Stupidest things PCs/DMs have done

[Lalalei2001]

This was in GURPS: SPACE.

GM: After taking the lift up many floors of the megacorporation, you finally make your way into the office of the president, as you open the door you see him in his wheeled office chair looking at some papers. A nice panoramic view of the city is visible through the large windows directly behind him.

Player: "I tear in there and make a flying tackle at him."

GM: The rest of you stare in disbelief as he tackles the surprised president. They both crash into the window which shatters and their entangled bodies fly out the opening. You hear their shrieks as they hurtle towards the distant pavement.

 

[Thurbane]

Wow, the builders must have really scrimped on materials for those windows.

 

[STARP_Social_Officer]

This was in GURPS: SPACE.

GM: After taking the lift up many floors of the megacorporation, you finally make your way into the office of the president, as you open the door you see him in his wheeled office chair looking at some papers. A nice panoramic view of the city is visible through the large windows directly behind him.

Player: "I tear in there and make a flying tackle at him."

GM: The rest of you stare in disbelief as he tackles the surprised president. They both crash into the window which shatters and their entangled bodies fly out the opening. You hear their shrieks as they hurtle towards the distant pavement.

What the hell? That's like...I don't know what that's like.
::smacks player around the head over great distance::

 

[Slife]

I'm not sure if this is actually right for the "stupidest"; however, it is certainly the "unluckiest".
IN the middle of the game, the Elven Archer was insulted by another character by saying he couldn't hit the broadside of a barn. WHen one happened to present itself, the archer was going to prove that he could, in fact, hit it... and rolled a "1". He then attempted to shoot the ground, and rolled a "1" (although ,I still don't understand the need for the roll at that point.).

There's a trick where you can pretty much guarantee you'll miss the ground on a charge attack.

 

[Lalalei2001]

DM: You see a dimensional portal floating in front of you.

Paladin: Can I see the other side?

DM: No.

Paladin: I throw a rope through.

DM: Okay, it goes through, but the bit that intersects the portal kinda hangs there. You can push the rope further in, but it won't budge one inch back.

Mage: Its a one way portal!

Paladin: I stick my head through.

(stunned silence from around the table)

DM: Make a wisdom role.

*fail*

DM: *sigh* Okay, you stick you head through. You see a barren flame-scarred landscape. Large numbers of demon-like creatures have just spotted your newly appeared, floating head and are running towards you.

Paladin: I pull back.

DM: You can't... it's a one way portal.

 

[Lalalei2001]

My group and I had just gone down into a basement and fought an invisible thing (we were never told what it was).

So after scaring it off, one of the other players decides to look around.

Player1: I search for traps or secret doors.

Player2: It had a knife, I want to pick up the knife.

DM: Player1, you find a helmet sitting below the throne.

Player1: I put it on. *smirks at the rest of us* Hah, I finally have a helmet.

Me: *jokingly: Hah! It's a helmet of non-removal.

Well, I guess the guy didn't know that the DM is the only one who could say that. He starts running around screaming 'Get it off me! Get it off me!'

So he decides to call lightning to his own head to destroy the helmet. Player 1= fried and cripsy.

 

[Lalalei2001]

The party had previously found a Wand of Wonder, and learned that its activation word was 'Snigglefritz'.

In the course of trying to locate a group of orc raiders, they captured an orc scout after a tough fight that left most of the party at least moderately wounded. They decided it would be best to interrogate the prisoner to discover the location of the main body of orcs.

The orc, though, wasn't talking. So one of the PCs decided to try a little intimidation:

PC: (Points Wand of Wonder at orc) Alright, orc. Talk or I'll snigglefritz you!
DM (Me): Did you just say snigglefritz?
PC: Yup. Talk orc or it's snigglefritz time!
Other PCs: Oh no... Groan...
DM: Okay, roll a D100 to see what the wand does...

The result was a fireball which killed the orc, the interrogator, and 3 other party members outright, and horribly maimed 2 others.

The 2 survivors - both fighters who had a handful of HP between them - decided they should seek help at the pyramid ruins in the valley below. The orcs that were using the ruins as their HQ were verrry accommodating...

It was classic because if I'd have rolled the wand's effect, they would have accused me of fudging the result. Gotta love the WoW.

 

[STARP_Social_Officer]

Gotta love the WoW.

Or not.
Conversation heard in my campaign, about a PC's Rod of Wonder (it's a Rod now):
"Seriously, if you activate that thing within five hundred feet of me, I'll insert it in you pointy end first."
"Haha."
(pause)
"Wait...you were kidding, right?"
"I was not."

Classic.

 

[Lalalei2001]

A mage gets his hands on this ring of wishes, with one wish left in it. Now, the thing to remember is that our DM was really sly about wishes. The mage wished to be able to fly as fast as the fastest dragon. Wish granted. The catch? he couldn't stop.

Later, when I was playing a cool Necromancer, we came across this cool floating island with a castle on it. (long story involving a bag of beans.) But, it had no means of propulsion. I set up an arial drag net to see what we could catch; guess what we caught? This odd flying mage. We had our propulsion system at last! The catch? Our island couldn't stop, either. But at least it was slow enough that we could put it in a holding pattern.

 

[KrazyHades]

A mage gets his hands on this ring of wishes, with one wish left in it. Now, the thing to remember is that our DM was really sly about wishes. The mage wished to be able to fly as fast as the fastest dragon. Wish granted. The catch? he couldn't stop.

Later, when I was playing a cool Necromancer, we came across this cool floating island with a castle on it. (long story involving a bag of beans.) But, it had no means of propulsion. I set up an arial drag net to see what we could catch; guess what we caught? This odd flying mage. We had our propulsion system at last! The catch? Our island couldn't stop, either. But at least it was slow enough that we could put it in a holding pattern.

That's...just lovely *tears up*