D&D 5E So long and thanks for all the fish!
- Thread starter Thedip
- Start date
On background black, I saw some posting
Text red and green, words seeming floating
My straining eyes now feeling funny.
"3-D effect? My eyes now runny!"
I jest, I jest- no need recoiling
Continue please with flounces foiling.
Would I could continue lately.
But off I go to choir most stately.
Text red and green, words seeming floating
My straining eyes now feeling funny.
"3-D effect? My eyes now runny!"
I jest, I jest- no need recoiling
Continue please with flounces foiling.
Would I could continue lately.
But off I go to choir most stately.
BoldItalic
First Post
Thus the flounce were sore perplex'ed.
Should they let the people mingle?
Fon Cule ponder'd this most vex'ed
question: were they safer single?
"Let them meet and do it" quoth he.
"They are masters of the cosmos."
"We shall watch them from our eyrie"
"In the Oblong Mountains fastness."
BoldItalic
First Post
Thus it was that 'Nard and Sashi
Met at last, the plot to further.
Dress'd he was as Mistress Flossie,
She mistook him1 for her sister.
He, the outlaw wanted badly,
Could not tell her of his gender;
Thus although he lov'd her madly,
Ne're he said of passion tender.2
"Let us hie to yonder pasture,"
"There to milk the cattle," quoth she.
Gladly did he follow after,
Meanwhile casting Fog Cloud slyly.
1 He has +5 Performance and his roll of 14 beat her passive insight of 9, okay?
2 If Shakespeare can do it, so can I.
Met at last, the plot to further.
Dress'd he was as Mistress Flossie,
She mistook him1 for her sister.
He, the outlaw wanted badly,
Could not tell her of his gender;
Thus although he lov'd her madly,
Ne're he said of passion tender.2
"Let us hie to yonder pasture,"
"There to milk the cattle," quoth she.
Gladly did he follow after,
Meanwhile casting Fog Cloud slyly.
1 He has +5 Performance and his roll of 14 beat her passive insight of 9, okay?
2 If Shakespeare can do it, so can I.
Last edited:
rgoodbb
Adventurer
Just then, one of 'Nards wild magic explosions went off... FIREBALL targeted on himself
Now he was in play, Uncle Fo thought.
Sashi being a Way of the Chain Herder Monk performed a triple back flip to evade the incoming fire damage
The Flounce were right in the area of effect. two little know facts about the flounce were that first, they were fire resistant, and second they were all Flounce Totem Barbarians. Due to some sort of tides of wild chaos all the numbers rolled were 1.
...and they all made their save
8 damage reduced to 4 for saving
4 damage reduced by raging to 2
2 damage resisted to 1
"Thats it". Uncle Fo exclaimed in delight. "'Nard has used up all the explosive energy in this area. It has been cleansed. We need to move him to other parts of the world where he can save the earth."
"Uhm...Really"
"What?"
Sashi and 'Nard both realised that they could speak normally now that they were not near an area of destructive magic....
"Onwards. to meet the Oracle of wool"...........
Now he was in play, Uncle Fo thought.
Sashi being a Way of the Chain Herder Monk performed a triple back flip to evade the incoming fire damage
The Flounce were right in the area of effect. two little know facts about the flounce were that first, they were fire resistant, and second they were all Flounce Totem Barbarians. Due to some sort of tides of wild chaos all the numbers rolled were 1.
...and they all made their save
8 damage reduced to 4 for saving
4 damage reduced by raging to 2
2 damage resisted to 1
"Thats it". Uncle Fo exclaimed in delight. "'Nard has used up all the explosive energy in this area. It has been cleansed. We need to move him to other parts of the world where he can save the earth."
"Uhm...Really"
"What?"
Sashi and 'Nard both realised that they could speak normally now that they were not near an area of destructive magic....
"Onwards. to meet the Oracle of wool"...........
Lanefan
Victoria Rules
Rage-quit memo standing open
With the angst he isn't copin';
Words on screen that mostly mean
Around here he'll no more be seen
As none have listened to his pleas,
With what he posts no-one agrees -
And thus he words his final wish:
So long and thanks for all the fish.
But that my friends was just a start,
A trigger for the jokesters' art
When, far from being broken-hearted,
Someone got a party started
And soon this merry rag-tag band
Had walked and flown across the land,
Flounced their way all through this thread
To palm of face or smack of head.
Though [MENTION=6875555]Thedip[/MENTION] 's nowhere since been seen
His thread has got to page 19!
Lan-"May 18 2017"-efan
With the angst he isn't copin';
Words on screen that mostly mean
Around here he'll no more be seen
As none have listened to his pleas,
With what he posts no-one agrees -
And thus he words his final wish:
So long and thanks for all the fish.
But that my friends was just a start,
A trigger for the jokesters' art
When, far from being broken-hearted,
Someone got a party started
And soon this merry rag-tag band
Had walked and flown across the land,
Flounced their way all through this thread
To palm of face or smack of head.
Though [MENTION=6875555]Thedip[/MENTION] 's nowhere since been seen
His thread has got to page 19!
Lan-"May 18 2017"-efan
BoldItalic
First Post
Neu Floc nudged Ballnard pointedly in the ribs1 and nodded towards Sashi. "I think you owe the little lady an explanation," he suggested.
"You're not my sister Flossie, are you? Why did you pretend you were?"
Ballnard sighed. "I'm a sorcerer. I didn't want to be, I wanted to be a bard, look, I've even got the drum, but a few days ago this fey being calling itself UnderscoreStrikethrough uttered some sort of incantation in trochaic tetrameters and I haven't been the same since."
"That still doesn't explain the cross-dressing."
"There's a warrant out for me in Axefell. Long story. Duke Bignose couldn't take a joke. If I turn up in town wearing leather armour and a floppy hat, fingers will point and I'll be swinging from a lamppost by sundown."
"Hold on, sorcerers can't wear armor. It's in the rules. Everyone knows that."
"I got a feat. I'm a variant human."
"Variant human, eh? Well that explains the cross-dressing. It's okay. My mum is also my brother-in-law. Actually, you look quite good in a flouncey skirt but you're walking all wrong."
"Thanks for being a pal. Can we do this next bit of the thread together? I've a feeling we'll be heading up-country."
"We have a choice? Besides, it's time some more characters turned up. A ranger would do. I hope it's not a paladin though. They're so earnest."
"I know what you mean. It's all smite-smite-smite with them. They never stop to think it smightn't."
Flu Once nodded. This was all going according to plan. In a post or two they would meet Sir Earnest de Coverlet, a disgraced nobleman who flunked jousting and was reduced to taking a job as a hermit's receptionist. His hermit was on the cusp of making an amazing discovery involving dark energy and epistemological inexactitude but the equations were refusing to renormalise unless they got a pay rise and longer lunch breaks.
1 Flounce horns are quite sharp and pointy and, to avoid accidents in the dark, the flounce herders dye them bright yellow using the juice of a locally-grown fruit called a dilemma. It's called that, because it looks like two lemons fused together. There's a joke in there somewhere involving horns and dilemmas, but it's DC30 and I only rolled a 9. Sorry.
"You're not my sister Flossie, are you? Why did you pretend you were?"
Ballnard sighed. "I'm a sorcerer. I didn't want to be, I wanted to be a bard, look, I've even got the drum, but a few days ago this fey being calling itself UnderscoreStrikethrough uttered some sort of incantation in trochaic tetrameters and I haven't been the same since."
"That still doesn't explain the cross-dressing."
"There's a warrant out for me in Axefell. Long story. Duke Bignose couldn't take a joke. If I turn up in town wearing leather armour and a floppy hat, fingers will point and I'll be swinging from a lamppost by sundown."
"Hold on, sorcerers can't wear armor. It's in the rules. Everyone knows that."
"I got a feat. I'm a variant human."
"Variant human, eh? Well that explains the cross-dressing. It's okay. My mum is also my brother-in-law. Actually, you look quite good in a flouncey skirt but you're walking all wrong."
"Thanks for being a pal. Can we do this next bit of the thread together? I've a feeling we'll be heading up-country."
"We have a choice? Besides, it's time some more characters turned up. A ranger would do. I hope it's not a paladin though. They're so earnest."
"I know what you mean. It's all smite-smite-smite with them. They never stop to think it smightn't."
Flu Once nodded. This was all going according to plan. In a post or two they would meet Sir Earnest de Coverlet, a disgraced nobleman who flunked jousting and was reduced to taking a job as a hermit's receptionist. His hermit was on the cusp of making an amazing discovery involving dark energy and epistemological inexactitude but the equations were refusing to renormalise unless they got a pay rise and longer lunch breaks.
1 Flounce horns are quite sharp and pointy and, to avoid accidents in the dark, the flounce herders dye them bright yellow using the juice of a locally-grown fruit called a dilemma. It's called that, because it looks like two lemons fused together. There's a joke in there somewhere involving horns and dilemmas, but it's DC30 and I only rolled a 9. Sorry.
rgoodbb
Adventurer
Ever since Harriette the Earnest was disqualified in the regional harpoon catching competition finals, for catching a harpoon in her chest, her vocal sentences had to be formed of five syllables or less before having to gasp for a breath. At this point she would cast Gust into her lungs to re-inflate them.
The piercing harpoon (still stuck in her) did one good thing though: Harriette the Earnest discovered that she could absorb elements of any attack and shield others from harm. It was almost as if she had stone skin, a shield of faithful muscles if you like, that gave her some sort of protection from energy. Arrows were even drawn to her, “Just-lu-cky-I-guess……Whhhhhgust!” As she cast gust into herself, another five syllables spent.
Harriette was a Pa-Ran-La-Din-Ger a strange mix of two classes mentioned in a previous post. Luckily, one that she could pronounce with her limit of syllables.
She espied in the distance two humanoids and a large flagon of flounce trailing behind. They were strange creatures to look at with their long chins dragging along the floor and their luminous horns. The Paranladinger could see the essence of a dilemma approaching.
As they neared, she started the conversation.
"Nice heels"
"Thanks/Thanks" They both replied in unison.......
The piercing harpoon (still stuck in her) did one good thing though: Harriette the Earnest discovered that she could absorb elements of any attack and shield others from harm. It was almost as if she had stone skin, a shield of faithful muscles if you like, that gave her some sort of protection from energy. Arrows were even drawn to her, “Just-lu-cky-I-guess……Whhhhhgust!” As she cast gust into herself, another five syllables spent.
Harriette was a Pa-Ran-La-Din-Ger a strange mix of two classes mentioned in a previous post. Luckily, one that she could pronounce with her limit of syllables.
She espied in the distance two humanoids and a large flagon of flounce trailing behind. They were strange creatures to look at with their long chins dragging along the floor and their luminous horns. The Paranladinger could see the essence of a dilemma approaching.
As they neared, she started the conversation.
"Nice heels"
"Thanks/Thanks" They both replied in unison.......
Lanefan
Victoria Rules
It didn't take long for Harriette to realize that there had recently been a big-time combat between the two humanoids and the flagon of flounce in which the flounce had trounced them severely - the chins dragging on the floor was evidence enough of that - and for the first time in a long time she was glad of her speech issues, as five syllables at a time looked to be about all these two could handle.
"Dil-em-ma" she said, pointing at the two. Then, turning and pointing to the mountains in the north: "Prob-lem". Whhhh...gust!
"The mowntuns have a problem?" Ballnard tried to say, with great difficulty as for some reason he found himself unable to detach his chin from the floor.
"Ear-nest has prob-lem" (whhhh-gust!) she wheezed, again pointing to the mountains - more accurately, to a tiny plume of smoke arising therefrom.....
"Dil-em-ma" she said, pointing at the two. Then, turning and pointing to the mountains in the north: "Prob-lem". Whhhh...gust!
"The mowntuns have a problem?" Ballnard tried to say, with great difficulty as for some reason he found himself unable to detach his chin from the floor.
"Ear-nest has prob-lem" (whhhh-gust!) she wheezed, again pointing to the mountains - more accurately, to a tiny plume of smoke arising therefrom.....
rgoodbb
Adventurer
.......The smoke turned into clouds and the clouds slowly began to form into words.
"Always said Skywright was a bitchin spell, well worth that second level slot dude."
"Totally worth a second level slot dude. Maxed out.
"Yeah Gnarlatious dudes......Fwwwwugust!""
The three of them, slightly ahead of the Flagon of Flounces, realised that due to the warning signs of their changed voices, they had reached the cusp of another magically dangerous part of the world.
Uncle Fo trotted forward, his chin gathering earth as he did.
"That is Awsome dude! What level did you say that spell was again?"
As they were having this excellent conversation, the letters in the sky formed into three ominous words.............
"Always said Skywright was a bitchin spell, well worth that second level slot dude."
"Totally worth a second level slot dude. Maxed out.
"Yeah Gnarlatious dudes......Fwwwwugust!""
The three of them, slightly ahead of the Flagon of Flounces, realised that due to the warning signs of their changed voices, they had reached the cusp of another magically dangerous part of the world.
Uncle Fo trotted forward, his chin gathering earth as he did.
"That is Awsome dude! What level did you say that spell was again?"
As they were having this excellent conversation, the letters in the sky formed into three ominous words.............
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