I've spent some time trying to get to grips with the hidden design principles actually at play here. Mostly I think it comes down to "don't mess with forward causality of decision->action->resolution" and "don't separate character/player resources." This thread has me considering another principle "don't introduce new information through resolution."
I think that about covers all the cook/lock etc. swirl. You can reveal hidden information during resolution, and characters (GM or PC) can introduce new information during action declaration, but resolution can only enact changes to the known board through existing known rules structures.
I feel pretty good about that, because it answers the "realism" question. Calls for "realism" are best understood as appeals to use a relatively knowable common knowledge ruleset in cases where the rules are undefined.
To me, it seems that your criteria are routinely violated in everyday RPGing.
I've already pointed out, in this thread, that D&D combat resolution violates forward causality in at least two ways:
(i) the turn-by-turn resolution (eg a person who takes cover later in the fiction but earlier in the mechanical sequence of resolution gets the benefit of that cover against an attack that occurs earlier in the fiction but later in the mechanical sequence of resolution);
(ii) whether or not person who is in a fight dodges, or falls for a feint, isn't really known until the damage are rolled and the overall effect of that hp loss is known.
These are both well-known phenomena. They underlie the tendency, found in RPGs like RQ, RM, GURPS, HARP, Burning Wheel, etc to move towards simultaneous resolution, to factor in a dodge value or resolution process, to use hit location, etc.
Hit points also separate character and player resources, in that a player can know they are (for instance) unable to be shot to death by three crossbow-armed militia members (because their PC has 50 hp left), whereas the character can't know that none of those crossbow bolts can kill them.
And as I've also pointed out upthread, it's routine to introduce new information through resolution: the roll of a hit against a PC is narrated as the character stumbling over a stone on the ground; a failed climbing check is narrated as some rock being slippery or crumbly or a clump of grass pulling away; etc.
The first two issues are typically dealt with by distorting the fiction: the game participants act as if the fiction itself is a "stop motion" situation; and the fiction of injury and healing is treated as if it actually involves "shaving off" a person's hit points, like chipping away at a concrete block.
I don't have such a strong intuition about the third, but one way is just to narrate the character as lacking the physical prowess or failing in their climbing technique.