That's where I am, too. In the end, one takes priority. And it's (almost) always optimization. The player who's built an optimization monster might have a few scenes where they RP really, really well...but when faced with a situation where they have to pick one or the other, they'll (almost) always pick optimization over RP. You can't serve two masters and all that. It's like multitasking. People think they can do it and are great at it, but
every bit of research shows the literal opposite. You don't do both well, you do both really badly.