Running Gags

[Dannyalcatraz]

I didn't know it could do THAT!

Originally by a DM running an adventure in which the party was facing a particularly deadly monster (a monster he had never used before), he would occasionally pause as he read the tactics from the creature's entry and, eyes bulging, exclaim "I didn't know it could do THAT!"

The PCs did not fare well...

Now, whenever a DM in our group pauses while glancing at his notes, someone invariably shouts that out. The phrase as also been used when playing new games or with new expansions to old games (like MTG), or even for the occasional double entendre...

 

[dvvega]

"It's The Village People ... YMCA!"

Early during my DMing career I described the village, and how the inhabitants came out to laud and honor the adventurers. Of course back then it was described as "the village people dance and sing your praises all night long". So from then on every pseudonym for people was employed.


"I Put On The Cloak Of Poisonousness"

My wife's first every character was a young Fighter/Thief (2nd ed) who loved grabbinb knick knacks and trying them on before the party could find them. She single handedly found every Cloak of Poisonous in any game that I ran.

From that point on, any fool hardy act of trying on magic items before they're identified is simply stated as "I Put on The X of Poisonousness"

"<MOOSEHORN> Are you gay?" (There is nothing wrong with it, just a story).

I formed a group where someone told me of the "moosehorn" for talking out of character. If you wanted to say something to a player or the DM you put up a hand, thumb touching your head and spoke - the moosehorn. I liked the idea and we began using it. It was great.

During a particular game, the mayor of a town the party had been employed by invited them round to dinner and took a fancy to the young Rogue. He was making comments about his appearance, the armour he wore, how he had seen the most darling shortword jsut perfect for the Rogue, etc etc. Everyone is laughing about my portrayal of the attempted seduction, but the Rogue's player just didn't quite "click". Suddenly it dawns on him (or so we think) and he moosehorns "Are you gay?" at me.

Needless to say it was funny ... and so from then on, whenever someone is acting not so ordinary (the obvious evil guy etc), they moosehorn a "Are you gay?".



"Everyone Run!"

My wife, same character mentioned above, had a penchant for rolling 1s with anything that wasn't her standard issue weaponry (longsword, long bow, daggers) that she started with . This all began with the grappling hook incident. She lobbed it over the wall to climb it with the Cleric and Wizard next to her. The 1, followed by a very bad roll on the fumble, ended up with part of the cleric's face being gouged by the grappling hook. Some healing later and she's trying again, the 1, followed by a half decent roll on the fumble results in her accidentally lobbing it over the wall too far and the wolf patrolling the other side getting hooked. When they climb up they notice it whimpering as the hook is deeply embedded.

Then there was the +3 spear they had found and she couldn't get into melee, so she hurls the spear at the giant. However the 1 followed by a bad fumble, ends up with the Paladin with a spear that had scored critical damage sticking out of his back.

And the Expedition to the Barrier Peaks with the Grenade usage chart ... let's just say she rolled the worst every time and exploded half the party by one fumble.


D

 

[Aaron L]

Well, one time in an Oriental Adventures game we were playing, everyone was asleep by the fire except for the samurai on guard, and the player is a bit... less than brilliant. Well, he got hit by something that flew out of the woods, noticed a figyres clothed all in black with a throwing knife of some kind in its hand, and he got up, grabbed his sword, and off he ran through the forest... off a cliff we had camped beside, and down, down, down...

He lay there with 0 hit points. He was about to call for help when the DM asked him for a wisdom check DC 10. He passed (well, the character did... ) and the DM said "You think there is a ninja out there. You dont think yelling for help would be a good idea."


So from then on, if someone is in a bad situation we always say "There're ninjas out there. I wouldnt yell if I were you."


Oh, and "Asmoooooodeus, KILL the monkey!!"


The party wizard decided hed get himself a pet monkey. And he decided he'd name it Asmodeus. Well, after a few game sessions of feeding Asmodeus bananas and watching it fling poo, the great archmages tower was attacked by a series of little scaly lizard monsters, which the great and powerful wizard identified as abishai. So he teleports away to someone he knows will help, my ranger (the player of the wizard was my brother) and we go back to his tower to fight the devils, and it takes maybe a round to kill each of them. (we were a 23rd or so level 1E magic-user and ranger, respectively.) After killing one of them I say "You needed me for THIS?" and the archmage, looking sheepish, says "Theyre DEVILS, I was SCARED!"


Hence, "Asmodeus, KILL the MONKEY!" became a taunt we used. We never DID see Asmodeus face to face. I always hoped we would. Well, we did run into Bob the Pit Fiend.... not its real name, of course. Never learned who sent it, but my poor brother believed it when it gave him some name and he thought he had it under control. Oh, how he got burnt.



"You can call me..... Bob."

 

[Darrin Drader]

We didn't roll for initiative, we rolled "inishnivit."

One of my less experienced players created a character named Marcus Aerelius. Sadly, Markus died horribly at the hands of a red dragon,but he soon made a replacement character. Among the possessions of that character was a bottle filled with the essence of Marcus Aerelius. He kept threatening to uncork it in the middle of tense combats.

My players didn't agree with the alignment system, so they invented their own. I had one player who decided that his character's alignment was Satanic. He later got tricked into putting on a helm of opposite alignment and his alignment changed to "Jesus freak." From that moment forward, whenever parlaying with a potentially hostile enemy force (and aren't they all, really?), he would offer them a bible.

The most feared creatures in my campaign were death knights and ninjas. OK, the death knights were feared for obvious reasons, but the ninjas were special DM ninjas that knew a thousand ways to kill a man with a paper clip. It was really a joke that didn't see any actual play until one day when they were confronted with about ten of them. The ninjas bent their paper clips into deadly shapes and launched them at the PCs, wreaking massive amounts of damage against them.

DMs lala land. One time I thought it would be fun to have them encounter a devil with a sense of humor. Actually, they found a helm, one of the PCs tried it on, and immediately became a unique devil that insisted on taunting them as he plane shifted them from one nasty location in the hells to another, all the while laughing at them. Eventually they knocked him down below zero hit points, were able to remove the helm, and the PC returned to his old self, minus several hit points. From that moment on, any time it looked like I was railroading the group or leading them through a series of improbable events, they accused me of being in DMs lala land.

Any barbarian NPC encountered was immediately assumed to be named Rhothgar of the Hill People.

 

[Lord Pendragon]

In the game I currently play, the ranger found his first animal companion, a wolf, while we were in the middle of a dungeon. The DM described a wolf that had been following the party, and was suffering from mange.

So when the party got back to town, the ranger--thinking to cure the wolf's mange--bought some salve. It was a grave mistake. Ever since then (we're 12th-level now) when anyone asks where the ranger is, the answer is "off salving his wolf."

 

[StupidSmurf]

Years ago, I ran FASA's Star Trek: The Roleplaying Game for my group. We had a nice, solid, thriving campaign set on a Constitution class vessel, the USS Valiant (NCC1718), set around the time of Star Trek II:Wrath of Khan. During one mission, the crew encountered a threat of some sort, and one of the indications that something wasn't right was the fact that the planet's moon was recently shattered by some tremendous (if unknown) force. However, the moon wasn't central to the plot. It was simply collateral damage. However, the Chief Navigator was convinced that the moon's destruction was important. He didn't let it go. He kept harping on it, researching it, whatever.

So anyway, the players immerse themselves in the storyline and tackle the challenges. The adventure progresses nicely. One of the characters, who was actually the ship's Captain, finally figured out what was going on, what was behind it, and how to stop it. He called a meeting in the briefing room, and, like Sherlock Holmes explaining the mystery's solution at the end of one of his tales, gave this brilliant presentation where he pretty much nailed it.

The room went quiet. Everyone was absolutely floored by the Captain's presentation. They now had the means to beat the adventure. Suddenly, the Chief Navigator pipes up "Well, that's all well and good, but you still haven't explained how the moon got destroyed." The rest of the room erupted in good-natured exasperated laughter.

From that point on, whenever a character came up with the solution to a problem/trap/challenge/entire storyline, someone would inevitably pipe up with "Well, that's all well and good, but you still haven't explained how the moon got destroyed."

 

[Drew]

"Ah, this must be where they keep their snakes."

Said by me during a 2E romp throught the Tomb of Horrors. There is a large chest in the adventure full of vipers. The phrase usually refers to a goofy or illogical trap or encounter in a published adventure, although its sometimes just uttered whenever something unexpectedly bad occurs.

 

[sniffles]

In the game I currently play, the ranger found his first animal companion, a wolf, while we were in the middle of a dungeon. The DM described a wolf that had been following the party, and was suffering from mange.

So when the party got back to town, the ranger--thinking to cure the wolf's mange--bought some salve. It was a grave mistake. Ever since then (we're 12th-level now) when anyone asks where the ranger is, the answer is "off salving his wolf."

We've recently added a similar one to our repertoire. Our Greyhawk party came into possession of an elephant. One of the players made a comment about the elephant being "shiny". The GM asked, "How did the elephant get shiny all of a sudden?" The player replied, "I've been buffing it!"

Now we make a lot of comments about "buffing the elephant".

Re: Whisperfoot's "inishnivit" - we roll for "nish". The fault of some guy none of us even know. He used to say "nish", and his ex-roommate told us about it, so now we amuse ourselves (and annoy our friend, originator of the trend) by announcing that we roll for "nish".

 

[Vraille Darkfang]

Pokes head in:

Animated Object (Gag), can indeed use the Run Action (Speed 40').

Pokes head out.

 

[GM_Brad]

In our group, there is the running joke of having to shout "INVISIBILITY!!!" in order to cast that particular spell. It works best if you throw your hands up in the air like Moses parting the Red Sea, shaking them wildly while you shout.

This came about through a GM's interpretation of what it means to have to cast a spell in a loud, clear voice, while a character was trying to sneak into an enemy city using his wits and stealth. Needless to say, given the interpretation, the character was unsuccessful.