WASDHammer
Explorer
I'm pretty new to playing D&D, but just had my first "Critical Role-ish" level of epic gameplay. It was fun as hell, but for us, completely born out of a decision so utterly idiotic and bereft of common sense, that the outcome had no business being as amazing as it was. So that got me thinking of how many other stories are out there of people make colossally stupid in-game decisions, only to have it turn out incredibly well?
For us, my newly minted Conquest Paladin and fellow band of level 3 adventurers, fresh off of our triumphant battle against a horde of twig blights (to give some flavor of the caliber of threats were accustomed to experiencing), decided to take on a random quest in town. This one started out simple - to intimidate a rival competitor of the local town blacksmith, who the blacksmith accused of being a vampire even through the rest of the town widely knew this claim to be false.
So we ventured to competitor's home, decked out in a clear gothic motif, and after a couple of Eyes of the Grave & Divine Senses for good measure, confirmed that this rival was in fact, not a vampire. He only really liked gothic stylings. After returning to the blacksmith, who refused to pay us for our time, we dragged him to the rival's home to prove his folly once and for all. I and a single team mate were invited inside and led up to the rival's main chamber, a well lit room, with ample sunlight shining through the floor to ceiling windows. We confessed to the rival the reason for our visit, and after much exasperation, the rival shared his frustration with the continued abuse at the hands of the local blacksmith. As we chatted with the rival, the DM started dropping overt comments. Things like "yes he's very friendly, but he LOOKS like a vampire", and "I feel bad for him too, but did I mention that he REALLY looks like a vampire". As we were led out of the chamber, only after buying two swords from the rival, I randomly decided to turn and douse him with holy water as final proof point for the blacksmith...only to hear the sound of sizzling and burning skin.
As the room's illusion faded leaving us in a pitch black chamber (and me as a human with no darkvision), the DM just facepalmed and shook his head as we exclaimed "Wait, he really IS a VAMPIRE? Oh sh*t!".
At this point, my partner and I were left with two apparently equally impossible decisions...
Of course, we chose..."we got this!". As my partner ran to find the other party members, I squared to take on the Vampire (CR 13, XP 10,000). Alone. In the dark. The party did arrive in time, but if the sheer stupidity of our (my) decision wasn't obvious enough out of the gate, it should have been made clear when on it's first bite of its first successful attack, it outright killed our Warlock (with our DM shaking his head the entire time). Of course, we responded in true Monty Python fashion ("T'is but a flesh wound!"). Yet over the course many rounds, something strange happened. With the help a few strategically placed smites, Protection Against Evil and Good spells, and copious amounts of luck...we didn't actually die. Well that's not true, three of our party did. But we miraculously didn't TPK and actually defeated the Vampire on a last ditch smite/firebreath/silver arrow 1-2-3 combo.
After revivifying our fallen members at the local cleric (using funds from the coffers of the Vampire), our DM was in such utter surprise that he actually had to end the session early because he hadn't yet fully planned out what to do in this case, since "no one in their right mind should have thought to do what we decided to do".
In any case, I'm sure that I did not do the session justice in my retelling here, but I hope that it ends up being a good read and inspires others to share their stories, because I would love to hear if others had similar experiences of epic fails turned into epic stories.
For us, my newly minted Conquest Paladin and fellow band of level 3 adventurers, fresh off of our triumphant battle against a horde of twig blights (to give some flavor of the caliber of threats were accustomed to experiencing), decided to take on a random quest in town. This one started out simple - to intimidate a rival competitor of the local town blacksmith, who the blacksmith accused of being a vampire even through the rest of the town widely knew this claim to be false.
So we ventured to competitor's home, decked out in a clear gothic motif, and after a couple of Eyes of the Grave & Divine Senses for good measure, confirmed that this rival was in fact, not a vampire. He only really liked gothic stylings. After returning to the blacksmith, who refused to pay us for our time, we dragged him to the rival's home to prove his folly once and for all. I and a single team mate were invited inside and led up to the rival's main chamber, a well lit room, with ample sunlight shining through the floor to ceiling windows. We confessed to the rival the reason for our visit, and after much exasperation, the rival shared his frustration with the continued abuse at the hands of the local blacksmith. As we chatted with the rival, the DM started dropping overt comments. Things like "yes he's very friendly, but he LOOKS like a vampire", and "I feel bad for him too, but did I mention that he REALLY looks like a vampire". As we were led out of the chamber, only after buying two swords from the rival, I randomly decided to turn and douse him with holy water as final proof point for the blacksmith...only to hear the sound of sizzling and burning skin.
As the room's illusion faded leaving us in a pitch black chamber (and me as a human with no darkvision), the DM just facepalmed and shook his head as we exclaimed "Wait, he really IS a VAMPIRE? Oh sh*t!".
At this point, my partner and I were left with two apparently equally impossible decisions...

Of course, we chose..."we got this!". As my partner ran to find the other party members, I squared to take on the Vampire (CR 13, XP 10,000). Alone. In the dark. The party did arrive in time, but if the sheer stupidity of our (my) decision wasn't obvious enough out of the gate, it should have been made clear when on it's first bite of its first successful attack, it outright killed our Warlock (with our DM shaking his head the entire time). Of course, we responded in true Monty Python fashion ("T'is but a flesh wound!"). Yet over the course many rounds, something strange happened. With the help a few strategically placed smites, Protection Against Evil and Good spells, and copious amounts of luck...we didn't actually die. Well that's not true, three of our party did. But we miraculously didn't TPK and actually defeated the Vampire on a last ditch smite/firebreath/silver arrow 1-2-3 combo.
After revivifying our fallen members at the local cleric (using funds from the coffers of the Vampire), our DM was in such utter surprise that he actually had to end the session early because he hadn't yet fully planned out what to do in this case, since "no one in their right mind should have thought to do what we decided to do".
In any case, I'm sure that I did not do the session justice in my retelling here, but I hope that it ends up being a good read and inspires others to share their stories, because I would love to hear if others had similar experiences of epic fails turned into epic stories.