Pretty much all of this, just kind of went away when we switched to Pathfinder 2e, because it provided a common framework that requires way less negotiation and litigation for everyone to be satisfied with. Its not the presence of conflict that bothers me, its the amount-- we still quibble over what things should be what rarity, whether anathema is going to mean anything, and whether to use the baked in alignment system, what character personalities can mesh with the group. But, its pulling so much more of the weight for me by making these decisions in a curated way, giving my players the toys they want to use, giving me systems that I don't have to negotiate to add because they're already there, and not asking me to balance it all.
This is very similar to the reason I've never been able to get onto the "rulings not rules" school of game operation thought. Everyone needs to decide on the occasional border case or out-of-context issue, but accepting that does not mean you need to accept its a virtue to constantly make judgment calls without framework because a game is so schematic it gives you almost nothing to work with.