(OT) Mugging/Revenge/Martial Arts

[Darklance]

I've been taking Ninjutsu for 8 months now. About 3 weeks ago, I was assaulted by a man (with no weapon) who wanted my wallet. I dislocated his shoulder the problem was over. There was witness that said he threw the first punch and my reaction was one of self defense so the legally I was pretty safe.

I heavily encourage you to take up a martial art as your safely can one day depend on you being able to defend yourself.

 

[DanteHayes]

Serpenteye,

That’s a bad break. I feel for you. The cruelest cut is the self-inflicted shame or guilt or loathing that one is bound to feel after such a violation. I believe I understand how you feel. It’s not your fault.

But, revenge is not the answer and, even if it was, you wont be able to buy revenge in two classes a week at seventy-five dollars a month. Not in a month, a year, five or ten.

What you can do is take this event and the emotions you have attached to it and turn that into fuel for self-improvement. And I, for one, do endorse martial arts study as a vehicle for self-improvement.

Before you proceed with this, if that is your desired course, I’d like to address some of the truisms I’ve seen with regards to martial arts study. At least, as I have come to understand it.

1) Find an instructor whose personal ethics are a good fit with your own. True. You should respect your sensei and, he should respect you. Period. This should be easy to determine by visiting a couple of classes in progress.
2) You will only get out of it, what you put into it. True. It’s not algebra. There are no formulas to simply “plug in”. It takes time, discipline and dedication.
3) There is no one style that is better than another. True. The best style is the one that suits you. For me that is Daito Ryu Aiki-Jujitsu. For you it could be Kenpo or it could be brawling. Learn what suits you best.
4) Rankings are meaningless. Mostly true. As an instructor, they have value within the system as they are your best way to measure student progress. But, they have no meaning between systems. A blackbelt in one system might be nothing compared to a greenbelt in another. The only true measure is in years.
5) The greatest value of the training is the confidence it will instill in you. True. There is a thin line between fearlessness and foolishness but, confidence is always your best defense. The best reward that I’ve ever received from the training isn’t the weight loss, improved health or, even the discipline to quit smoking; it is the feeling of self-worth for stepping up to defend myself or someone else.

I hope that all of this helps you. Feel free to contact me privately if you have any questions about martial arts in your area.

Sean.

 

[Paladin]

Serpenteye

I've studied various forms of martial arts for the past 20 years, and I've been in quite a few real-life fights. I want to echo what a few have said: traditional martial arts training will get your butt kicked in a street fight. My best friend (who has 23 years of experience) and I have taken all of the pretty flying kicks, katas and plain old stuff-that-doesn't-work and eliminated them. We concentrate our hybrid style on pure, realistic self-defense. It is somewhat sad that there aren't many schools/instructors out there that take this approach. If you can find one that concentrates on pure self-defense - learn from him. You wanted some self-defense advice, so here you go:

1. Since guns are illegal where you live, carry a knife. Knives are GREAT weapons and are actually deadlier than guns when used properly. They're also a tool, and it's pretty easy to just say, "How do you expect me to open a box without one?" if you are questioned about it. There are quite a few knife fighting videos and books out there that are good, if you can't find someone to teach you. Knives are easy to conceal too and that makes them even more dangerous.

2. Carry a Mag-Light flashlight, preferrably the 3 C cell or 3 D cell models. These are made of aircraft aluminum and can easily crush a skull on a critical hit. Seriously though, they're great weapons and if asked about it, "I use it when's it's dark. Duh."

3. Develop a limp, and carry a cane. Canes can even be taken on airplanes with no problems whatsoever. There are actually fighting canes you can buy online. My friend has one and they are great, not to mention you can quite easily learn to fight with one by reading a book on it. The damage you can do with 3 feet of hickory is amazing. If asked about needing the cane, "I need it from time to time for an old [insert sport here] injury. Today my [insert right or left] knee was killing me." Let them prove you wrong.

4. Pepper spray not only works on the mucous membranes of the eyes and nose area, but any membraneous body locations - like armpits and genitals. O-u-c-h. Spray to the face, spray the genitals, kick them in said genitals, run away, laugh hysterically. Pepper spray is NOT a weapon, it is a "non-lethal defensive measure." MACE has killed people (if you're worried about that) but pepper spray never has, it's all natural. Make sure to get one that has at least 10% oleo-resin caspium.

5. Remember that you carry any weapon to protect you or those you care about. If anyone has a problem with that - too bad. The folks who are anti-weapon are also not going to come to your assistance should 5 scumbags attack you. YOU have to defend YOURSELF. If needed, kill your opponent. If not needed, don't. It's as simple as that. You have to determine in that instance if you're going to be a victim or a victor, defensive or defenseless. I commend you on defending yourself against those scumbags, most people nowadays simply give-in. Good job. Also, remember the phrase, "I feared for my life officer, he said he was going to kill me."

If you have problems getting any of these things, or have questions - e-mail me and I'll help you however I can.

 

[barsoomcore]

Re: Serpenteye

The folks who are anti-weapon are also not going to come to your assistance should 5 scumbags attack you.

Well, I think I would call myself anti-weapon in that I'm opposed to making it easier for people to get hurt or killed, but I'll certainly come to the assistance of anyone I see who's in trouble. I've stood up to stab-crazy thugs, as I noted above, and prevented them from attacking me, without lifting a finger, much less a knife or a Mag-Lite. Even though they'd just stabbed a man as I arrived. Even though I was a potential witness to a potential murder.

If somebody has to get hurt, of course I would prefer it to be the nasty attacking scumbag. But I would far, far prefer that no one get hurt at all. I know mythago considers my notion ridiculous but it has worked for me for many years and allowed me to withstand truly violent people intent on violence without anyone getting hurt.

I see a man with a knife and I think, "Fear." I think that man is afraid, and to comfort himself he carries what he thinks will make other people afraid of him. The problem is that when you frighten people, you make them very unpredictable. You give them reasons to attack -- because they need to comfort themselves against the fear you've just instilled.

I'm a big guy -- 6'4" and broad-shouldered -- and just because of that fact alone I tend to draw violent types towards me. Because I'm big and intimidating and they need to demonstrate (even if only to themselves) that they are not afraid of me. It caused me trouble in the past, but not for many years now, that I've learned so much more about setting people at their ease and standing in front of them without being intimidating. Because I'm not afraid anymore.

People don't just attack each other at random. Attackers select victims, and by knowing that, you can remove yourself from the selection process. Not only yourself but the people around you, the area within your presence.

This isn't magic or hocus-pocus or new-age empowerment crap. These are just the facts of how people get along with each other. Or don't, as the case may be.

It's not very popular because you don't get to win battles against nasty foes. There isn't a secret font of wisdom or a twelve-step process. There's no moral superiority or cool foreign terminology. There aren't even swords, and anything without swords doesn't usually get very far in my books.

It's just compassion, insight and courage. Without those, I don't care how many black belts you have or what kind of knife you carry. You're not doing anybody any good.

Whew! I don't usually get so serious. Sounds corny, don't it? Well, I guess it is. I can't tell you how surprised I am that it works.

 

[Vargo]

My old martial arts instructor summed up our education thus:

"Empty-handed martial arts is a struggle to see who gets the weapon first. After that, it's all over."

The above mag-lite suggestion is a good one. I like the cane idea better - reach is ALWAYS a good thing, because bad stuff happens where they can't reach you. If you think you can get away with carrying a second cane somewhere, practice escrima - a Filipino marital art focused on two weapon usage. Very effective.

Learn to use terrain to your advantage. Five versus one can become a series of one on one fights if you can find the right location.

I'd tell you to show no mercy to an opponent that falls, but you'd probably get arrested for excessive force. It's a great way though to establish who's in charge, though, especially if you've only got one primary and a bunch of hanger-ons. Knock down the primary, beat the heck out of him, and his toadies will likely leave you alone.

Plus his toadies will probably leave him, too.

 

[Serpenteye]

It helps . I'd like to thank all of you for your advice and support. You have given me a lot of food for thought. I don't know exactly what path to take but this has been a good start.
I feel ok, I still hurt quite a bit here and there and it's annoying not to be able to use my glasses (and to have to pay to have them fixed), but that's about it. I'm not really traumatised by the incident, just a bit angry, things could have gone a lot worse and I was pretty lucky considering. Even my anger is really not very intense, I'm not a passionate person, it keeps mellowing and pretty soon it will be gone. What I really want now is to turn this experience into something positive, a key to new insights, a tool to motivate myself into learning skills that might save my life if I'm ever up against tougher opponents. Perhaps some day I will even be grateful to the little -eating thugs who did this to me... but not quite yet.

If there's anyone who has any more suggestions I would be happy to hear them but even if there's not the replies I've already got have by far exceeded my expectations. This is a great community

Barsoomcore, I'm sorry to hear about your incidents and glad you got trough them intact, thanks for sharing.

 

[barsoomcore]

My old martial arts instructor summed up our education thus:

"Empty-handed martial arts is a struggle to see who gets the weapon first. After that, it's all over."

That's very wise.

I know that I would far rather fight a guy with a stick or a bat or something than a guy who was empty-handed (assuming I'm empty-handed). I'm much more confident in my ability to take such a thing away from someone and then possess the definitive advantage than to have to try and stop someone from punching me or grabbing me.

But then I've spent a long time learning how to swordfight and almost none learning how to punch people, so I may not be typical.

Serpenteye -- right back at you, dude. Nil carborundum illegitimus (don't let the bastards grind you down, for those who ain't heard it). Thanks for your concern. The world's a good place full of good people -- just because a couple of baddies show up now and then doesn't make that any less true.

 

[NoOneofConsequence]

I've read through the whole thread to see if there's anything for me to add. Nothing much new I'm afraid. I will second Barsoomcore and Fourecks in saying that attitude and confidence go a hell of a long way in a conflict situation. I've been through those "any moment now this is going to turn physical" situations and confidence in your capacity to cope with the outcomes is a big factor in survival. A good martial art should give you this confidence.

What I will say though is, from the way your story reads, you're already tough enough. You stood up to five guys and took a pasting rather than just give in to threats. In terms of attitude, you're already most of the way there. Against five opponents you are never going to come away uninjured once things come to blows. No one's that fast or strong. The best a good martial art (or similar fighting training) can offer is to condition your body so that the injuries are minimal.

On the subject of weapons, my limited experience tells me that weapons often escalate violence - at least as often as they defuse it. Also, carrying weapons can promote an inflated sense of security and over confidence. Having a knife opens your up to the possibility that it can be taken off you and used against you. Owning a firearm massively increases your chance of being shot. Again, it Barsoomcore who highlighted the important point - making people afraid makes them unpredictable and much more likely to resort to violence.

Anyway, that's the advice I've got. You may, possibly, reach a stage where you are a skilled enough fighter to beat five opponents. The vast majority of martial artists, boxers, street-fighters, bar brawlers etc never reach this level of ability and it is a genuinely unrealistic ambition. You can however train to survive.

 

[Reprisal]

http://www.mcdojo.com/

Make sure you read some stuff about the nature of martial arts and make the distinction between knowing martial arts and knowing how to defend yourself. They're not always related... Having a black belt in some martial art doesn't necessarily mean that you know how to fight and defend yourself.

- Rep.

 

[mythago]

Since guns are illegal where you live, carry a knife.

Er, carrying a knife may not be legal where you live. If you don't know how to use a knife, you have a problem. And lying to a police officer ("He said he was going to kill me!") can get you in a great deal of trouble--especially if there are witnesses.

I'm not saying that self-defense items are always bad; only that you should be well aware of local laws before you decide that you can carry a knife because hey, you can just tell the nice officer it's a boxcutter.

Barsoomcore, again, I agree with you that there are many ways to avoid getting singled out as a victim--but I don't agree you can completely eliminate the possibility. Maybe this is one of those gender things.