I don't think you and I have ever agreed on anything, design-wise, in 10 years. And I am still largely in the "verisimilitude counts" camp. But, and this is a big but (no pun intended), if there is an assumption that hit points are not only physical health, and we all agree they aren't (cuz it says so), then it makes perfect sense to have some sort of hit point loss even on a miss if the combatant is good, because anyone who has ever trained or been in a fight knows that you're expending energy even if they don't hit. In fact, it's a tactic in boxing to let the other person wear themselves out before coming in and finishing them off.
When DoaM first came out I was against it as a gut reaction. But in certain circumstances it makes sense in the context of what hit points are defined as.