Star Trek Quotes you wouldn't want to hear during sex

[Ranger REG]

"Sometimes pain can drive a man harder than pleasure" -- Kirk, TOS

"That's the wonderful thing about crayons ... they can take you to more places than a starship." -- Guinan, TNG.

"Why is any object we don't understand always called a 'thing'?" -- McCoy, TMP.

"Words come later. It is the scent that first speak of love." -- Worf, TNG.

"Now this isn't going to hurt a bit."
"That's what you said the last time."
"Did it hurt?"
"Yes."
-- McCoy to Chevok, TOS.

"How's the patient, Doctor?"
"He's gonna make it!"
"He? You came in with a she..."
"One little mistake..."
--McCoy, ST:TVH.

"I'm a doctor, not a doorstop." -- Enterprise-E EMH, ST:FC.

"I am a doctor, not a voyeur." -- Voyager EMH, VOY.

"Choose the word that best describe your pain. 'Burning,' 'throbbing,' 'piercing,' 'pinching,' 'biting,' 'stinging.' 'shooting,'..."
-- Voyager EMH, VOY.

"I'm a doctor, not a performer." -- Voyager EMH, VOY.

"Doctor, you are a sensualist."
"You bet your pointed ears I am."
--Spock to McCoy, TOS.

"Mister Kim ... at ease before you sprain something." -- Janeway, VOY.

"That's the way you respond to every situation, isn't it? If it doesn't work, hit it. If it's in your way, knock it down." Torres, VOY.

"She's got a worm in her belly? Oh, that's disgusting,. That's interesting, but that's disgusting." -- DS9.

"Tuvok ... has anyone ever told you ... you're a real freakasaurus?" -- Paris, VOY.

"I'm willing to explore my humanity. Take off your clothes." -- Seven of Nine, VOY.

"Traditionally, one crawls in head first." -- EMH, VOY.

"I'm going to sleep this off. Please let me know if there's some other way we can screw up tonight." -- Kirk, ST:TUC.

"I don't bite ... Well, that's wrong; I do bite." -- K'Ehleyr

"Not even a bite on the cheek for old time's sake? -- K'Ehleyr

"Who are you people? And what is that thing in your pants?" -- Rain, VOY.

"Well? What are you doing?"
"Enjoying myself?"
"Then show it."
--Torres to Paris, VOY.

"One of the first things a diplomat learns is not to stick his fingers where they don't belong."
-- T'Pol, ENT.

 

[Pbartender]

"Queen to Queen's level three? Queen to King's level one!"

 

[Bront]

"That's interesting, but that's disgusting"

"Traditionally, one crawls in head first."

"Who are you people? And what is that thing in your pants?"

THose 3 are fantastic.

 

[Xath]

"She's got a worm in her belly? Oh, that's disgusting,. That's interesting, but that's disgusting." -- DS9.

Probably my favorite episode of DS9.

 

[Michael Morris]

Heh heh

Link to the MP3

Star Trekkin'
By: The Firm

Star Trekkin' across the universe,
On the Starship Enterprise under Captain Kirk.
Star Trekkin' across the universe,
Boldly going forward 'cause we can't find reverse.

Lt. Uhura, report.
There's Klingons on the starboard bow, starboard bow, starboard bow;
there's Klingons on the starboard bow, starboard bow, Jim.

Analysis, Mr. Spock.
It's life, Jim, but not as we know it, not as we know it, not as we know it;
it's life, Jim, but not as we know it, not as we know it, Captain.

There's Klingons on the starboard bow, starboard bow, starboard bow;
there's Klingons on the starboard bow, starboard bow, Jim.

Star Trekkin' across the universe,
On the Starship Enterprise under Captain Kirk.
Star Trekkin' across the universe,
Boldly going forward, still can't find reverse.

Medical update, Dr. McCoy.
It's worse than that, he's dead, Jim, dead, Jim, dead, Jim;
it's worse than that, he's dead, Jim, dead, Jim, dead.

It's life, Jim, but not as we know it, not as we know it, not as we know it;
it's life, Jim, but not as we know it, not as we know it, Captain.

There's Klingons on the starboard bow, starboard bow, starboard bow;
there's Klingons on the starboard bow, starboard bow, Jim.

Starship Captain, James T. Kirk:
Ah! We come in peace, shoot to kill, shoot to kill, shoot to kill;
we come in peace, shoot to kill, shoot to kill, men.

It's worse than that, he's dead, Jim, dead, Jim, dead, Jim;
it's worse than that, he's dead, Jim, dead, Jim, dead.

Well, it's life, Jim, but not as we know it, not as we know it, not as we know it;
it's life, Jim, but not as we know it, not as we know it, Captain.

There's Klingons on the starboard bow, starboard bow, starboard bow;
there's Klingons on the starboard bow, scrape 'em off, Jim.

Star Trekkin' across the universe,
On the Starship Enterprise under Captain Kirk.
Star Trekkin' across the universe,
Boldly going forward, and things are getting worse!

Engine Room, Mr. Scott:
Ye cannot change the laws of physics, laws of physics, laws of physics;
ye cannot change the laws of physics, laws of physics, Jim.

Ah! We come in peace, shoot to kill, shoot to kill, shoot to kill;
we come in peace, shoot to kill; Scotty, beam me up!

It's worse than that, he's dead, Jim, dead, Jim, dead, Jim;
it's worse than that, he's dead, Jim, dead, Jim, dead.

Well, it's life, Jim, but not as we know it, not as we know it, not as we know it;
it's life, Jim, but not as we know it, not as we know it, Captain.

There's Klingons on the starboard bow, starboard bow, starboard bow;
there's Klingons on the starboard bow, starbord bow ahhhh!!

Ye cannot change the script Jim.
Och, #!*& Jimmy.

It's worse than that, it's physics, Jim.

Bridge to engine room, warp factor 9.

Och, if I give it any more she'll blow, Cap'n!

Star Trekkin' across the universe,
On the Starship Enterprise under Captain Kirk.
Star Trekkin' across the universe,
Boldly going forward 'cause we can't find reverse.
Star Trekkin' across the universe,
On the Starship Enterprise under Captain Kirk.
Star Trekkin' across the universe,
Boldly going forward, still can't find reverse.

 

[Angel Tarragon]

Heh heh

Link to the MP3

Star Trekkin'
By: The Firm

Hilarious! ROFL!!!!

 

[WayneLigon]

We should try reversing the polarity.
"Does everyone know about this grain but me?"
"If you prick me, do I not... leak?"
"I am not a merry man!"
"But I have no sexual desire..."
"Oh, I am sorry, Doctor. Were we having a good time?"


What you don't want to hear, from Dune
"My brother is coming, Baron!"

 

[Dannyalcatraz]

What you don't want to hear from Dr. Who

"Its bigger on the inside than it is on the outside..."

 

[Dannyalcatraz]

From Time Bandits:

"Don't touch it! Its evil!"

 

[Chimera]

"I've got to have thirty minutes!"

Ok so, I could handle that, but some guys...you know...