Player challenging DM authority and competative

[Raven Crowking]

Yeah, someone's being unreasonable here.

It's either

(1) The guy who is putting in the work to run the game, and is working to run a game that he and the other players will enjoy, OR

(2) The guy who wants to DM, but can't find any players willing to play if he does so, and who has attempted to usurp the first guy's authority over the game he's running.

Hrm.

I can see why some people find this a tough call.


RC

 

[MrMyth]

Yeah, someone's being unreasonable here.

It's either

(1) The guy who is putting in the work to run the game, and is working to run a game that he and the other players will enjoy, OR

(2) The guy who wants to DM, but can't find any players willing to play if he does so, and who has attempted to usurp the first guy's authority over the game he's running.

Hrm.

I can see why some people find this a tough call.

Why's it either one of the other? I can't see any reason why we can't declare them both unreasonable.

That's pretty much my take on the situation. Of course, I doubt we really have the full context to properly judge things, but from how it's been described... we've got one player who isn't really the best addition to the group, sure, and is being unreasonable when he tries to circumvent the DM's restrictions on character options. At the same time, we've got a DM who is being unreasonable when he forces someone to play a character they don't want to play.

I'd say both have room to compromise.

Now, that doesn't mean the troublesome player will be willing to do so! But in this case, the DM is the one coming to us for advice.

And my advice remains: Try and work with the player while setting appropriate boundaries. Explain why you don't want him using this specific new character, and work with him to see if you can figure out some character ideas that he likes and that will fit in the game. And give him the opportunity to try and play a character he will be happier with.

You don't want to give him the impression that he can get away with whatever he wants. But you do want to give him the opportunity to enjoy the game.

Now, if this doesn't do the job? If it becomes a recurring problem, he wants to keep changing characters, or he isn't happy unless he is always outshining another player? Than you have an issue. But the most likely solution isn't to force him to do what you say - honestly, it is to have an open discussion with him and see if he is willing to work on those problem areas. And, if not, to ask him to leave the game.

Letting him keep playing while forcing him into an uncomfortable position is only going to keep building those tensions and causing problems within the group. And that isn't really a winning solution for anyone.

 

[Arbanax]

Actually just to say as the original poster the person in question has well established habit (I found out since) of getting bored with characters that don't outshine the rest of the group. It would seem their motivation for changing character (and hence the way they went about trying to change said original character) was more about competing with and trying to be top dog of the group, rather than cooperating with the group. This, seems to be a pattern.

I have to say that since talking to the rest of my group, all of us are both shocked, surprised and embarrassed by the way this individual has consistently and insistently acted since my original post. Although they have come back and apologised (which is the first positive sign).

So what we've done as a group, is try to tackle this whilst trying to say yes. Trying to allow him room to develop a character that suits him, without making everyone feeling penalised.

Anyway the group has discussed it and made come to a consensus which I'm working through with this person. We're talking - with the considerations the rest of the group have asked for (none of which are onerous) so we'll see where we go from here.

Thanks again

Ab

 

[avin]

This is the kind of discussion I never have.

If somebody starts pissing off players and disrupting sessions I kill him in game.

 

[Nemesis Destiny]

This is the kind of discussion I never have.

If somebody starts pissing off players and disrupting sessions I kill him in game.

What do you do when the problem player is the DM?

That's the problem my current group faced years ago. We ended up mutiny-ing on him and reformed without him. He joined back up a little while later (as a player) and became even more of a problem. He was constantly trying to argue rules decisions and usurp the new DM's authority. He would prepare "adventures" for her to run, which were patterned in the style of his old game; heavily scripted and very railroad-y, compared to the new DM's preference for sandbox-style games heavy on exploration and RP.

Needless to say, it didn't go well and he eventually just quit when he didn't get his way all the time.

 

[Raven Crowking]

What do you do when the problem player is the DM?

Exactly what you did -- quit and start with another GM.

Life is too short to play with adults who act like small children.

Don't Trust Milton Friedman Again!



RC

 

[the Jester]

What do you do when the problem player is the DM?

That's the problem my current group faced years ago. We ended up mutiny-ing on him and reformed without him. He joined back up a little while later (as a player) and became even more of a problem. He was constantly trying to argue rules decisions and usurp the new DM's authority. He would prepare "adventures" for her to run, which were patterned in the style of his old game; heavily scripted and very railroad-y, compared to the new DM's preference for sandbox-style games heavy on exploration and RP.

Needless to say, it didn't go well and he eventually just quit when he didn't get his way all the time.

You took the perfect approach up to the point at which you let him back into the group.

As soon as he started trying to be the authority, I think he demonstrated an unwillingness to change. DTMFA. If you've had to eject someone from your group once, it is very rare that letting them back in has an overall positive effect (imho and ime).

 

[Nemesis Destiny]

You took the perfect approach up to the point at which you let him back into the group.

As soon as he started trying to be the authority, I think he demonstrated an unwillingness to change. DTMFA. If you've had to eject someone from your group once, it is very rare that letting them back in has an overall positive effect (imho and ime).

Yeah, it's hard to say no to someone whom is also your friend outside of D&D though. Since then (it was over 10 years ago), most of that group has gone separate ways, so it's no longer an issue and even if it was, I'd like to think that now we're mature enough to handle these differences in a better way.

On the plus side, that mutiny group is where I met my wife (the aforementioned DM), and one other player is still in the group to this day.

 

[Mishihari Lord]

If I were in your place, I wouldn't want to waste my recreational time dealing with this kind of drama, and your player doesn't sound like someone I would want to game with. I'd sit down with the guy and let him know that his behavior's disruptive and if he doesn't shape up he won't be invited to future games. And then I'd follow through.

 

[Dice4Hire]

Explain what is wrong, give him a second chance, then a third if he is your friend.

If those don't work, ask him to find a better game for his style

Not everyone belongs at every table, and unfortunately, some people don't belong at ANY table.