Stats for a pineapple?

[Krug]

Don't ask. 1d4/x2/20'? Of course, they also double up as 1/3 day rations...

 

[Azure Trance]

A dagger is d4. I'd say d2. Or the ubiquitous d4-3

 

[Krug]

A dagger is d4. I'd say d2. Or the ubiquitous d4-3

But has thou put this to scientific reasoning? I demand that you stab urself with a dagger and hit yourself with a pineapple multiple times. Only then can you make a competent scientific evaluation of the damage.

 

[Mordane76]

But has thou put this to scientific reasoning? I demand that you stab urself with a dagger and hit yourself with a pineapple multiple times. Only then can you make a competent scientific evaluation of the damage.

After enlisting a thousand starving college students, splitting them into four groups of 250. Each group is paired... one of the groups is given daggers, the other is given pineapples. Then the remaining groups are subjected to multiple attacks with the weapons of choice. A team of 12 researchers conducted the surveys following the administration of damage and the results are in...

Daggers hurt more.
Pineapples therefore should do a 1d2+Strength Bonus when wielded as melee weapons, and 1d2+ 1/2 Strength Bonus when thrown. Both times they should be treated as unproficient weapons for the purpose of attack...

 

[Krug]

After enlisting a thousand starving college students, splitting them into four groups of 250. Each group is paired... one of the groups is given daggers, the other is given pineapples. Then the remaining groups are subjected to multiple attacks with the weapons of choice. A team of 12 researchers conducted the surveys following the administration of damage and the results are in...

Daggers hurt more.
Pineapples therefore should do a 1d2+Strength Bonus when wielded as melee weapons, and 1d2+ 1/2 Strength Bonus when thrown. Both times they should be treated as unproficient weapons for the purpose of attack...

Pah... your research is flawed. I agree that daggers hurt slightly more, but I think pineapples do at least 1d3 damage, and 1d4 if sufficiently spikey. Furthermore, the gigantic spiky hawaiian version favoured by ogres and other large dumb folk SHOULD do at least 1d6 damage.

 

[Azure Trance]

Pah... your research is flawed.

Those college students DIED FOR NOTHING?!

I agree that daggers hurt slightly more, but I think pineapples do at least 1d3 damage, and 1d4 if sufficiently spikey. Furthermore, the gigantic spiky hawaiian version favoured by ogres and other large dumb folk SHOULD do at least 1d6 damage.

Spikey? Piercing damage? I'd say they should do Bludgeoning damage instead, as their not that pointy-all-over ...

 

[DarkElven]

This is obviously a case of confirmation bias at work. Why I've seen a hurled pineapple take down a grizzled warrior, (or was that a staggering drunk?) with a single toss.

We ought to use a double blind method for the next set.

I say we should recruit from the highschool and college FRESHMAN level.

 

[Mordane76]

Alright...

So -- we set up a screen between the groups. There are four conditions: real dagger, real pineapple, placebo dagger, and placebo pineapple...

The real items are obviously... real.
The placebos are made out of really bouncy rubber.


The person wielding the item is given a random object, selected from the four choices. He must then throw it down the pipe at the test subject, whose face he cannot see because of a screen.

A researcher will watch both the wielder and the subject as he is hit with the object. Separate records will be taken at each end, and the subject/wielder relation will be coded with a number.

We will use bruise size in diameter for the damage induced by the pineapples and penetration depth for the damage induced by the dagger. Then we will correlate these data into a chart to ascertain the damage induced so we can find a proper damage die type for the D&D application.

 

[Azure Trance]

Whatever the damage die would turn out to be, I would assume that a rock of the same size would be a damage die higher at least because it would have more mass ... which turns the question-

Don't ask.

But I must. A rock seems more useful, and can be found in places other then warm tropical climates.

 

[trentonjoe]

Ever since January, I have faithful avoided all posts form Krug because he beat my Jersey Jackalweres, the team of destiny, in the ENWorld fantasy football finals. However, I feel I must way in on this topic.

Pineapple have a range of only 10 feet. Being a 4th level Expert with maximum ranks and skill focus in profesion (waiter) I know, for a fact, double blind study or not, that after 10 feet a thrown pineapple suffers a to hit penalty.

Ofcourse, if you are human (and I am) and 4th level (again that's me) you get two more feats. Mine are weapon focus (breakfast fruit) and exotic weapon (exotic fruit) so I am dead nasty with such culinary delight.

Just wait for next year Krug when the Jackalweres come packin' with pineapple.