SNARFZODIACKILLER EPISODE 5 REVIEW
I CAME INTO THE EPISODE TOTALLY HEADBANGING FROM THE LAST ONE. I SWEAR ALL I COULD HEAR EVERY TIME I CLOSED MY EYES WAS THE PING PING PING OF SPACE SONAR. BUT PIKE'S POSSE HAD ME LIKE PUTTY. FLASH ME BACK TO THOSE RED VULCANIZED COMBAT TIRES BABY! FILL ME UP WITH ALL Y'ALLS T'PRINGS AND T'PAUS AND T'WUTS!!!!! AINT NO COMBAT LIKE A VULCAN COMBAT CUZ A VULCAN COMBAT DONT STOP!
UNTIL SOMEONE DIES. METAL!!!!!
SPOCK AMOK? DOES THAT RHYME? SPOCK AMOCK? SPUCK AMUCK? OH FU....
THIS WAS THE BREATHER I NEEDED. LIKE ALL AWESOME BANDS, YOU NEED TO BREAK UP THE AWESOME SPEED EAR BLEEDS WITH THE AWESOME BALLADS. ALSO ITS FOR THE CHICKS. AND FOR ME. AMOKING THE SPOCK WAS TOTALLY EVERY ROSE HAS A THORN. AND NOBODYS FOOL. AND NOVEMBER RAIN.
BUT IF THEY WERE ALL TOGETHER AND PLAYED BY METALLICA. I WAS HOLDING MY LIGHTER UP THE ENTIRE EPISODE. MY THUMB HURTS SO BAD.
BUT IT WAS TOTALLY WORTH IT, BECAUSE PIKE WAS ROCKING THE GREEN KIRK SMOCK. SMOCK, SPOCK. SPOCK, AMOK. AMOK SMOCK.
YOU KNOW THAT GREEN COLOR- MEANS THE CAPTAIN IS GOING ALL OFFICIAL AND SHIZNIT. NEEDS TO DIPLOMACY THE HELL OUT OF THE SITUATION. AND HE DID. PIKE KIRKED THE HELL OUT OF THOSE ALIENS. THEY NEVER HAD A CHANCE. THE FEDERATION ASSIMILATED THEM LIKE THEY WERE A PRE-WARP SPECIES ON THE BORG CHARCUTERIE PLATTER.
CRISIS.
AVERTED.
KIRK-STYLE.
TRUST IN THE HUNCH, CAPTAIN, TRUST IN THE HUNCH.
AND I HAVEN'T EVEN GOTTEN TO THE BODY SWAP. BUT YOU KNOW WHAT? WHO CARES? FREAKY VULCAN STUFF DOESN'T EVEN RATE WHEN NURSE CHAPEL IS SHIPPING SPOCK HARDER THAN FEDEX. AND CHAPEL LOVES SPOCK FOR BOTH BODIES SPOCK IS IN. CHAPEL PROBABLY WAS ALL LIKE, WHAT IF I PUT SPOCK IN BOTH BODIES AND IM THE FILLING IN A SPOCK SANDWICH? 'CUZ SPOCK CAN AMOK ME ANYTIME. UM, NURSE CHAPEL. SPOCK CAN AMOK CHAPEL.
......THATS JUST HOW A FREAKY DINGO EATS UR BABY.
OH YEAH. ENTERPRISE BINGO. COOL. YOU KNOW AT LEAST 2/3 OF THOSE ARE SOME VARIATIONS OF "SOMETHING SOMETHING TRANSPORTER INTERCOURSE." JUST LEAVE IT TO KILLFUN MYSTIQUE AND BABY KHAAAN TO IGNORE THE GOOD STUFF.
THEY DONT HAVE HOLDOECKS YET. I DONT WANT TO KNOW WHAT THE PERVS ON TNG DID FOR BINGO. PROBABLY OVERLOADED THE BIOFILTERS.
RATING: 7 "CAN YOU HEAR ME STEVENS" FROM CLEM FANDANGO