Robbert Raets
Explorer
Uh. Sexual orientation is not exactly a choice.
€0.02.
€0.02.
OT: gaymers?
- Thread starter Tidus4444
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Angelsboi
First Post
Yeah Im here for a bit. Im getting burned out on D&D and a friend of mine pointed me to this thread. What could I say? No to a 14 year old kid who is going through the same thing I did?
Tidus,
To let you know, he was tried for a hate crime. The judge told him if he was convicted, he would have a felony on his record and he wouldnt be able to join the military like he wanted. The judge, who was gay, wanted to see him persecuted for the full extent.
I dropped the charges.
Why?
Id rather him go to the military and possibly die doing something stupid than to see his face or someone like him at McDonalds and be reminded. So I forgave but i never forgot.
Life does get easy. If you want me to lie to you. But it doesnt and it does get harder. Im 23 and ive just got engaged to the most wonderful man ive ever met.
Im generaly not around on the weekends but if you need me, ill be checking this post through out the weekend.
Im here for you.
Tidus,
To let you know, he was tried for a hate crime. The judge told him if he was convicted, he would have a felony on his record and he wouldnt be able to join the military like he wanted. The judge, who was gay, wanted to see him persecuted for the full extent.
I dropped the charges.
Why?
Id rather him go to the military and possibly die doing something stupid than to see his face or someone like him at McDonalds and be reminded. So I forgave but i never forgot.
Life does get easy. If you want me to lie to you. But it doesnt and it does get harder. Im 23 and ive just got engaged to the most wonderful man ive ever met.
Im generaly not around on the weekends but if you need me, ill be checking this post through out the weekend.
Im here for you.
EricNoah
Adventurer
Since you're concerned about school, let me say something from a teacher's point of view:
Harassment is against school rules and the law in most places. You should make sure you document situations where you feel you've been harassed (when/where, who did it, who was a witness, what you did in response, etc.) and find a teacher or administrator you feel comfortable with to share information with. You deserve to learn in an environment free of harassment, and your school is required to help. It will go better from that perspective if you document these situations, and if you communicate early and often.
Harassment is against school rules and the law in most places. You should make sure you document situations where you feel you've been harassed (when/where, who did it, who was a witness, what you did in response, etc.) and find a teacher or administrator you feel comfortable with to share information with. You deserve to learn in an environment free of harassment, and your school is required to help. It will go better from that perspective if you document these situations, and if you communicate early and often.
Angelsboi
First Post
Um excuse me?
Now im getting upset. I was 13 when i found out i was a fag. My hubby had a girlfriend and a kid (shes 14 mind you and with a loving foster family) and then he realized he was gay. Hes 43 if that tells you anything.
It comes to people at different times. If he is more sexually attracted to guys, i think thats not really a descision hes making, more so, a descision made for him. By his body.
Hell, he will meet some great girls. I know. I have two best friends who are girls and one of them, Leighann, i gave my Clauddah ring to last Christmas. I will point out she wears it on her left hand, heart facing in. For those unaware of what that means, it means her heart is taken.
I Love Leighann with all my heart and soul. Does that make me straight? No. Because we joked that if Randy werent around, we'd be together but bringing home guys!
I understand what you are all saying about being 14 and descisions, but this isnt a descision. However, Tidus, I will tell you this ...
Dont go having sex with just anyone. If you want to wait, wait. I wanted to wait till I was married. Some smooth talking idiot stopped that. You have a rough life ahead of you kid and for that, im sorry.
But I will tell you this ...
These guys on this board have been with me through a lot of tumultous times. My mom getting the crap beat out of her and her moving in with me, my first engagement of 2 years, that break up, me moving to Georgia, this engagement ... These great and wonderful people have been through it all with me.
And if you open up and let them, you will ALWAYS have friends here. I know.
Now im getting upset. I was 13 when i found out i was a fag. My hubby had a girlfriend and a kid (shes 14 mind you and with a loving foster family) and then he realized he was gay. Hes 43 if that tells you anything.
It comes to people at different times. If he is more sexually attracted to guys, i think thats not really a descision hes making, more so, a descision made for him. By his body.
Hell, he will meet some great girls. I know. I have two best friends who are girls and one of them, Leighann, i gave my Clauddah ring to last Christmas. I will point out she wears it on her left hand, heart facing in. For those unaware of what that means, it means her heart is taken.
I Love Leighann with all my heart and soul. Does that make me straight? No. Because we joked that if Randy werent around, we'd be together but bringing home guys!
I understand what you are all saying about being 14 and descisions, but this isnt a descision. However, Tidus, I will tell you this ...
Dont go having sex with just anyone. If you want to wait, wait. I wanted to wait till I was married. Some smooth talking idiot stopped that. You have a rough life ahead of you kid and for that, im sorry.
But I will tell you this ...
These guys on this board have been with me through a lot of tumultous times. My mom getting the crap beat out of her and her moving in with me, my first engagement of 2 years, that break up, me moving to Georgia, this engagement ... These great and wonderful people have been through it all with me.
And if you open up and let them, you will ALWAYS have friends here. I know.
der_kluge
Adventurer
Tidus4444, I can't offer much advice on being gay, but I wasn't exactly the most popular kid in high school. Probably had something to do with me listening to Classical music, and playing D&D. Go figure.
At any rate, just hang in there. As long as you are true to yourself, things will work out in the end. Just stay away from those you don't trust, and high school will be over before you know it.
I can give some information on the adoption thing. Some states do forbid homosexuals from adopting. My wife is a social worker and has worked in Missouri and Kansas (we live in Kansas City, which borders the two states). Missouri, for example, does not allow homosexuals to adopt, but in Kansas they do. Go figure.
So, it largely depends on the state. Texas has a lot of archaic laws about adopting and parental rights, so it seems to be kind of in the dark ages. So, I doubt you would be able to adopt there.
At any rate, just hang in there. As long as you are true to yourself, things will work out in the end. Just stay away from those you don't trust, and high school will be over before you know it.
I can give some information on the adoption thing. Some states do forbid homosexuals from adopting. My wife is a social worker and has worked in Missouri and Kansas (we live in Kansas City, which borders the two states). Missouri, for example, does not allow homosexuals to adopt, but in Kansas they do. Go figure.
So, it largely depends on the state. Texas has a lot of archaic laws about adopting and parental rights, so it seems to be kind of in the dark ages. So, I doubt you would be able to adopt there.
drnuncheon
Explorer
Angelsboi said:
Sometimes people are confused by what their body is telling them. Sometimes people are confused by societal pressure. I went to an extremely liberal college, and I know someone who, at 21, was confused about his sexuality, and thought he might be gay. Turns out he's not, but the point is that he didn't know even though he had 7 more years. A lot of young people 'experiment', too, which doesn't necessarily mean that they're gay.
Nobody's saying 'Yes, Tidus is gay" or "no, he's not really". Nobody's even saying which way he should be. All that people are saying is that the age of 14 is an incredibly confusing time with a lot of conflicting emotions and pressures and hormones and all the other stuff, and it's really hard to know at that age what you really are.
So my advice to Tidus is: you're 14. You don't need to know where you're going to college, or what you're going to do for the rest of your life, and you don't need to know what your sexuality is. Relax, take it easy, enjoy it as much as possible, and don't let anyone make you do something you don't want to do.
J
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