Player schticks that grind your gears

[Nomad4life]

We play out the obligatory intro scene and immediately the new guy gets a deer in the headlights look. One of the regulars (the guy who brought him in) starts talking to him in character. The new guy just sat there and stared at him and was totally speechless. The regular asks him who he was and what he was doing there. The new guy told him his REAL name! When the regular player said "I'm not talking to YOU! This is in character." He didn't seem to get it. Finally the new guy sort of slips into character and the regular guy repeats the question. All the new guy could come out with was "Well, my name is....*turns to sheet*... Reginald.... I'm a ranger... that's.... that's what I do...."

Wow. Just… Wow. That's pretty ungood.

 

[Orius]

Things I hate:

The Crapshooter: Everytime this player has to roll the dice, he thinks he's at the craps tables in Vegas and rolls the dice so hard they roll off the table. I ran a short capmaign in which EVERY freakin' player did this.

The Percentile Cheater: When you have to roll 2d10 for a d100 roll, this player always declares which die is which digit AFTER making the roll. This is why I switched to those nice d10s numbered by 10s for d100 rolls. The Percentile Cheaters were not pleased.

No Immersion: Must name character after a wrestler or some other goofy-ass real world thing that sticks out of my campaign like a sore thumb.

Mr. Splatbook of the Month: Doesn't have any real concept for the character except for trying to add whatever feat/PrC etc from the latest splatbook he thinks is cool. Related is is the guy who gets bored with his character after two sessions and wants to roll up a new one.

Lovebirds: The dating players who make out at the game table.

Ones that have been mentioned:

The guy that is always in perfect range for melee attacks, but is nowhere in range at all when he gets attacked. Or a trap goes off. Gets cranky when I insist on miniatures.

Overdeveloped: has a character background that is so overdeveloped, he doesn't really fit into the campaign. And there's no logical reason for him to follow a plot hook. I also don't like the "My character would never do that", or the RP types that go out of their way to build a charater that does NOT work in the campaign or with the other characters.

Monty Python quoters: for the love of God, stop introducing this movie to nerds! I don't think it's that funny at all, and I get tired of people quoting it. Other movies are ok though...

People who get picky about OOC/IC talking. Lighten up people, it's just a game and a social activity. It's annoying when the blathering derails the game sure, but people who take the game and their character too seriously are annoying.

Badass loner: again it's a group activity. Stop thinking this concept is at all cool to the rest of us because you can't get laid.

The guy who can't be bothered to learn about the campaign world or the current campaign, or any relevant house rules.

As for me, I'm "guilty" of the recycled and generic characters. But I don't see this as a problem. First of all, there are certain concepts I like to play, and I play them. That's what's fun for me. Do NOT make me play an elf bard because you want to see me play something different, because I'll just get the character killed and go back to my human/dwarf/gnome fighter/paladin/wizard. As for generic, I want to keep the character loose enough so he can be flexible with development as the campaign progresses, unlike the character concepts that are so tighly constructed that the force the campaign to work with them, rather than try to be part of the campaign.

 

[Primitive Screwhead]

For me, there are two main Player schticks that just annoy me to no end..


- Mr. How does my character special abliity work again?.. after the 6th session you think someone would figure out 'Stunning Fist'

- Mr. Distractable.. iPOD, laptop, new book, new Dragon mag, pretty butterfly outside the window.... but complains about being left out of the story and demands I re-describe the entire scene when its his turn to act.

Last gaming group.. I had one player who did both of these...
...and blatantly cheated..
...and give up when his character took any ability damage..
...and made out with his wife..
...and flirted with a single female player.. {same game session, wife was in the back room checking a rule on the computer}
... and *always* forgot his character sheet.... Oi!



Anyway.. some of these posts here make me feel like I have been fortunate! Thanks!

 

[GSHamster]

Weapons Connoisseur - Guy who knows absolutely every real life detail about every different weapon, and will spend forever chosing and discussing the exact make, model and manufacturer of the weapons in question. Happens most often with guns, but also swords.

I once played in a Spycraft game where a couple people spent over an hour picking the exact weapon profile for the group. When we finally got around to the mission, we didn't pull a gun once. (Bribery and stealth FTW!)

 

[Sandain]

My last group had;

A whiner - I will just leave combat up to the fighters, since im useless. I know my fireball just killed 8 Frost giants but....

A powergamer/min maxer/always rolls crits

A Roleplayer - a pleasure to DM

A guy who wanted to know everything about the world, what color is the Inn, what style of dress is the maid wearing, name everything on the menu... Also he would endager the group by saying 'my character wouldn't know that every other sentance

And the I wouldn't have done that then guy I charge those 4 giants! OK they all have reach and all attack and ht for.. 'oh i wouldnt have done that if id know ... instead i wilkl do.. ARG you cant roll back time!

 

[The Thayan Menace]

Always Fresh!

But I've had a few players that, even after months of playing, seem incapable of determining how to add up their attack, or do anything that has even a faint whiff of math.

A more extreme variation of this is the Perpetual Newbie. This player cannot remember the simplest rules (math aside) ... even after years of playing the game.

-Samir

 

[Orius]

Oh, I forgot one: The Preroller: spends half the session futzing around with his dice, and when he rolls that 20, says he's saving it for the next d20 roll. Also does this with damage dice.

 

[Elemental]

See, now this I don't have a problem with. You're taking notes and forget things "sometimes". Great, I can work with that. It's not players like yourself that bother me, it's the guy who managed to forget in the space of one week that they were even delivering a letter (much less to whom ). .

Been there. In a game in Eberron, the PC's had been tasked with following some Emerald Claw agents who were up to no good in an island chain and seeing what they were trying to do. There was a very strange session where the group were acting randomly, going off in different directions and generally doing a headless chicken impression. Turned out that they had collectively forgotten what the mission was--every player assumed that the others knew what they were doing and were following their lead!



The Dowsing Rod:

This player has an unerring instinct for the hideously broken. Typically, the power comes from a combo of several broken things rather than one easily spotted big one, so they look harmless till they bust out their combo that deals two 90-damage piercing cold-subsituted lightning bolts as a free action each round, use a Gate scroll to call in a klurichir which then summons two balors, or play a Dweomerkeeper with XP-free wishes. In general, if they even put it on their sheet, you should start thinking about how it can be abused.

Groups with players such as these typically end up with a long litany of houserules that are nominally for everyone, but only ever apply to this player. And every time one of his ridiculous comboes is nerfed, he will moan about how you're targeting his character.

A good test for these players is to show them the Tainted Scholar PrC, or the Death By Thorns spell. If they think they're fine as written (a common refrain is "well, there are ways to deal with this, you just have to be creative"), then be afraid.

 

[Drowbane]

The Uptight Rules Lawyer: Believes in following the absolute letter of the rules and will stop play for hours if he thinks a DM judgement is wrong. Is completely unwilling to table such discussions until after the session.

The Jailhouse Rules Lawyer: Thinks he is a standard rules lawyer, but there is one very important difference... he doesn't really know the rules. He'll make a case based on a fragment of information, often out of context (for example, the summary spell descriptions in the PHB), but then refuses to admit defeat when presented with superior evidence countering his argument (to continue the example, the full spell desicription later in the PHB - not that I've dealt with this guy before).

Note - I don't have a problem with the Relaxed Rules Lawyer. That's the guy that knows the rules inside and out, is more than willing to share that knowledge when called on, but understands that sometimes the GM just has to make a ruling and go on. Will wait until after a game session to have any lengthy rules discussions so game time isn't disrupted.

-FT

My Fresno/Reedley group had an Uptight Rules Lawyer for awhile... he pretty much voted himself off the island for being annoying. We just stopped the invites to games.

I guess I'd consider myself a Relaxed Rules Lawyer / Powergamer.

 

[Hypersmurf]

Heh, in my group the exact opposite seems to hold sway. We have a saying - Lady Luck hates being told what to do.

You've got a +15 fort save, and the DC to resist the paralyzing gas is only 17? No problem, right? Piece of cake.

You will fail that save nine times out of ten if you even dare utter one word aloud about how easy that save will be for you to make.

Bubba the Barbarian says: Don't Miss It!

This here was Gephrekian Tallbow. He was an elf.

"Here comes the rope, Geek!" I shouted. "Don't miss it!"

"Hardly!" he snorted. "My Dexterity score is 21, after all."

"That's good to know, Geek. Don't miss it!"

"I'm a 15th level Ranger/Magic-User/Assassin, with a saving throw against everything of 2! If you think that overgrown purple fishing lure down there scares me, you're sadly mistaken."

"I hear you, Geek! Just don't miss it!"

"AND STOP CALLING ME GEEK, YOU STUPID HULK OF A BARBARIAAAAAAAAA--..."

Geek missed it. Don't you do the same.

Dungeon Magazine.

-Hyp.