OK, Conan pretty much ROCKS

[Chaldfont]

The movie is good if you take out the parts with Valeria. Its messed up. Here is how you progress:

Go from the attack on the village al the way until he punches the camel. Skip the raid on the tower. Skip to the scene where it shows Conan wandering looking for Dooms mountain. Watch until he gets rescued from the Tree of Woe. Skip the ressurection scene. Skip the orgy raid. Skip the funeral for Valeria (even though you loose that great "why do you cry?" line) Go directly to the final fight. watch the rest. This actually creates a movie that makes sense.

Conan and Subotai hear about the towers of set. Then we see that Conan continues to hunt the two snakes facing each other. Its not important as to where he got the medallion, he apparently has found a clue (and where he got this is revealed when he encounters Tulsa Doom later: He stole it from one of Dooms "homes." He goes to the tree of woe, passes out. (this works better for the conan character as in the books Conan takes HIMSELF down) Subotai has been busy elesewhere, but shows up and rescues Conan. What has he been doing? Apparently Subotai has carefully planned the kidnapping of the daughter of Doom while Doom was dealing with Conan. Doom is coming for revenge, to make sure Conan is dead and to recover his daughter. Conan and friends win the day but in a true nihilistic bent Doom tries to kill his daughter. She turns on him and leads Conan into the mountain of power to kill Doom.

The modified story fits much closer with REH style than the original form of the movie.

It would be impossible for me to watch this movie without some of the best parts:

* Conan fighting the crappy giant snake. The snake totally sucks. At one point, it seems as though Conan is caught in its coils, but I think he just slipped in some ichor and fell down.
* Conan passing out in his gruel.
* The crappy ghosts trying to take Conan's soul.
* All of the orgy battle. The human stew. The looks on the jaguar's face as Doom changes into a snake. The over-the-top death scenes as the heroes slay countless guards.

I agree that the movie isn't much like the books, but its fun in its own right.

Fun fact from IMDB trivia: Conan says something like only five words to his girlfriend in the entire movie.

 

[Swoop109]

Fun fact from IMDB trivia: Conan says something like only five words to his girlfriend in the entire movie.

That would make it about half of Arnold's dialogue for the entire film.

 

[David Howery]

one thing the movie did have going for it: a hell of a good soundtrack. The music leading up to the orgy raid made it seem a lot more exciting than it really was. In fact, the music during all of the action scenes was pretty good...

 

[barsoomcore]

People who don't love Conan The Barbarian are just weird, that's all there is to it. It's a great film. The music, the dialogue, the effects, the fight scenes, the melodrama, the hot chicks, the hair, Thulsa Doom -- it's all good.

It IS kind of unfortunate that they called the main character Conan, since there already was a swords and sorcery hero of that name and now people get the two confused, but that doesn't affect the goodness of the movie.

 

[Someone]

Fun fact from IMDB trivia: Conan says something like only five words to his girlfriend in the entire movie.

"You are not a guard" maybe?.

Even funnier is that the spanish dubbing translated that to "No eres una diosa" ("You are not a goddess")

 

[Ashrem Bayle]

Warner Bros. has set Boaz Yakin ("Remember the Titans") to write and potentially direct "Conan the Barbarian," a new take on the Robert E. Howard-created character reports Variety.

Yakin's concept is more faithful to the Howard story than were the two Dino De Laurentiis-produced "Conan" films that starred Arnold Schwarzenegger as the sword-wielding conqueror.

WB has tried diligently to revive Conan and got close twice with the Wachowski siblings and Robert Rodriguez at different times attached to helm. An early 2007 production start is set for the film.

Interesting...

 

[Filby]

If it ever gets released this looks like it will be the one REH/Conan fans have been waiting for.
now if they would just update the damn site.

Ron Perlman as Conan is a great idea.

I actually prefer animation to live action for these kinds of stories, as long as the budget is high enough for a sufficient level of realism, because you can get away with so much more in terms of FX without looking cheesy.

 

[Chaldfont]

Robert Rodriguez would have made a fun Conan movie! Plus, when it went to DVD, we'd have a new Rodriguez recipe.

The Sin City breakfast tacos are incredible.

Maybe he could do something with lizards on sticks...

 

[Orius]

Skip the orgy raid.

Are you nuts?! That's one of my favorite parts of the film! Sure, the violence is over the top but so what?

Skip the funeral for Valeria (even though you loose that great "why do you cry?" line) Go directly to the final fight. watch the rest. This actually creates a movie that makes sense.

Nah. The funeral scene to the end is all pretty good. You've got that REALLY pissed look on Arnie's face that just says he's looking to split some snake cultists up the middle. And while it really isn't REH flavor, the valkyrie Valeria in the last fight helping him take down Rexor rocks.

The modified story fits much closer with REH style than the original form of the movie.

Heck, how is the beginning of the movie REH style? Those so-called Cimmerians got whipped. In even REH's stories, the Cimmerians were the biggest badasses in the Hyborian world. No way they would have gotten wiped out like that.

 

[Orius]

Damn people...I was already thinking of watching Conan the Barbarian later, now this thread and a couple of other Conan ones I see, I'm pumped.