[OT] The Secrets of Dating, or How to Get the Girl!

[alsih2o]

Join an on-line personals group. You have to know how to advertise though, like take my pic:

i have known tarchon my entire adult life, and i have never fpund him so sexy....

 

[tarchon]

i have known tarchon my entire adult life, and i have never fpund him so sexy....

I think it's my air of non-arrogant confidence, my insouciant quality of being available without being interested, and the fact that I am being myself but without self conciousness.

 

[Elder-Basilisk]

You mean its not the dollar signs that briefly flash on the image between two of the frames?

I thought you were saying subliminal messaging was the way to go. . . .

I think it's my air of non-arrogant confidence, my insouciant quality of being available without being interested, and the fact that I am being myself but without self conciousness.

 

[tarchon]

You mean its not the dollar signs that briefly flash on the image between two of the frames?

Oh THAT - that's just random pixel noise created by the aliasing when I compressed the wipe pattern between the images.
---
<i>Satura quidem tota nostra est.</i>
- Quintilian

 

[Ankh-Morpork Guard]

Oh THAT - that's just random pixel noise created by the aliasing when I compressed the wipe pattern between the images.

Even that horse looking thing? Interesting...

 

[Liminal Syzygy]

Re: Not that I wanted to respond, but I got sucked in!

1) Get the first marraige over with...you'll learn a lot!

Eh he he... You got me with that one.

 

[mirzabah]

I can't claim to be an expert on either women or dating, but here is some advice I overheard in a pub toilet once:

Drunk #1: Hey mate, whaddya do when you've got the hots for this chick, but she doesn't want to know you, but her best friend can't keep her hands off you, but she's a dog?

Drunk #2: (considers for a minute) Kick 'em both inna head!

I've not actually tried this myself, but it seems about as reliable as any other advice I've ever heard on the subject of dating. Seeing that I have recently become officially "between relationships" perhaps I'll have any opportunity to try it

Cheers,
Mirzabah.

 

[Isida Kep'Tukari]

I'm not exactly a northern woman - I'm more of a middle-of-the-country woman, but I'll add my two cents. (And yes, despite the male name, the person behind Ray Silver is female, long story.)

[rant]

I'm a little disappointed after reading this thread. I've read many comments about "getting some booty", "one night stands" and similar things. It's irksome to hear that some guys (and girls) consider casual or semi-casual sex to be part of the dating scene.

Maybe it's just because I'm going into health care, but the thought that people are jumping in and out of bed with multiple partners (over the course of their life) scares the living daylights out of me. Remember health class, people? Did they ever make you guys see the slides of the results of STDs? (Or STIs as they're known now.) If you haven't ever seen those slides, please go to your local college bookstore and pick up a book on human diseases. Read the symptoms and look at the pictures. It may help you decide to keep your pants on next time.

I'm sorry if that came out a little strong, but there are way too many potential negative consequences in this world to let "getting some" come before concern for one's own body.

I know that some people to take precautions, and some do not enter into a sexual relationship casually, but I don't think enough people understand the potential for danger. Please be aware, educate yourself.

[/rant]

Ok, and back to the relationship issue.

I never actually dated in high school or junior high. Extreme shyness was my problem. Also, as I was too shy to seek guys out, if there even had been any subtle signals, they would have gone over my head. I definitely was a wallflower.

I had one guy express overt interest in me, but that was more because of his interest and desire for a "relationship," any relationship. I soon realized that I couldn't handle dating very well at all. I was involved in several time-consuming activities, and I really need a lot of time to myself. When I realized that I was dreading the weekends because my two days of free time were going to be "taken up" by "having" to go spend time with this guy, I got out fast. I didn't consider that "dating." I considered that a brief object lesson in guys not to go out with.

I went to my senior prom by asking a guy friend to take me, and aside from that dance and another (Sadie Hawkins-type dance) I went to every high school dance stag. So yes guys, aggressiveness is somewhat of a virtue. Not all girls have this mystical ability to pick up on your psychic "I want you" vibes. And remember, for the most part, it is more acceptable for a guy to ask a girl out than the other way around. If a guy can't get up the courage, most girls won't get up the courage to ask. The only reason I did so for prom was because... it was prom. I refused to go to prom stag.

Over a year ago I began a relationship on-line. It stemmed from mutual interest in gaming, which was a big mark in his favor. It went from IMs to phone calls and e-mails, and an eventual meeting (which have become several) . When it became clear he had some interest in me beyond the fact that I was a gamer chick, I told him point blank that I have a degree in cluelessness when it comes to relationships. If he wanted to tell me something, I wasn't going to use my mystical female intuition to divine his intent. He was going to have to be obvious and overt or I was going to keep it cool.

There are plenty of girls who aren't on the dating scene. For instance, I'm in college. Where are the best college dating places? Parties in the frats and bars. Guess what, I'm not a greek and I don't drink. I can strike approximately three quarters of the university males off my list with that qualification.

Perhaps guys should try new dating grounds - like (for those in college) clubs. Most universities (particularly the public ones) have dozens, even hundreds of clubs, for any potential combination of interests. It would have been great had I found a guy in the kayak club, athletic training club, gaming club, or mountineering club. As it is, I ended up finding a guy through our favorite mutual hobby.

 

[Sullaf]

1. Make more money.
2. Increase your social status.
3. Become much more attractive.

Are you serious?!?! Well that's probably 'the American way'. There are people on this planet who find social status and money not a prerequisite for dating. These people tend to fall in love on general principal, not because 'johnny earns [insert large amount of money] and has a new [insert large expensive car] and has a lot of [insert absurd expensive jewelry] and goes by the name of [insert random pimp name]

I'm sorry to say, but that was the saddest piece of advice I have read in a long, long time on so many many levels...

Anyway, here is my piece of advice:

1. Don't try to be someone you're not, just be yourself...
2. Don't take advice from anyone. Trial and error is the way to go.
3. Don't think of women as a separate species: they're not.
4. Don't go out 'to get a girl'. This will normally never work. (large quantities of alcohol seem to increase your changes slightly it seems)
5. Just be yourself and have fun: the rest will go naturally. After all, we are still animals and reproduction is build into our genes. It's not a matter of 'if you meet a nice girl and fall in love', it's a question of 'when'.

 

[jester47]

I got a link to an article about why nice guys never get the girl right here. Quite interesting, and amusing too.

Fark.com always comes through with great links.

Holy $#!+ that totally sums up what I have been realising but have not been able to put into words! Thank you Dark Jester. Now I know what to tell my friends who can't seem to maintain relationships that work...

Its a moot point for me ...as I am a floating skull.

Aaron.