So...am I evil??

[Shasarak]

Last year, my father became so ill that he stopped eating and taking care of himself. I did what I could to help him, but he just refused to eat and dwindled away. I had to pump formula through his feeding tube, change his diapers, clean him up, and leave my job to care for him 24/7. He passed in late October of last year, with me at his bedside holding his hand while he passed. The whole experience was incredibly stressful and emotionally wracking, especially as his mental faculties left him, and he became irrational and abusive. It's only the strong bond I had with my father, and his example of giving of himself to do for others, that kept me from throwing up my hands and crying "no more, I'm done." I can't imagine I'd have been as inclined to look after him if his example for me had been one of selfishness.

I am sorry to hear that MechaPilot. I can not imagine what it was like.

 

[MechaPilot]

I am sorry to hear that MechaPilot. I can not imagine what it was like.

Thank you. It was quite rough (there are some days when it still is), especially the holidays that followed. However, I was also very fortunate. I have a very good friend who was willing to watch my father while I was at school twice a week. Because of him, I didn't have to leave school (and I'll be graduating next week instead of this autumn).

 

[Lanefan]

Was this an evil move in and of itself? Likely yes*.

Was it done with good intentions? Very likely yes.

* - taken from a single-incident out-of-context perspective, as we're not told whether this sort of practical-joke behavior is a common and accepted part of life within this family (it is in some) or not.

 

[GreyLord]

there are a couple things I don't understand...you keep saying that you enjoy 4e....but you don't like playing it with your son? and...somehow giving your son's age would be giving too much information about him on the internet? that doesn't make much sense to me....this whole thing is really bizarre

I like 4e overall. I like the system. Too much of a good thing though. I had my main character at the time, but because I was the Lone Player I also had 2 other characters I was in charge of who were my henchmen. My son also had an NPC so we had a 4 character party. As I didn't have the cards I had to write all my powers and such on paper and keep track of it that way (Don't have the character builder). One character is fine, but three was a bit overkill for me, to the point that I was sick of it, at least for now.

I think this topic has morphed into something a bit more interesting. Fathers and sons have difficulties in many ways and I think there are those who have fantastic relationships with their sons, and those who have troubled relationships.

My and this son always had difficulties in many ways. It may be that I was a bad father when he was growing up. I focused more on business and was mostly out of the house a LOT when he was growing up. My daughter was always great getting along with, we always saw eye to eye, but my son and I had difficulties.

The things he really liked we bonded over though. He loved comic books and RPGs. It was one area we had in common (and still do. I went to see Black Panther when it came out with him). It's probably because he's more like his mother and my daughter is more like me in many ways. That means he's far more handsome than I ever was, but he also has a stubborn streak and hates change. His mother thinks the opposite, that it may be that we are too much alike and so we both have slightly aggressive tendencies which conflict at times.

I try to show him that I love him though, the best I can. I've made plenty of mistakes though. I think there are many who have fathers that make mistakes, similar to what I have, but I think that for many of them, they have the same thoughts. We aren't perfect and have probably done some things that aren't all that great, but we are doing the best we can. WE still love them.

I do think it's important to discuss this type of stuff though. I know that I directly influenced my son in his RPG gaming. We literally are very different but for some reason he really enjoyed RPGs and it was an area where we could talk and bond over to a degree.

I think that there are many sons and fathers that have difficulties, but we are very loathe to talk about it or discuss it with others. Sometimes though, the best thing that we can do is to share our experiences with others so that they know what is a good thing to do and what is a terrible thing to do.

Update on the progress of 5e. So, he's taken the filebox with the 4e books out of storage and it's next to the shelf, but the 4e books are not on the shelf again. When I saw him this afternoon he told me he was going to play 5e, but he's not ready to DM yet so he's joining up with the weekly group playing 5e. He had already made a character and asked if it was okay. I said, well...let me see...normally I like characters being rolled up in front of me. He was afraid the stats were too high...so I took a look. He had a 12, 13, 13, 12, 14, 15. I said, the character was fine (and inwardly laughed that he was afraid that I would think he cheated on his rolls. It's low enough that I'm not too concerned, even if his stats do give a nice overall bonus). He created a Dragonborn Wizard and seems excited to join with the rest of us this week in our weekly game.

 

[AkaKageWarrior]

I play since AD&D 1st edition.
So 4e was the worst thing ever, drove us to Pathfinder.
A few of us back again to 5e (parallel to PF campaigns).
So what you did was for the greater good - from a point of view from a 4e despiser.
Which is very limited and selfish.

So I quote some people before me:
dick move, you were a jerk

I would add "stupid".

 

[jasper]

Evil? No.

Super-jerkish? Yes × 1,000.

Wrong kind sir. It is super jerkish x 9,000!

 

[DRF]

Looks like your love of 5e is only eclipsed by your love of ellipsis.

 

[Guest 6801328]

Is there an RPG where "Loser Douchebag" is an alignment?

Oh, wait...that's real life.

 

[Schmoe]

Based on just the OP, this was a hugely dickish move. But there's some vital information left out of the OP. Namely that you showed your son where his 4e books are and gave him agency to use them or not, you have already had multiple conversations about how people would prefer 5e, and you bought him a whole new set of books. Based on that, I think this is just a fine attempt to get him to understand how much you don't like it without just abandoning the 4e game altogether.

I think a lot of people in this thread are overreacting, probably based solely on the OP.

 

[CleverNickName]

I wouldn't say you are "evil," but you are clearly in voilation of Rule Zero.