Stupidest things PCs/DMs have done

[STARP_Social_Officer]

Certain that his discipline of "Majesty" (a vampiric power preventing anyone from attacking you) would protect him from the six Assamites (vampire assassins) that were surrounding him, Lord Byrnn kicked their leader in the groin, forgetting that any aggression on his part would immediately nullify the effects of "Majesty."

I once had a player who did the same thing with Sanctuary.
Dork.

 

[Man in the Funny Hat]

Stupidest thing my players ever did was to botch up a great module from start to finish - Against the Cult of the Reptile God. The PC's arrive in town specifically having been called there to look into disappearances. They trace one disappearance to the local inn/tavern. The players don't seem to want to take any action AT ALL so I browbeat them into questioning some townspeople. They verify that a NUMBER of people have disappeared when they check into the inn. They go to the inn. The NPC's running the inn look and act highly suspicious.

The PC's decide to get rooms for the night - right at that inn. Breaking established practice several of them declare they will get rooms all by themselves. When I ask why they have no particular reason. Are they perhaps anticipating laying a trap? No. When I ask what these PC's do when they are alone in their rooms they tell me, "I'm SLEEPING of course." When I ask the PC's who are NOT rooming alone if they want to set up watches that night they say, "No."

So what happens? The cult members running the inn use the secret doors, silence spells, and overwhelming numbers to take one or more of the PC's captive. As I recall the one(s) sleeping alone were of course given the room(s) accessible by the secret hallway. Actually, I recall now that I just made it a TPC (total party capture) after giving them every break possible. They argued about the Silence spell actually MAKING them aware in their sleep that all the sounds (of 3am dead of night no less!) were suddenly absent. I let them make rolls to possibly wake up. Some of them made it. They all still succumbed to overwhelming numbers because they were all unarmed, unarmored (having been asleep), and NONE of them made any attempt to simply LEAVE the room or the area of effect of the silence to warn anyone else. They all just stood their ground at their bedside and fought until they were clubbed down.

They all had the gall to get angry at that point as if I was running a Kobayashi Maru scenario where there was intentionally no way to win. I ended the session right there and it still took me a week to calm down. They were just WILLFULLY being stupid. They'd never done it before or anything like it later but they just acted with outrageous, intentional ignorance as if nothing I'd said regarding the adventure, the suspicious NPC's, etc. actually meant anything. One of the most disappointing nights of gaming I've ever had.

 

[STARP_Social_Officer]

Sounds like my players. They've never been quite that dumb, but the one thing you can count of them to do is fight when they can't win. Then die. Then complain it's my fault.

 

[Lalalei2001]

I hate it when players are like that. But it does make for some pretty amusing stories afterwards

 

[Evilhalfling]

My players are fighting a battle against Ye Old unstoppable undead horde.
a withdraw plan fails and 4 of 6 are killed - not to worry they are Exarchs of a Sapphire dragon and they comback to life in the dragons lair. (as they knew would happen)

They are brought back at 0 hp, and several hours later thier druids and priests manage to get everyone to 1/2 hp.

The dragon starts asking them about how they will handle the horde the next time. One player breaks down and yells that she refuses to throw her life away against the undead, and during re-negociation another PC draws his sword and attacks thier Dragon mentor. No prep spells, Few remaining spells/abilities, at 1/2 hp in a small room. 2 rounds later 2 PCs are KO'd, one charmed and 1 burrowing away in the shape of a badger.

I was comfortable with them killing off the dragon - it just needed more thought.

We only have 1-2 more sessions in the campaign and are looking at making new characters.

 

[sniffles]

This party had just entered a cavern that the DM had described as " an expansive, open-ceilinged cavern", and had spotted it's occupant: an adult red dragon, one that was clearly not happy to see them. The players, who were all around 5th level at the time, were supposed to have ended up doing a quest for him. That's when this player had a bright idea...

Player: Hey, how big is the tunnel we came in through?
DM: About 4' wide by 8' high.
Player: Are there any other exits in this cavern?
DM: No. Why?
Player (smiling): Alright, I draw my sword.
DM and other players: WHAT?
Player: There's no way an adult red dragon could have fit through that tunnel. It has to be an illusion!
DM (motioning for the others to be quiet): So why are you drawing your sword?
Player: If I take a swing at it, it should dispel the illusion.
DM: Okay, you draw your sword. (trying to give the player a subtle hint) You idly notice raindrops bouncing off of the blade.
Player (apparenly not getting it): Alright, now I rush at it!
DM (shrugs): Okay, you rush at the illusionary dragon, which swings an illusionary claw at you and illusionarily rips your head off. Your character sheet, please.
Player: WHAT? That can't happen! It was an illusion! There was NO WAY he could fit in here.
DM: Sure there is. He came in from above.
Player: Above?
DM: Yes, above. I told you it was an open-ceilinged cavern, right?
Player (after a long pause): It was?
DM (while the others nod their heads): Yep.
Player: Nooooo....

The dragon ended up letting the others go, since it was still laughing too hard to do anything else with them.

I dunno - I've always thought it was sort of mean to penalize players for missing information.

But then again, maybe that will teach them to listen more carefully.

 

[STARP_Social_Officer]

My players are fighting a battle against Ye Old unstoppable undead horde.
a withdraw plan fails and 4 of 6 are killed - not to worry they are Exarchs of a Sapphire dragon and they comback to life in the dragons lair. (as they knew would happen)

They are brought back at 0 hp, and several hours later thier druids and priests manage to get everyone to 1/2 hp.

The dragon starts asking them about how they will handle the horde the next time. One player breaks down and yells that she refuses to throw her life away against the undead, and during re-negociation another PC draws his sword and attacks thier Dragon mentor. No prep spells, Few remaining spells/abilities, at 1/2 hp in a small room. 2 rounds later 2 PCs are KO'd, one charmed and 1 burrowing away in the shape of a badger.

I was comfortable with them killing off the dragon - it just needed more thought.

We only have 1-2 more sessions in the campaign and are looking at making new characters.

This seems to happen so often in my campaigns - not this specifically, but more a sort of trigger-happy recklessness. The first, second and third instinct is to attack. It drives me spare, especially when they get beaten up and then blame me.

 

[ceratitis]

Sounds like my players. They've never been quite that dumb, but the one thing you can count of them to do is fight when they can't win. Then die. Then complain it's my fault.

while i dont claim to be some uber smart group we are simply all too paranoid players to be so simply... though we will fight, to the bitter end and proudly die to defend this age old PC tradition!

 

[STARP_Social_Officer]

I still say the Head of Vecna story is the indisputable, hands-down winner. I don't think it's possible for anybody to ever be as stupid as those guys. I guess it just goes to show, you don't need a brain to play this game.

And I know I've said this before, but I sooo want to see Gygax post on this forum. He must have millions of these.

 

[Lalalei2001]

Yaeh, the Head of Vecna's a classic ^^ So is Eric and the gazebo.