(OT) Mugging/Revenge/Martial Arts

[barsoomcore]

Umbran has the right of this.

Learn how not to fight. Learn how not to be afraid and assume a victim role from the outset. Learn to control yourself and others, and you will find you can make it impossible for people to attack you.

I face a very similar situation to you and suffered a bad beating. The only reason I didn't die was because my attackers didn't bother to finish me off (one of them began to strangle me with a belt but changed his mind and walked away). There was nothing I could have done.

The next night, I took another midnight stroll through the same park where I'd been attacked the night before. I still walk around late at night. I've studied aikido and kendo and traditional kenjutsu -- none of which are forms usually thought of when people speak of "fighting" arts. I haven't gotten into another real fight since then -- that was ten years ago and I've studied a lot and learned a lot since then.

About a year ago I was (as I still do) walking home late through a rather unpleasant stretch of downtown. A man got chased into my presence by baseball-bat-wielding thugs. One of them stabbed him in the chest with an icepick and threatened to stab me.

You know what? I wasn't the slightest bit afraid. I knew he wasn't going to stab me. He was just checking to see if I was going to be a threat to him. Perhaps if I'd been frightened I might have puffed myself up, tried to be as tough as I could be. And gotten myself stabbed. Instead, having learned as I had how not to fight, I didn't. I waited for him to leave and then took the stab victim to the hospital, where he survived.

The best thing you can possibly do is learn about yourself. Learn about people and the way they behave. What they want and why they do the things they do. Martial arts can bring you that knowledge. So can other avenues of study. I like swords and so have spent most of my life learning how to use them. Not because I actually want to cut anyone up, but because the process teaches me things about myself and helps me to understand others.

And that more than anything has kept me out of fights and out of dangerous situations.

 

[Kilmore]

I know it sounds terrible, but if you're really worried about self-defense, you should keep some sort of weapon handy, whether it's a knife, pepper spray, or a big stick. I think that may be more effective and more readily usable than learning some kind of martial arts.

Joining the SCA (Society of Creative Anachronisms, a medieval re-enactment orginization) might be useful too, as they have weapons training where you wear armor and pound the hell out of each other. You may find it fun and informative as a gamer to boot. And I've heard stories about SCA'ers wearing chain mail under their coats on their way back from a meeting getting attacked with a knife, having it be deflected, and being able to spindle their attackers and drag them into the police station.

I would count on that being an unusual situation, though.

Sorry to hear about the incident.

 

[Kip the Bold]

I am sorry to hear about your mugging. My advice to you is to take up jogging and learn how to run. Let's say you spend the next 5 years learning some kind of kung fu, and the next time someone tries to jump you you proceed kick the crap out of 'em. YOU would probably the one who would go to jail...its just how these things work out nowadays. Just run away, its easier.
Well anyways good luck, I hope this doesn't happen to you (or anybody) again.

 

[Mishihari Lord]

If you want to do a martial art, Hap Ki Do is the most practical one I know, and jujitsu looks like the best of the ones I haven't learned yet. I favor grapple and punch styles over kicking styles, but opinions differ on this.

In the situation you were in, 5 to 1 with weapons, you would be in trouble unless you were at least 2nd black, and probably even then. Far better to run in that situation.

If you're going to carry a weapon, definitely get some training first. Carrying a weapon you don't know how to use is more dangerous than carrying nothing. On two occaisions I was able to take a gun away from an attacker because they didn't know what they were doing. Mental preparation counts as much as physical preparation. What will you do when you don't have enough time to think?

Fourecks has a point - ferocity and physique can beat technique. However, ferocity, physique, and technique beats just ferocity and physique, so you're better off training than not.

Martial arts have been worthwhile for me even setting aside the self-defense aspect. It's great excercise and a lot of fun. Hope you enjoy it.

 

[Oni]

If you are serious about wanting to learn to defend yourself in a relatively short period of time (relative to a couple lessons a week at most commercial schools) and you have the finances or connections I very much recommend private instruction. However it can be difficult to find a good instructor (and teacher is more important than ever when learning on a one on one basis) both in terms of quality and simple availability. The more you practise and learn the more valuable it makes each individual hour spent doing so. The person who spends 10 hours in one week practising will know more at the end of those 10 hours than a person who spent 10 hours training over the course of 5 weeks.


I have thoughts of a more philosophical bent, but I don't have time to put them down right now, I shall come back and post them later.

 

[Mishihari Lord]

(triple post)

 

[Mishihari Lord]

(double post)

 

[mythago]

Learn to control yourself and others, and you will find you can make it impossible for people to attack you.

While I'm all for self-empowerment and avoiding conflict, I'm sorry, but this is ridiculous.

As for martial arts, everyone is right in pointing out that it takes a long, long time to get to a point where you are a butt-kicking machine. You would also need to engage in training specifically geared to self-defense, because some dojos (martial arts schools) are all about the art and sparring in a controlled environment, and not about practical applications.

By the way, I strongly urge you to contact the police and give a report, even if you are not in that town, even if you can't identify the kids. See if the police can refer you to a victim's assistance group in your new town.

 

[barsoomcore]

first Barsoom core said:
Learn to control yourself and others, and you will find you can make it impossible for people to attack you.

And then mythago replied:
While I'm all for self-empowerment and avoiding conflict, I'm sorry, but this is ridiculous.

I'm sorry you think so. It has certainly been my experience.

But certainly, if you consider it ridiculous, you won't have much luck. And I do agree that contacting the police is an important thing to do, even if you are leaving. The police can only do their job if we make it possible.

 

[mythago]

There is no way to make it "impossible" for people to attack you, unless you live in an underground bunker alone. And even then....

That is quite different from saying that you can do things to greatly reduce your risk of harm. On that I agree, and that has been my experience as well.