Oddly, I haven’t experienced players who gleefully and actively fight against genre conventions like this outside of 5E players. Then there’s the 5E players I’ve experienced. It seems to be a uniquely 5E experience to have players actively and gleefully fight against whatever expectations and conventions are in place. They seem to take a perverse joy in being contrarian and burning games down. Yes, obviously my experience is not representative. Thankfully. But it’s still my experience.
Not at all denying your experience - trying to dig around a little to see if we can see the root of that experience.
Like, first off, where are you playing - in open game-store play? With friends in your own home?