D&D General Poll: Do DMs/GMs need to trust their players?

[hawkeyefan]

I'm reminded of one of the best practices offered to players in Blades in the Dark:

Don't be a weasel.

It's a great bit of advice and I think it's relevant here. If you know your players are playing with integrity, it makes it easier for you to do so as well. I find the trust issue is a feedback cycle... it's a two-way street, and the more trust on one side, the more on the other.

 

[Krachek]

For me I will say : don’t bother with the question.
I know that my players make mistake, I do too,
If mistake are made willingly, what we usually call cheating, it will still write a story: a monster will die, a Pc will survive, a vilain plot will be revealed,
cheating, playing right, or make mistake, all make the story goes on.

 

[Eric V]

I'm a bit surprised that this thread has turned into a discussion of players cheating.

When I read @EzekielRaiden's OP, which draws a direct parallel between trusting players and trusting the GM to make judgement calls, I thought the sort of trust at issue was trusting the players to be making sincere action declarations, to be leading the game in interesting places, to make worthwhile contributions to the fiction, etc.

Same. I deleted a previous reply because I thought it wasn't what the thread was about.

 

[EzekielRaiden]

I'm reminded of one of the best practices offered to players in Blades in the Dark:

Don't be a weasel.

It's a great bit of advice and I think it's relevant here. If you know your players are playing with integrity, it makes it easier for you to do so as well. I find the trust issue is a feedback cycle... it's a two-way street, and the more trust on one side, the more on the other.

Always good advice. Honesty is, in fact, the best policy.

 

[EzekielRaiden]

I think it has to go both ways. Or, at least, trust should be the default.

If either does something surprising (player making an action declaration, or DM describing environment or making a ruling) we should assume/trust that he/she has the bigger story in mind.

If we lose that trust it’s time to replace that person or find a new table.

Being perfectly honest, I had expected most answers to be negative here. I had expected most people to say "nah, players are selfish, petty, and shortsighted." Because that is implicit in the way a LOT of people talk about trusting the DM, usually in a very specifically dubious situation where concerns seem perfectly warranted. And then...pretty much never talk about DMs having to earn that trust or give trust to their players. Instead, they dwell rather a lot on "players 100% always will ruthlessly and irrationally exploit every advantage regardless of whether it makes sense or fits the rules or spirit of the game"...

So I was frankly shocked to see a solid majority say "always" and over 80% say either "always" or "frequently." For how utterly one-sided the DM/player relation is usually described, it seems most people here on ENworld actually see it as much closer to equal.

 

[Hussar]

Being perfectly honest, I had expected most answers to be negative here. I had expected most people to say "nah, players are selfish, petty, and shortsighted." Because that is implicit in the way a LOT of people talk about trusting the DM, usually in a very specifically dubious situation where concerns seem perfectly warranted. And then...pretty much never talk about DMs having to earn that trust or give trust to their players. Instead, they dwell rather a lot on "players 100% always will ruthlessly and irrationally exploit every advantage regardless of whether it makes sense or fits the rules or spirit of the game"...

So I was frankly shocked to see a solid majority say "always" and over 80% say either "always" or "frequently." For how utterly one-sided the DM/player relation is usually described, it seems most people here on ENworld actually see it as much closer to equal.

I think it's more the case of a couple of really, REALLY strident voices making it sound like tables don't trust their players. In actual play though, most of us are pretty happy with our players and we haven't had trust issues at the table since high school.

 

[Umbran]

Rather than ask if a GM "needs to" trust players, I'd say that the less trust there is at the table, the more likely there's going to be a problem at the table.