Pineapple Express: Someone Is Wrong on the Internet?

[deganawida]

PROFUSE PROFANITY, CURSES, & VULGARITY!!!!

Sigh. They called off my jury duty for tomorrow. I've been dismissed once, selected four times, and none of my cases have ever gone to trial (three submitted pleas before trial date, and fourth fled the state).

Why can't I ever get to actually be a juror in a trial?

 

[TwoSix]

PROFUSE PROFANITY, CURSES, & VULGARITY!!!!

Sigh. They called off my jury duty for tomorrow. I've been dismissed once, selected four times, and none of my cases have ever gone to trial (three submitted pleas before trial date, and fourth fled the state).

Why can't I ever get to actually be a juror in a trial?

Do you live in a city, or away from it?

Because no one wants to be a rural juror.

 

[payn]

PROFUSE PROFANITY, CURSES, & VULGARITY!!!!

Sigh. They called off my jury duty for tomorrow. I've been dismissed once, selected four times, and none of my cases have ever gone to trial (three submitted pleas before trial date, and fourth fled the state).

Why can't I ever get to actually be a juror in a trial?

I had jury duty once. This was before smartphones and even cell phones were still a luxury. I sat there for a full week and not once got called up for a case. We almost got called up they told us to collect our things and head to the lobby. Once we got there we were told to go back to the jury pool room because they decided to settle...

 

[deganawida]

Do you live in a city, or away from it?

Because no one wants to be a rural juror.

When school's not in session, my city has about 34k people. When school's on, it's close to 60k. So, pretty rural, but biggest city in the county.

 

[RealAlHazred]

Just saw this in my news feed and thought I'd share.

Typing monkey would be unable to produce 'Hamlet' within the lifetime of the universe, study finds

A new study reveals it would take far longer than the lifespan of our universe for a typing monkey to randomly produce Shakespeare. So, while the Infinite Monkey Theorem is true, it is also somewhat misleading.

phys.org

It's infinite monkeys and infinite time for precisely this reason. A single monkey would be highly unlikely even with infinite time. You might as well do a study on who would win the World Series of only one team played; and the answer is, of course, "that team," unless the team is the Cubs, in which case it's always, "Nobody."

Does remind me of a time my boss asked me what I thought of a Root Cause Analysis one of my coworkers wrote.

Me: "You know that Infinite Monkeys thing, where an infinite number of monkeys typing for an infinite amount of time could produce the works of Shakespeare?"
Boss: "... Yes."
Me: "Five monkeys, ten minutes."

 

[CleverNickName]

 

[deganawida]

View attachment 384609

Speaking of....the Meximelt is back as of today!

 

[Maxperson]

View attachment 384609

 

[Snarf Zagyg]

PROFUSE PROFANITY, CURSES, & VULGARITY!!!!

Sigh. They called off my jury duty for tomorrow. I've been dismissed once, selected four times, and none of my cases have ever gone to trial (three submitted pleas before trial date, and fourth fled the state).

Why can't I ever get to actually be a juror in a trial?

As I always say, I'm never wrong but judges and juries screw things up all the time.


Fun fact- that thing you think is true? About lawyers never serving on juries? NOT TRUE. Lawyers do get struck at a pretty high rate, but attorneys are on juries all the time.

 

[Dannyalcatraz]

Fun fact- that thing you think is true? About lawyers never serving on juries? NOT TRUE. Lawyers do get struck at a pretty high rate, but attorneys are on juries all the time.

This is true. I served on a jury when I was maybe 18 months out from being licensed. I even told them I was in solo practice.

They giggled when I said that, too.