Rant: Players who don't DM

[JesterPoet]

Okay... I'm fed up.

I play regularly in 3 different gaming groups. In one group (5 people), all of us DM somewhere (there's only on DM that runs for this group, but we all run another game some other group, and there's some crossover). In another group (4 people), everybody has run at least once, though myself and one other person run most of the time. In the last group (6 people) 2 of us run exclusively, though 1 other person has run one game. So it's the last group that's irritating me.

Here's the breakdown of the last group:

Me
Dude 1
Dude 2
Chick 1
Chick 2
Chick 3

Myself and Dude 1 run lots of different games, generally for a period of weeks before switching. Dude 2 just joined us, and I don't know if he DMs or not, but he isn't a concern yet since he's new. Chick 1 has run one game. That's cool. She's not super comfortable running (though she's pretty good) but at least she tried. Chick 2 and 3 who have been with us since the beginning (2 years ago now) have never run, or volunteered to run.

To me, this is simple mooching, and it shows me how little they appreicate what myself and Dude 1 do for them. DMing has never been directly asked of them, but we've had plenty of occasions where myself and/or Dude 1 have said, "It'd be really nice if someone else ran something so we could both play" and Chick 1 was the only one ever to bite (and she's relatively new to the group as well).

Again, I understand being uncomfortable, but, seriously..... it's like not paying for pizza when it is your turn. It's really being a mooch... especially in a group where the job of being a DM is rotated. All they would have to do is try it one time and I'd never question them again.

Anyway... nothing's really gonna solve this issue... but if you're a Chick 2 or Chick 3 in your group, keep this in mind. It may actually bother people that you never offer to DM.

 

[Crothian]

Wow, forgive me but this really seems petty. Not DMing is not like refusing to pay for the pizza. DMing takes time and skill. DMing is not an easy thing to do and is not for everyone.

If it does bother you this much, talk to them. There is a solution to this problem.

 

[EricNoah]

DMing is a skill, one that takes practice. Chick 2 and Chick 3 may never volunteer because maybe they don't have a venue for "low-stakes" practice. You might want to set up a little rotating schedule for a while -- something where it's clear that everyone is going to run a one-shot. But also offer to help -- maybe co-DM one time, or help set up the scenario, or create the PCs or something.

It may also be that some folks just don't want to DM. I don't expect anything out of my players other than to be good players. If they want to DM, that's their business.

 

[billd91]

I'm kind of surprised at this too. Some people simply don't have it in them to DM and I wouldn't hold that against them. As a frequent DM, I just want my players to have empathy for how much work I put into the game (which is sometimes lacking, other times quite nice).

DMing is kind of a calling anyway. You generally want to DM because you like to have that kind of creative control over a campaign or you're burning to try something new and creative that you've thought up. You really can't put someone reluctant into that position and expect it to go really well.

Think of the opposite extreme in which one player insists on taking regular turns at DMing but is really bad at it.

 

[Desdichado]

Funny. In our group, we all want to DM and get frustrated if we have to play too long without a stint behind the ole screen again. It seems weird to be have a group of all reluctant DMs...

 

[derelictjay]

I totally disagree with what your saying. Most people are scared to DM, partially because they're shy others because they don't think they can run a good game.

I personally know this guy who was forced into DMing before he was ready. And when he didn't do a good job, we (I'll include myself) ate him for lunch. Now that guy doesn't play anymore. You want that to happen, don't get upset if some people don't want to DM.

 

[Rodrigo Istalindir]

I can't over-emphasize the importance of the one-off adventure. Few people in a regular campaign will feel ready for that level of effort the first time out; it can be daunting even to those of us who have done it for years (decades? damn I'm getting old).

I've found that running a one-session, combat-heavy encounter with new characters not only gives newbies a chance to practice DM'ing, it also gives the other players a chance to mess with classes and feats they've not had a chance to use before.

Gladiator arenas work well for this sort of thing. Find a way to hook it into your current campaign (the party needs some cash quick and gets a good betting tip, or something), give everyone the parameters for character creation (or whip them up yourself), and let someone else run the encounter.

Some people will never take to DMing, that's just the way it is. But a lot of people just lack the confidence in their rules knowledge, or their ability to think on their feet. Being able to practice in sessions where they don't need to worry about the big picture, or where they don't have to have every rule memorized, helps a lot.

 

[Kalendraf]

Not everyone is cut out for DM'ing. It's a difficult job, and takes the right kind of person to pull it off. Expecting everyone to DM is akin to...

1) Expecting each and every one of your classmates taking a turn teaching the class. While it might be viable in certain classes like education, in most cases it's not going to work.

2) Having each of your co-workers take turns being Boss for a day. Might seem cool, but I bet that many of them would make very poor leaders.

3) Having all the passengers on a commercial flight take turns flying the plane. I think I'll find another airline, thank you.

4) Having all the band members take turns singing (or playing a certain instrument). Some musicians would be skilled enough to handle this, but most aren't.

5) Letting each player on a (U.S.) football team be the quarterback for a game. This could be pretty comical, especially when the big 300+ linemen get their crack at it.

There's no good reason to require any of these absurd things to be done, and that includes expecting each player to DM.

 

[blackshirt5]

Eh, what really drives me nuts is people who refuse to DM and then piss and moan about other people's DMing. And then refuse AGAIN when the entire group says "ok fine; you run, then."

My group has 5 people. 3 of us DM. I can understand the one guy not DMing(he's new to the game, and he sucks with rules; he's also not the greatest at coming up with a story.) but the other guy has been gaming for years; and he never DMs.

 

[xbrokenxswordx]

Some people are actors, some people directors, and some people both. Some people are musicians, some are songwriters, and a lot are both. Some people paint, some draw, some sculpt, some do two or more.

Some people play RPGs, some people run RPGs, a lot of people do both. But some people don't. Some of us don't want to run a whole world, some of us would rather focus on our character and let the good storytellers who actually enjoy that role fulfill it while we do the roles we enjoy.