The "walking cliché" of a bard, to me, is one who behaves like a smarmy class clown, fights almost exclusively with the vicious mockery cantrip and/or a rapier, and optimizes Dexterity and Charisma over every other stat. You've already met this bard, dozens of times, so you know what I'm referring to. The point of this exercise is to test the theory that bards don't
have to fit this stereotype to be fun, interesting, and effective; therefore my bard will not use the VM cantrip, will not even own a rapier, and neither Dexterity nor Charisma will be their highest (or second-highest) stat. Can it be done? Some argue "yes."
For me, a D&D character is fun and interesting when it has a good backstory and makes sense from a narrative perspective. "Because it gives me a bonus to Whatever" is the antithesis of this philosophy, so it will be avoided. Counter to that, a D&D character is effective when it can fill more than one role on the battlefield and more than one role off the battlefield, has both a ranged and melee attack, has a decent armor class, and doesn't repeat the same two actions in combat...so these will be prioritized.
And finally, this thread (and the WotC survey that spawned it) focuses only on the classes and subclasses in the 5E Player's Handbook, so this will be the only book used. No third-party books, no obscure rules options from the Dungeon Master's Guide, no Xanathar's, no Tasha's, no SKAG, nothing else. Feats and multiclassing are in the PHB, for example, so they will be allowed (and probably necessary, but we will see.)
I will consider this exercise a success if
@Blue,
@Ruin Explorer, and
@Snarf Zagyg can all agree that the Bard I create is one they would enjoy playing, even if only for a one-shot.
Wish me luck.