Stupidest things PCs/DMs have done

[Kae'Yoss]

that is one dedicated roleplayer

That he is! The worst thing is that he can only occasionally join us, since he's studying medicine a couple hundred KM away and is only "home" every now and then.

 

[Lalalei2001]

We had found a genie and after watching the other players wish for things like being able to move at the speed of light, and then burning up from the friction when they try to move, or wanting to be a god, and having the god they worship destroy them for blasphemy...

I decided to try and get them back by saying "I wish none of this had ever happened!" The DM took this to the extreme and said "Wish granted, you feel a rushing sensation and everything around you moves backwards extremely quickly." I was thinking 'Great, it worked!'

Then he continued. "You suddenly pop out of existence".

I asked him what had happened. "You wished none of this had ever happened. The genie went back to the start of the universe and stopped it from happening. Well done, you've destroyed the universe! You could get a lot of XP for that if you still existed." Everyone fell about laughing except for me, who just sat there staring blankly at the table.

 

[shilsen]

We had found a genie and after watching the other players wish for things like being able to move at the speed of light, and then burning up from the friction when they try to move, or wanting to be a god, and having the god they worship destroy them for blasphemy...

I decided to try and get them back by saying "I wish none of this had ever happened!" The DM took this to the extreme and said "Wish granted, you feel a rushing sensation and everything around you moves backwards extremely quickly." I was thinking 'Great, it worked!'

Then he continued. "You suddenly pop out of existence".

I asked him what had happened. "You wished none of this had ever happened. The genie went back to the start of the universe and stopped it from happening. Well done, you've destroyed the universe! You could get a lot of XP for that if you still existed." Everyone fell about laughing except for me, who just sat there staring blankly at the table.

And again, we have a good example of Stupidest Things DMs Have Done

 

[Planeswalker Maloran]

The first game I ever ran, a player rolled high and spotted a concealed pit with a Darkness spell cast across the top of it. So he stuck his torch down into it to see what was below the darkness. Of course, its light didn't shine back up through the darkness... I would have expected him to then do the slightly stupid of sticking his head in with the torch to get a look, but no! He lowered himself down into the pit so he was hanging on the edge by his arms. Then he reached one arm (with the torch) down to light the inside of the pit, so he was hanging on by only one arm. THEN he slid down so he was only holding on with one HAND, so he could get his head below the darkness. Needless to say, he fell to his death.

Then in a campaign I was playing in, the party's thief was looting the body of a dead necromancer. It had a ring that wouldn't come off the finger it was on. He cut off the finger, and then the ring came off just fine. So he promptly put it on his own finger, and was surprised when it wouldn't come off... and more surprised still to find out that it was cursed! He paid the party's mage top dollar to cast Identify and find out EXACTLY what it did, though. ^_^

 

[Kae'Yoss]

Then he continued. "You suddenly pop out of existence".

So he just wanted to end the campaign and needed a scapegoat?

 

[vongarr]

I was running an Iron Heroes game, and I had set up a series of encounters leading to the bottom of an ancient temple where a small bronze tube was set on a podium. All throughout the temple there were various Fresco paintings detailing some ancient evil vanquished. The bronze tube was the key to this, if broken it would reawaken the sunken evil empire. I felt I made this pretty clear.

So once they left, there was an ambush by a few agents of this empire that weren't trapped underground. The PC who was holding the tube was cornered, and as a last act before she thought her life was over, she destroyed the tube. I was amazed. I asked her a few times "Are you sure?" while reminding her of the paintings. I even said that their attackers were those depicted in the Frescoes. She still did it. So the evil attackers smiled, and ran off. The few struggling centers of humanity were soon destroyed, and the world as they knew it was over.

Or at least that was what I said. That one act ended the campaign.

But to be honest, the PC was just naive. I was the stupid one. I have finally since learned to have a story driven game only if there is a stable group who wants that. Otherwise, it's killing the orcs and taking their stuff...I've had too much plot destroyed by wiped out parties and players moving.

But hey, that was what got me playing "normal" D&D again after two aborted non D&D campaigns.

 

[Slife]

I was running an Iron Heroes game, and I had set up a series of encounters leading to the bottom of an ancient temple where a small bronze tube was set on a podium. All throughout the temple there were various Fresco paintings detailing some ancient evil vanquished. The bronze tube was the key to this, if broken it would reawaken the sunken evil empire. I felt I made this pretty clear.

So once they left, there was an ambush by a few agents of this empire that weren't trapped underground. The PC who was holding the tube was cornered, and as a last act before she thought her life was over, she destroyed the tube. I was amazed. I asked her a few times "Are you sure?" while reminding her of the paintings. I even said that their attackers were those depicted in the Frescoes. She still did it. So the evil attackers smiled, and ran off. The few struggling centers of humanity were soon destroyed, and the world as they knew it was over

To be fair, it's not like the evil guys wouldn't have broken the tube themselves. I suspect the PC figured that there was a small chance of survival.

 

[JoeyD473]

Then in a campaign I was playing in, the party's thief was looting the body of a dead necromancer. It had a ring that wouldn't come off the finger it was on. He cut off the finger, and then the ring came off just fine. So he promptly put it on his own finger, and was surprised when it wouldn't come off... and more surprised still to find out that it was cursed! He paid the party's mage top dollar to cast Identify and find out EXACTLY what it did, though. ^_^

This is why my party casts detect magic on everything and if it is magical, before using it will cast identify on it

 

[Planeswalker Maloran]

This is why my party casts detect magic on everything and if it is magical, before using it will cast identify on it

Oh, he knew it was magic... but nobody with identify was around at the time, and he got impatient, and figured that if he put it on he'd figure out what it did on his own. This is a player who, IRL, has a Wisdom score somewhere between 3 and 7.

In another campaign I was running, there was a player whose characters kept getting killed by the party (or occasionally by himself). One of his characters was a yuan-ti ninja, and when he was being introduced to the party, he refused to tell them his name. The half-giant barbarian insisted he tell them, and he refused. The half-giant drew his greataxe threateningly, and demanded that he tell them his name. So the yuan-ti turned himself invisible and charged the half-giant... with a dagger. Of course, when he hit, he became visible again. The half-giant promptly killed him. The party's necromancer spoke to his spirit and he convinced the party to resurrect him (it probably only worked because the necromancer's player took pity on him) and he apologized, told them his name, and was allowed to join the party.

The next session, the group was in combat with a bunch of pseudonatural monsters. The PCs were scattered across the room, with the melee characters separately engaging groups of 2-3 enemies each. The druid decided to cast flame strike, but on whom? Each group of enemies contained at least one ally. So the player of the yuan-ti said, "Cast it on me; I have Evasion. With my Reflex save, I only need a 4 to make it." So the druid cast flame strike. The yuan-ti rolled a 2, and took roughly three times his hit point total in damage. They didn't resurrect him again.

Another of his characters was a slightly insane soulknife. The party had repeatedly been attacked by assailants from the future, and he eventually discovered their method of time-travel. Then he decided to sneak off when everyone else was asleep, go back in time, find himself in the past, and kill himself. "Why?" I asked him. He said that he didn't believe in time paradox, and was hoping that by creating said paradox he didn't believe in, he'd remove himself from the timestream and become a timeless immortal. I ruled that he did not become immortal, he simply died. The party woke up with no memory of him having ever existed, so he was not even immortalized in the memories of his friends.

A bit later on, they were exploring the tomb of a very Lovecraftian elder-god spawn, and a teleportation trap dropped them in the sarcophagus room. The sarcophagus was open, empty, and about 16 feet long. No exit from the room was visible. After translating the inscriptions on the walls, the necromancer concluded that the elder-spawn had been sleeping, rather than dead, and that it had been asleep so long that its dreams had become semi-pernament. Being closed in the sarcophagus would bodily transport a mortal into this dream realm. None of them had any teleport spells, and they figured they might get a clue from the elder-spawn's dreams that might help them escape. The necromancer guessed (correctly) that it would be wise to load up on Wisdom and saving throw buffs before climbing into the coffin, as they didn't know what other effects it might have.

As he was busy trying to figure out what to cast, the group's paladin decided to do the heroic/stupid thing and convinced the half-giant to help him into the sarcophagus and close the lid. He figured that his saves were decent, and the necromancer was more vital to the party than he was, so he climbed in and the half-giant closed it before the necromancer could stop him. He critically failed his Will save; permanently gaining 10 points of Int, losing 10 points of Wis, and becoming chaotic evil and insane. He also learned the way out of the room. The group subdued him and managed to get the info, and brought him back to town, where they did the most intelligent thing yet: they put a Helm of Reverse Alignment on him, and had someone cast Atonement. It worked, but he didn't want anything to do with the party after that ordeal.

Then the half-giant (Int 6) decided it would be a neat idea to go back by himself and climb into the sarcophagus. After all, the Paladin had come away with lots of dark and terrible knowledge, and knowledge is power! Power is what any half-giant barbarian/frenzied berserker wants, and Wisdom was a small price to pay for it. So he climbed in and--you guessed it--critically failed his Will save. He gained 10 Int and lost 10 Wis, but his Wis had been 8 or 9 to start with. He became a very intelligent but psychotically insane NPC puppet of the elder gods, and one of the fiercest opponents the party ever had to fight. (The player, incidentally, was very happy with this development.)

 

[Lalalei2001]

The group involved in this one included a fighter who was, well, "gifted". The player was actually playing the character like this on purpose, since he typically played the comic relief for the group, though in this instance he was the one who messed up.

This party had just entered a cavern that the DM had described as " an expansive, open-ceilinged cavern", and had spotted it's occupant: an adult red dragon, one that was clearly not happy to see them. The players, who were all around 5th level at the time, were supposed to have ended up doing a quest for him. That's when this player had a bright idea...

Player: Hey, how big is the tunnel we came in through?
DM: About 4' wide by 8' high.
Player: Are there any other exits in this cavern?
DM: No. Why?
Player (smiling): Alright, I draw my sword.
DM and other players: WHAT?
Player: There's no way an adult red dragon could have fit through that tunnel. It has to be an illusion!
DM (motioning for the others to be quiet): So why are you drawing your sword?
Player: If I take a swing at it, it should dispel the illusion.
DM: Okay, you draw your sword. (trying to give the player a subtle hint) You idly notice raindrops bouncing off of the blade.
Player (apparenly not getting it): Alright, now I rush at it!
DM (shrugs): Okay, you rush at the illusionary dragon, which swings an illusionary claw at you and illusionarily rips your head off. Your character sheet, please.
Player: WHAT? That can't happen! It was an illusion! There was NO WAY he could fit in here.
DM: Sure there is. He came in from above.
Player: Above?
DM: Yes, above. I told you it was an open-ceilinged cavern, right?
Player (after a long pause): It was?
DM (while the others nod their heads): Yep.
Player: Nooooo....

The dragon ended up letting the others go, since it was still laughing too hard to do anything else with them.