All I can say is that if you believe in standing by your commitment to a principle, the last thing you want to hear at the table is "What the hell is up with that Rob?" Because that means just I screwed something up.
All I can say is, if you’re serious about sticking to your principles, the last thing you want to hear at the table is: “What the hell is up with that, Rob?” Because when I hear that, I know I’ve screwed something up.
In both my day job and my hobby, I rarely encounter people acting in bad faith. Most folks just want their issue solved (at work) or want to have fun pretending to go on adventures (in gaming). So when something goes off the rails, I take it as a sign of bad judgment on my part, maybe I didn’t give enough information, or the right kind, or I didn’t explain things clearly. Once we hash it out, I try to do better next time.
And when I do get it right, when I’ve been consistent and the players feel that events arise from a plausible world, something shifts. The atmosphere becomes more relaxed. Players take more risks. They’re more willing to accept adverse consequences, even a total party kill, because they trust the outcome was fair, not the result of me pulling strings behind the screen. And when they succeed, they relish the victory because it feels earned. To be clear, even this insight isn’t just theory, it comes from conversations I’ve had with my players about how the campaign was run.
I’ve been doing this a long time, and while I’ve enjoyed a lot of success, I’m still finding areas to improve. Mostly because even now, I haven’t experienced everything that’s possible, or even probable, in tabletop roleplaying.
Finally, I understand your skepticism, and that’s fine. I haven’t earned your trust on this, and honestly, a forum discussion isn’t the place where that kind of trust can be built. It has to happen at the table, session by session, through consistent play. And even then, it takes ongoing effort to maintain. So, for me, what the players are willing to put up with is a constraint. And that is the minimum. What I really want is for them to have fun and have interesting (to them) adventures visiting the world I created.