D&D 5E Sidelining Players- the Good, the Bad, the Ugly, and the Poll

[Satyrn]

. . . it would be best to say something before excusing oneself.

"Good bye" perhaps.

 

[Caliban]

Well, that was rude.

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G930A using EN World mobile app

 

[FormerlyHemlock]

I was curious, so that's why I put up the poll. I assumed that many tables had a lingering social default similar to the one that I was familiar with.

With necessary caveats (unrepresentative sample- because it's enworld, and possible confusion over poll wording, etc.), I think it's fair to say that this assumption is widespread enough that if you are playing at a table where this issue has never come up, it would be best to say something before excusing oneself.

The poll, however, does not address the social contract for players at all. It just asks whether it's okay for a DM to kill off player characters. It doesn't say anything at all about a player's obligation to stick around (or not) when her character(s) are out of play.

If you want data on this topic you need a different poll.

 

[Seramus]

With necessary caveats (unrepresentative sample- because it's enworld, and possible confusion over poll wording, etc.), I think it's fair to say that this assumption is widespread enough that if you are playing at a table where this issue has never come up, it would be best to say something before excusing oneself.

So, essentially, ask permission to ensure nobody will have any negative feelings? "I'm really sorry for any possible inconvenience. Since my character is out of commission for the rest of the session, would it be alright if I gracefully bow out until next session?"

The poll, however, does not address the social contract for players at all. It just asks whether it's okay for a DM to kill off player characters.

Well, the poll is asking if it's okay with making players wait an extended period of time without any activity in the game. Not if they are okay with player death.

 

[lowkey13]

*Deleted by user*

 

[Seramus]

What would a poll like that look like?
1) No, please stay for the entire game and watch.
2) Okay, but only a few times.
3) No problem with it, as long as they are polite.
4) Obligatory funny option.

 

[lowkey13]

*Deleted by user*

 

[lowkey13]

*Deleted by user*

 

[FormerlyHemlock]

Given the extremely strong nature of the commentary from some respondents, you are welcome to set up that poll.

I'll bring popcorn.

It's here: http://www.enworld.org/forum/showth...e-for-a-sidelined-player-to-leave-the-session

 

[Seramus]

Part of being in a group (and not being a sociopath) is checking in to see what other people want. I'm not sure why we all agree that table communication is imperative (we agree on that, right?) but it seems like an insurmountable obstacle here. And it's not like this is a novel issue. It's the same for anything.

I definitely agree, with the caveat that there is more to communicate than you have actual time to communicate it, and often forget about issues, or have no idea something is an issue to be discussed until someone is doing it right now and oh snap feelings are hurt. Oh, and going too bureaucratic about it makes the communication process miserable and people shut down just to get it over with faster, so you have to cut it down to the highest priority issues.

But... Yeah. Communication is messy but completely necessary.