Pineapple Express: Someone Is Wrong on the Internet?

[overgeeked]

I.
Talk to the folks in your gaming group, and listen to what they have to say. And when they tell you that something isn't working well, or making them uncomfortable, or having a negative impact, believe them. Then do better.

II.
Talk to the women in your life, and listen to what they have to say. And when they tell you that something isn't working well, or making them uncomfortable, or having a negative impact, believe them. Then do better.

Why is #1 a no-brainer, and #2 so controversial?

They both should be no brainers. But if you’ve been paying attention around here, you’d know the first one is very, very controversial.

 

[Cadence]

On science, sloppiness, fraud, and intention.

https://statmodeling.stat.columbia.edu/2024/12/03/toward-a-unified-theory-of-bad-science-and-bad-scholarship/

 

[Gradine]

I.
Talk to the folks in your gaming group, and listen to what they have to say. And when they tell you that something isn't working well, or making them uncomfortable, or having a negative impact, believe them. Then do better.

II.
Talk to the women in your life, and listen to what they have to say. And when they tell you that something isn't working well, or making them uncomfortable, or having a negative impact, believe them. Then do better.

Why is #1 a no-brainer, and #2 so controversial?

#2 is controversial because so many "male influencers" have convinced a legion of sad, lonely men that women are some kind of alien, inscrutable beings at best and objects to be used and discarded at worst. Anyone infected by the "man-o-sphere" would be entirely puzzled why you'd want to talk to a woman, and would be aghast that you'd listen to one.

 

[overgeeked]

On science, sloppiness, fraud, and intention.

https://statmodeling.stat.columbia.edu/2024/12/03/toward-a-unified-theory-of-bad-science-and-bad-scholarship/

Nice. I like that. Knave or fool? Doesn’t matter.

 

[prabe]

#2 is controversial because so many "male influencers" have convinced a legion of sad, lonely men that women are some kind of alien, inscrutable beings at best and objects to be used and discarded at worst. Anyone infected by the "man-o-sphere" would be entirely puzzled why you'd want to talk to a woman, and would be aghast that you'd listen to one.

When the fact is that any other human will be an alien, inscrutable being. (This does not mean you shouldn't talk to or listen to them.)

 

[overgeeked]

#2 is controversial because so many "male influencers" have convinced a legion of sad, lonely men that women are some kind of alien, inscrutable beings at best and objects to be used and discarded at worst. Anyone infected by the "man-o-sphere" would be entirely puzzled why you'd want to talk to a woman, and would be aghast that you'd listen to one.

You’re not wrong about that happening, but it’s nowhere near the sole cause. Some people simply lack empathy. Empathy is learned behavior and, as a generalization, men are not taught empathy nearly as well as women. In fact, you could make the case that men are actively discouraged from learning empathy. Even punished for it.

Look close to home. Look at the dominant RPG. What role does empathy play in D&D? It’s often seen as a liability, not a strength.

 

[Umbran]

When the fact is that any other human will be an alien, inscrutable being. (This does not mean you shouldn't talk to or listen to them.)

Other humans are scruitable. You just may need an intense scruit. And maybe be willing to toss away many preconceived notions.

 

[prabe]

Other humans are scruitable. You just may need an intense scruit. And maybe be willing to toss away many preconceived notions.

A) I was at least mostly joking (which might not have conveyed).

B) Theory of mind is often kinda difficult, and occasionally nearly impossible.

 

[Umbran]

B) Theory of mind is often kinda difficult, and occasionally nearly impossible.

The internet is not a particularly good vehicle for scruit.

But more, really I see all the time the idea that people are unknowable, and that's just garbage. We just don't take time to know each other.

 

[prabe]

The internet is not a particularly good vehicle for scruit.

But more, really I see all the time the idea that people are unknowable, and that's just garbage. We just don't take time to know each other.

I don't believe I made such a general statement that was not also intended as a joke. Did I?

Yes, trying to figure out all of a person based on nothing but what you see them say on the Intenet is ... at least very probably folly. I am reluctant, however, to put every (or any specific) instance of being surprised by human behavior to a failure of empathy (or lack of effort at scruit) on the part of the surprised.