Stupidest things PCs/DMs have done


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he's not a douche. he's good people. he just wanted to run a very specific game, i think, based on some comic he was reading at the time.

when the players came up with a rediculously different group than what his story was built for, he wanted to help us succeed in the game.

his inexperience and over-enthusiasm for the story as written (well, borrowed in this case) led him to make a mistake.

after that, i think that the game ran one more session, because the party went off on such a tangent (i think that we ended up in south america) that he wasn't able to get us around to his story short of a cutscene or something.
 

Ah..... yeah maybe douche was too strong, but personally, if the DM had us spend hours of time coming up with a PC then the first session decides they don't fit his mold and so he "fixes" them to his liking I'd be pretty pissed off. He should have said "here's a list of powers that the group must have" or "here's some pregens, fill in back-story's as appropriate".
 


I can't remember if I said this, but ...
We had a player who simply did not understand cause and effect.

Traveler:
He was piloting a ship. He saw a big red button. He pressed it. *BOOM*
(He did that twice)

Runequest(?):
He picked up what he thought was a wonderful magic item. He used it constantly (thought it didn't do much). He was two levels higher than me. He kept using the item. I became the same level as he. He kept using the item. I exceeded him by two levels. He kept using the item.

D&D:
We were exploring a dungeon where we discovered these little buttons with an image of a hand on them. We told him "it's a trap, don't pick them up, don't touch them, don't even look at them!" Three hours later, 2/3rds of the party is dead at the hands of the Hand (assassins). He, of course, lived.
 

My guys were trying to break into a goblin stronghold (at lvl 1). They picked the rogue who had some disguise ability and was a halfling and dressed him up as a female goblin with the idea to lull the goblin guard away from the entrance. They where all very excited and were roleplaying everything up well. The player then ran up to the goblin and opened his mouth to speak. It was at this time that I inquired to the character: "what languanges do you speak?". Unfortunately for him, goblin was not one of them! Much hilarity (is that a word) ensued as the player tried to roleplay a female goblin who could not understand anything the guard was saying and of course could not speak back. We still laugh about this encounter to this day. Was great fun.
 

he's not a douche. he's good people. he just wanted to run a very specific game, i think, based on some comic he was reading at the time.

Sounds to me like somebody who had never run a game before and had no clue how to do it. I won't condemn the GM - we were all newbies once - but it was certainly abysmal GMing.
 

We were playing the Goodman Games module, Cage of Delirium. In a hole underneath the haunted asylum, there is an undead corpse-hydra. Normally, the module gives this monster 12 heads that each attack and spit fire. Knowing how to play hydras properly, I knew that I would kill all the PCs with something that powerful. The action economy was in my favor. So I changed it to be 6 headed.

That didn't help, considering what they did.

Someone in the party fell through a hole in the floor, landing on top of a hill made of corpses. To rescue that comrade, the party lowered down a Duskblade class character, on a rope. The Duskblade grabbed the ally, but awakened the monster. They pulled up on the rope and got out just as all the heads breathed fire, which came roaring up through the hole and did some damage, but killed no one.

I assumed they would count their lucky stars, and either be done with it, or make an amazing plan of attack to execute when fully prepared.

Instead, the Duskblade says, "I'm going back in to take it out, lower me down." As the DM, I really question this, out loud. I'm asking if he's certain he wants to be lowered into the fire-breathing monster's lair. "Uh, yeah," he replies, "the rest of the group will find a way to get down and fight it in a few rounds."

I'm not the kind to reward very poor battle strategy. So I had the undead corpse-hydra remain unmoving among the piles of bodies. Readied action: strike when in range. The moment that the succulent Duskblade morsel was dangling near all 6 heads, I rolled my attacks, hit with 4, and killed the Duskblade instantly.

Utter disbelief from everyone at the table.
 

One of the players in the game with the undead corpse-hydra was looking to get into more D&D games. I play in a game with "Mean DM" from this forum and a few others, and I told him about the game. Very tactical, focus on minis & strategic combat. He was enthusiastic.

First night playing, we come across a bridge. Immediately, the whole party is wary, except for the new guy. We're all trying to figure out ways around without using the bridge. We don't even want to get near -- it would be soooo like our DM to throw a typical bridge troll at us, or have it explode apart while we're halfway across, or whatever.

We say this, out loud. New guy: "I spot for trolls!"

DM: "Yeah, actually you see one, standing off to the side of the bridge entryway."

The group groans.

New guy: "I do a full run to get within attack range."

DM: "Uh, a full run is not like a charge. You won't get an attack until the next round."

New guy: "I know, but let's get this started."

DM and every other player at the table: "By yourself??!?"

New guy: "It's just one round! You'll catch up! Let's get started!"

DM: "You race up into attack range. Troll #1 full attacks, hits with both claws for 15 hp damage, gets to do a rend for 15 more hp damage."

New guy: "Daaaaaaammmnn!"

DM: "Troll #2 takes a 5 foot step and..."

New guy: "Wait, what? Where'd he come from?"

DM: "Next to troll #1 -- out of the line of sight thanks to the angle of the bridge back when you were spotting from 120' away. Anyway, it also gets a full attack for... 32 more points."

Me: "You're dead, aren't you?"

New guy, shell-shocked: "Yeah."
 

First campaign in my life, MERP. After a fairly good idea to search for hidden tunnel where a stream exited a cave, we got a lot of very bad rolls. In terms of rolemaster it means not only that we didn't find anything, but that we're sure there's nothing to be found. Instead of thinking a way to roleplay our characters into trying it again, we decided to set off. Our DM thinking quick, figured an another way into the complex, and air vent. We somehow managed to screw this one up as well (I don't remember how specifically) and we ended up down in a strange, dark tunnel, injured and without most of our stuff. After an hour or so of wandering around, I produced a piece of parchment and a quill and begun to draw a map, based on turns we've made (yay for the well equipped and seeing in the darkness dwarf!).
Since we were fairly sure it was a maze, the sensible thing to do, would probably be to get some point of reference, or at least mark our way to see if we come back to some spots. But planning is for sissies, and we were making a map! After a lot of aimless wondering, I realized there were two major problems:
a) not all of the turns were 90 degrees
b) not all of the corridors were of same length.
Both of which the DM was trying to hint time and time again, better yet - with his patent "there's something very wrong" cheerfulness. And we figured it out only because one of the players was bored enough to roleplay some, um, basic routines, closely connected to eating. About 0.6 meter in straight line, in fact.

Saved by stepping in dung, we somehow found our way out, and even recovered the MacGuffin. Several sessions later, we left the complex by the exit at the cave, all nearly starved to death (which isn't easy to do with MERP iron rations. We spent quite a while there). We were so proud of ourselves, the DM didn't have the heart to tell us until a few months later, that it was supposed to be a quite short, introductory session. As in a single one :)
And then, we proceeded to boast in front of quest giving dwarven prince. As he was hostile after such glorious success (taking several weeks to get him what he needed within days), we sort of snapped, and were thrown out of the city. Our primary goal because of which we took the quest? To get into that city. Yay us!

And that's just what I can remember to be from this one, short campaign (I later noticed that I tended to fuse memories of other's screw-ups with this adventure). There literally was no part of it that we didn't manage to screw up in one way or another; even befriending a weasel for a pet was too much for us (OK, to be fair, that was me, again :blush:). But hey, at least it was a laugh :)
 

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