud or some of the party was off in another room or we were all in the room, but tuning out the OOG conversations. There are 8 of us if everyone shows up, btw, which is most of the time. So you can imagine how loud it gets at times.
What Rune said:
If the man is dangerous, no amount of past friendship should protect him from the consequences of his creepiness.
The question then, is "is he dangerous?"
From your description, I'd have to say, "yes." Especially to the minor. No matter what kind of friend he may have been in the past, if he's making the minor uncomfortable, protect her, and don't do it by punishing her!
Is pretty much what we're getting at, but don't want to say since nothing has happened, we just think that there is, well, potential for it. We don't want to condemn someone for something they haven't done.
Right now the emails are flying and the young one is feeling like this is all her fault and is considering backing down. As protective as the rest of us are of her, I don't think we're going to let that happen. It was a group decision to send the first email and we wouldn't have done it just on her say-so. Her information was just the confirmation that we needed, not the sole basis of our decision. We're waiting for everyone to agree on something so it's not just one person or a few people's decision. I will let everyone know when it's resolved. I know we can't be the only ones to ever go through this.
The relationship between us and this guy is, the hubby and I knew him in college about 10 years ago. Not well, though he dated one of my friends. We ran into him at a party about a year ago, one thing led to another, and we allowed him into the group. Like Shadoe said, the creep factor spiked after his last few girlfriends and before that it really wasn't bad enough to make anyone want to take action.
The reason we get together socially outside of gaming is, well, that's just the way we are. The gaming group is usually together on everyone's birthday, national holidays, etc. Not always and not necessarily everyone, but they have become our main social group besides just our gaming group. It's not that we were all friends first and then started gaming together. The hubby and I might occasionally run into him after this at a mutual friend's place, but we're the only ones. The fact that we knew him before has been mentioned jokingly to us in the course of all this, but I do kind of feel bad about it. If they didn't think we knew him well there would have been more of a screening process, but instead it was assumed that we knew him and he was cool or else we wouldn't have asked if he could join.
But, I'm not dwelling on that. Maybe it's my fault that I implied that we knew him better than we actually did, but I didn't make him the way he is.
