Pineapple Express: Someone Is Wrong on the Internet?

[payn]

Just when you think they exhausted ways to put pineapple and pizza together....

 

[Mad_Jack]

Scottish clan histories tend to be full of many stories involving the theft of horses and cattle

Because that was the traditional way that Scottish and Irish clans kept score - it was the original version of organized sports taking the place of actual combat...

 

[Scribe]

Annnnnnnd thats enough news for today.

 

[Cadence]

Gaugh. I should have just finished watching Vera and not checked in here.

 

[MNblockhead]

Honestly, I think my biggest problem with the Bard is the name. If they had called it "Adventurer" or even "Scoundrel," I'd probably have a higher opinion of them. But instead they called it "bard," so now there's always a dumb lute hanging around, pasted over an otherwise cohesive character concept like a piece of Microsoft Word clipart.

View attachment 372953

"Sure, I'm in combat and armed with a sword, but look at my lute, isn't it awesome?! I bet you thought I was a rogue but no, I have a lute and that means I'm a bard!"

Pbbth.

I can't help it, I love the magical music bard trope. I like characters from folk stories that likely inspired the concept in D&D: Orpheus, Taliesin, Oisín, the Pied Piper, Väinämöinen, etc.
Loved the Bard's Tale Video Game, I loved Name of the Wind, I loved Eddie Munson in Stranger Things.

One of my character concepts I never got play was a female, human bard inspired by Ani Difranco. Instead of press on nails held in place by electric tape, they would be metal and also used as a weapon if needed. Or maybe it should be a tabaxi bard, though I don't know how well cat claws would work for playing guitar, even with tabaxis' human-like hands with opposable thumbs. Stringed instruments are not the most practical instrument to bring into battle, soldiers did in real life (e.g. "trench cellos"), but these were not battle instruments. But this is fantasy. Having the bard's lute get smashed every other battle is something I would only do if I had similar rules for the change of spell books, ingredients, foci, and holy symbols getting damaged.

 

[trappedslider]

Really wish there was the capability to be only notified when an actual NEW thought was added to a topic instead of the same drum beat.

 

[MNblockhead]

Like with every class in D&D, the game has eaten its own tail with the bard and it no longer resembles anything other than a D&D bard.

I don't know, the myths of Orpheus come pretty darn close to a magical, adventuring bard. In some stories he accompanied the argonauts with his lyre, using the power of his voice and playing to overcome dangers, such as the sirens. And his, uh, dalliances put D&D bard lechery tropes to shame.

 

[Dannyalcatraz]

Or maybe it should be a tabaxi bard, though I don't know how well cat claws would work for playing guitar, even with tabaxis' human-like hands with opposable thumbs.

May I introduce to you my female Maine Coon:

She was an accomplished solo vocalist, who occasionally accompanied herself on piano (on pitch, even!). And, as depicted in the photo, liked to dabble in a bit of cello. Usually, she used a “pawzicato” technique, but every once in a while, she’d nibble on the strings like she was Jimi Hendrix.

 

[trappedslider]

The trolley problem gets out of hand

 

[Hussar]

I truly want to play a Goliath Bard with this magic item from Griffon's Saddlebag: