Teflon Billy's post-ENnie Haiku Contest. WIN TONS OF D20 STUFF

my haiku

here's my entry:
-----------------------
it's the oldest joke
"i attack the gazebo"
but we all still laugh
-----------------------

and a couple of others:

"that's not what it says
right here in the DMG"
damn I hate rule zero

you open the door
to see a huge red dragon
where are the cheetoh's?
 

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entry

Here's my submission... hope you like it!


If we're allowed titles, the title is:
"An Uruk-haiku"

Twisted metal horn.
Early morning bugle call.
Friends smash horn to bits.
 

Ok, entry time, with a comic twist:

Jesus wept, a trap,
But saints preserve! Jesus saves,
and takes half damage


Or in the more traditional flavor:

Flame, dancing fire,
fills hall, cherry-blossom red,
but lightning, does bounce



Kubla Khan
 




I could not decide on entering the first or second one, they were both my favorites. I included the others for fun

----Dice Ettiquette----
Twenty-Eight? Cheater!
Last time you called blue as high!
Should be eighty-two!

A Fiendish Dire Horse?
I suppose I could ride it
Ouch! Perhaps I can’t

Half Orc bard I see
Charisma could be higher
Made up by brute strength

Fireball So Handy
Except in Close Combat- Whoops!
Should Have Used Lightning

---Chaotic Neutral---
Madman? I think not
Criminal, Outlaw, Thief? Yes!
Likes breaking the law

The Dungeon Master
You Befriend him for treasure
Hate him when you die!
 

Rangers front-loaded? Do tell.

Into the forest
One more year of this then I
will backstab ogres
 
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Wulf I'm still laughing at your Haiku - truly inspired (although it really should have been 'this alignment is so kewl')

Anyway my offering goes something like:

Delay my attack
Let cleavable foes surround
Hope I don't fumble.
 

Dice, my precious dice
My lucky d20 shines
Touch it and you die.

I touched the button
And my evil DM smiled
Oh the agony

My party now wanders
Our mapper smoulders like dry leaves
Where, oh where, are we?
 

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