The Continuing Tales From The Old Bald One-Eyed Salty Red Dog Tavern!

[Lord_Raven88]

Touching the word Kält doesn't seem to do anything, but touching the down arrow does indeed zoom in on the dot. The view zooms until it looks like it shows about a ten foot diameter area.

Stratching his head in momentary confusion, the capuchin stares at the magical scroll for a few seconds in indecision.

Making excited monkey noises the capuchin reaches over and presses on the top arrow, causing the drawings on the scroll to get smaller, all the while staring intently at the scroll obviously looking for something.

[sblock=Lazlow]The monkey is waiting to see if any other dots appear on the map. If he does see any further dots he'll still carry zooming out to make sure that he doesn't miss any other important details.[/sblock]

 

[Lazlow]

With squeaks and chitters the monkey plays with the map. It zooms out quite a ways, and all who can see the map can see most of the nearby lake and the mining pits to the east, but the zooming stops before the entire body of water is shown.

[sblock=Lord Raven]No other dots appear on the map.[/sblock]

[sblock=DrZombie]Rücksetzen means 'reset', I think. I had to use an online translator for that, which aren't always reliable. The only 'reset' I could find in my German books was specifically for clocks (uhm umstellen), and I didn't want to overly confuse (since there's no clock of any kind on the map).[/sblock]

 

[DrZombie]

"Allright, Lads and ladies. I suggest a fine night of eating and drinking, followed by exploration and the promise of violence tomorrow."

Gruaamsh gats back inside, sits down and orders five pints of beer.
"Oh, and give my friends something to drink as well."

 

[Lord_Raven88]

Taking up a position on Gruaamsh's shoulder the capuchin makes occasional pleading noises to beg the odd sup of beer.

Pulling out a small set of pan pipes from out of his satchel the monkey begins to play a rowdy tavern song for the enjoyment of all.

OOC: Takes 10 on Perform (Wind Instruments) +2

 

[Lazlow]

Muirna and Sunderkeg are more than happy to provide the fine eats and drinks, and the usual dull roar of a normal evening is a bit different tonight thanks to an amazing pan flute performance by an ever-surprisingly talented monkey. Gruammsh wins enough drinking contests and friendly arm wrestling matches to keep him and his companions well-watered and fed all night. Even Wystan's fashion-plate-in-arms, the enchanting seamstress Carlotta, stops in for a nightcap and another round of double-entendre-laden flirting with the elven warrior tailor.

Eventually the night and the crowd wear thin, and our heroes wake up in various places and positions in the main room of the tavern, Sunderkeg not having the heart nor the strength to shoo his best customers out and back to their hotel.

As the mighty half-orc wakes, he lifts his head from the table on which he was dozing, and the snoozing monkey that was previously curled up on top of his head falls with a soft thud onto the table - or rather, onto the map scroll that Gruammsh fell asleep studying. The perplexed primate stands, stretches, and yawns, and in doing so, just happens to step on the one part of the map they hadn't messed with the night before ( :\ ), the word "Rucksetzen".

The view on the map zooms in and out, turns a full 360 degrees, then slowly settles in on the flashing blue dot. It blinks with a slow, rhythmic pulse - keeping in time with the now pulsing word "Kalt".

A small arrow has appeared next to the blue dot on the map, pointing east.

 

[DrZombie]

Gruaamsh takes out his battered horn and makes an attempt to sound it, unvoluntarily creating the sound of a flatulent giant who has recently consumed a vast amount of bean porridge.

"C'mon lads, we march EAST."

 

[Lord_Raven88]

Muirna and Sunderkeg are more than happy to provide the fine eats and drinks, and the usual dull roar of a normal evening is a bit different tonight thanks to an amazing pan flute performance by an ever-surprisingly talented monkey. Gruammsh wins enough drinking contests and friendly arm wrestling matches to keep him and his companions well-watered and fed all night. Even Wystan's fashion-plate-in-arms, the enchanting seamstress Carlotta, stops in for a nightcap and another round of double-entendre-laden flirting with the elven warrior tailor.

Eventually the night and the crowd wear thin, and our heroes wake up in various places and positions in the main room of the tavern, Sunderkeg not having the heart nor the strength to shoo his best customers out and back to their hotel.

As the mighty half-orc wakes, he lifts his head from the table on which he was dozing, and the snoozing monkey that was previously curled up on top of his head falls with a soft thud onto the table - or rather, onto the map scroll that Gruammsh fell asleep studying. The perplexed primate stands, stretches, and yawns, and in doing so, just happens to step on the one part of the map they hadn't messed with the night before ( :\ ), the word "Rucksetzen".

The view on the map zooms in and out, turns a full 360 degrees, then slowly settles in on the flashing blue dot. It blinks with a slow, rhythmic pulse - keeping in time with the now pulsing word "Kalt".

A small arrow has appeared next to the blue dot on the map, pointing east.

Looking worse for wear as he was rudely dumped from his cosy bed the capuchin gets to his feet and glances down at the scroll at his feet and notices the pointing arrow.

Puffing out his chest in obvious pride he grins widely and swaggers amongst his companions waking any who failed to miss his discovery.

 

[Wystan]

Ranti awaks, notices the monkey strutting and quickly takes the map from him so as to make sure that he does not piss on it. After which he drinks the remainder of the drink on front of him and prepares himself.
"Now, morning has broken and we should be upon our way. We have little to do and much time in which to do it. Scratch that, reverse it. We need to determine which of us is hale and healthy and willing to do that which Mr. Sherriff, walking zombie, lord and master, drooly boy, berzerker, dim candle Bill requested we do. I for one would glady take Gruumsh and the monkey and perform the duty on our own."
Ranti turns towards the bar and....
"My good waitress, we require strong ale and oatmeal for breakfast for the large gentleman, some fruits and such for the smaller primate, and a glass of wine and a bowl of greens for myself. We will also require 5 wineskins filled with FRESH wine, 5 days worth of fresh Green Vegetables, a small cooking pot, 5 days worth of oatmeal, 2 bottles of your fine (sort of) elven wine, and a selection of fruits and vegetables for the monkey as well."
Turning back to his companions...
"SO, who is with us?"

 

[Lord_Raven88]

Ranti awaks, notices the monkey strutting and quickly takes the map from him so as to make sure that he does not piss on it. After which he drinks the remainder of the drink on front of him and prepares himself.
"Now, morning has broken and we should be upon our way. We have little to do and much time in which to do it. Scratch that, reverse it. We need to determine which of us is hale and healthy and willing to do that which Mr. Sherriff, walking zombie, lord and master, drooly boy, berzerker, dim candle Bill requested we do. I for one would glady take Gruumsh and the monkey and perform the duty on our own."
Ranti turns towards the bar and....
"My good waitress, we require strong ale and oatmeal for breakfast for the large gentleman, some fruits and such for the smaller primate, and a glass of wine and a bowl of greens for myself. We will also require 5 wineskins filled with FRESH wine, 5 days worth of fresh Green Vegetables, a small cooking pot, 5 days worth of oatmeal, 2 bottles of your fine (sort of) elven wine, and a selection of fruits and vegetables for the monkey as well."
Turning back to his companions...
"SO, who is with us?"

Annoyed at first that Ranti snatched the scroll out of hand the capuchin's disposition soon changes at the thought of a bit of excitement and adventure, never mind that he doesn't actually know what this quest is all about, it's sure to bring an opportunity for two of Infernus' favourite past-times, mayhem and fire.

Jumping up and down in excitement Infernus raises his hand in obvious acceptance of Ranti's offer "Ooh, ooh ooh"

 

[Lazlow]

Ranti turns towards the bar and....
"My good waitress, we require strong ale and oatmeal for breakfast for the large gentleman, some fruits and such for the smaller primate, and a glass of wine and a bowl of greens for myself. We will also require 5 wineskins filled with FRESH wine, 5 days worth of fresh Green Vegetables, a small cooking pot, 5 days worth of oatmeal, 2 bottles of your fine (sort of) elven wine, and a selection of fruits and vegetables for the monkey as well."

"Got it!" Muirna says cheerfully. She heads towards the back, and just before disappearing through the door, stops and asks, "I take it this will all be on Mister Bill's tab?" She waits a moment before answering her own question. "Ah, but of course it is. Won't be but a moment."

Sure enough, moments later Muirna returns with trays laden with ale and oatmeal, fruits and veggies, and wine and greens. While you eat, she returns with a couple crates of supplies: wineskins, more green vegetables, a pot, a clay jar full of (dry) oatmeal, two fine (sort of) looking bottles of elven wine, and a large burlap sack full of more fruits and vegetables.
"Enjoy!"

You load up your supplies as best you can between the four of you (the monkey and Bill obviously not lending much help, there), but Muirna offers to give you an old wheelbarrow that was gathering dust and weeds out back to use in hauling Bill's drooling carcass around if you like.

You set out East, and, as expected, the arrow keeps pointing in that direction. The morning passes surprisingly uneventfully, and before you know it you're standing at the edge of the Lizard's Pit itself: The old abandoned pit mine that put Lizard Spit on the map. The cart path winds down and around the outer edge of the pit, leading toward the center, which is fairly dark, but you can just make out the remnants of a mine shaft at the end of the road.

[sblock=OOC]Let me know if you want to do/buy anything before you head out and we'll fit it in.[/sblock]

 

[DrZombie]

"Right-O. A dungeon. That's what it boils down to. Good. Our reverend Leader will, as allways, take point, nodoubt."

The half-orc points BB in the right direction, and prods him along to test the corridor for traps.

 

[Wystan]

Ranti moves behind Bill and uses him as a human shield whilst pointing him in the correct direction.
"Come mates...and monkey...we have a before us an adventure of epic proportions. We need to...we have to...umm, what are we supposed to do in there?"
Ranti turns to Grummsh and...
"My good sir, does the map give any hint as to what we are actually supposed to be looking for in yon cave? I mean, even GrackleSmackel, the blind god of architecture, would have given his builders more information than we have to go on. We know that we and out semi-animate leader...along with a lower order primate...must perforce adventure into said gaping maw of mining before us, but we know not what we seek ...other than riches, fame, and glory."

 

[Lord_Raven88]

Cackling in obvious delight over the rough treatment of Berserker Bill, the capuchin who is currently resting on the half orcs shoulder peeks around from behind the safety (and cover)of the fearsome demon mask.

Concentrating for a split second a glowing shaft of angry red energy appears in his right hand and seems to grow from it's initial small size until it is equal in length to the monkey all the while it emits a low pitched humming noise . Moving it experimentally to and fro the sound from the glowing blade changes from a gentle hum to more sinister sound at it slices thru the air.

Apparently satisfied with the result, the blade suddenly contracts from the tip and disappears into the monkey's tiny hand. Conjuring his most innocent smile possible the capuchin shrugs his shoulders slightly and stares boldly into the eyes of his surprised companions and spits out a smug sounding "eek" in way of explanation.

OOC: For thematic purposes Infernus' mind blade makes the same noises as a light saber. Also Infernus changed his MB from the size of a Short Sword to a Bastard Sword and charged it with psionic energy.

 

[DrZombie]

"My good sir, does the map give any hint as to what we are actually supposed to be looking for in yon cave? I mean, even GrackleSmackel, the blind god of architecture, would have given his builders more information than we have to go on. We know that we and out semi-animate leader...along with a lower order primate...must perforce adventure into said gaping maw of mining before us, but we know not what we seek ...other than riches, fame, and glory."[/color]

"How do you mean, other than riches, fame and glory? We'll smite the ungodly, rid the world of evil, and have a good chance to kick some arse. Do we need another reason?" The half-orc says. He sticks another cigar in his mouth takes the monkey by the arm and lights up using the glowing mind-blade.

 

[Lord_Raven88]

Ranti moves behind Bill and uses him as a human shield whilst pointing him in the correct direction.
"Come mates...and monkey...we have a before us an adventure of epic proportions. We need to...we have to...umm, what are we supposed to do in there?"
Ranti turns to Grummsh and...
"My good sir, does the map give any hint as to what we are actually supposed to be looking for in yon cave? I mean, even GrackleSmackel, the blind god of architecture, would have given his builders more information than we have to go on. We know that we and out semi-animate leader...along with a lower order primate...must perforce adventure into said gaping maw of mining before us, but we know not what we seek ...other than riches, fame, and glory."

Seeming to take great offense at being called a 'lower order primate' the capuchin chatters angrily at Ranti while performing a multitude of obscene gestures with his hand and body.

Finishing with a flourish the angry looking monkey opens up the Half Orcs backpack, and after helping himself to some beef jerky he pulls out the map and unrolls it. Glaring at the elf the capuchin reaches out at touches the symbol that causes the map to zoom in on their position.

 

[Lazlow]

"My good sir, does the map give any hint as to what we are actually supposed to be looking for in yon cave? I mean, even GrackleSmackel, the blind god of architecture, would have given his builders more information than we have to go on. We know that we and out semi-animate leader...along with a lower order primate...must perforce adventure into said gaping maw of mining before us, but we know not what we seek ...other than riches, fame, and glory."

Suddenly, as if handed down by an omnipresent, omniscient entity controlling the world as he knew it, the elven warrior remembers that they were hired to find the Chromium Orb of Frobozz, an artifact of legendary power, and further remembers that Berserker Bill had mentioned that he thought it was somewhere near the vicinity of Lizard Spit.

The map zooms in at the monkey's touch, showing a zoomed in view of the mine and the entrance outside of which they now stand. Nothing much else of interest appears, but as the trio peer inside, pushing the barely responsive husk of Berserker Bill along in front of them, they see words on the wall, inscribed in the very rock of the mine shaft that read:

ABANDON SOAP
ALL YE WHO ENTER HERE

[sblock=OOC for all] My apologies for the glacial pace of this game, but RL things are increasingly devouring my time: An upcoming move to another state is in the works, which is being prompted by an upheaval of sorts at work. But, as long as you guys don't mind this very slow pace, I don't. I'm still really enjoying it, even if this font of comedic adventure comes in just a bare trickle. So, again, my apologies, but also my deepest, heartfelt thanks for your nigh-infinite patience![/sblock]

 

[Gray Shade]

Berserker Bill suddenly stiffens and without moving his gaze from straight ahead, shouts, “You’re each a deputy: don’t be a dope, watch out for the soap!” *droooooool*

He then relaxes and resumes "finding traps".

 

[Lord_Raven88]

With a concerned look on his cute monkey face the capuchin returns to his home away from (The Half Orc's backpack) and begin searching for any sign of this devilish soap.

 

[DrZombie]

The half-Orc glares menicingly at his compagnions as if daring anyone to show even a hint of a smile as the capucin removes, in random order, from the backpack of the mighty warrior, a purple, flowery smelling shampoo, a conditioner, an afterconditioner, two kinds of facial soap, a bottle of soap for the sensetive bits, a bottle of aftershave, an aftershave cream, a nightmask and something which you hope is brilliantine but you fear is vaseline.

"Put that back. Eeeuhrm. I brought that 'cause i suspected they might be up to the old 'abandon soap' trick. I saw that once before. Dirty buisiness that was, I can tell ya. All manner of filthy beast lived yonder. But we cleaned the place out, we did."

 

[Lord_Raven88]

The half-Orc glares menicingly at his compagnions as if daring anyone to show even a hint of a smile as the capucin removes, in random order, from the backpack of the mighty warrior, a purple, flowery smelling shampoo, a conditioner, an afterconditioner, two kinds of facial soap, a bottle of soap for the sensetive bits, a bottle of aftershave, an aftershave cream, a nightmask and something which you hope is brilliantine but you fear is vaseline.

"Put that back. Eeeuhrm. I brought that 'cause i suspected they might be up to the old 'abandon soap' trick. I saw that once before. Dirty buisiness that was, I can tell ya. All manner of filthy beast lived yonder. But we cleaned the place out, we did."

Shrugging slightly at the strange ways of his companions the capuchin puts away the offending products and then returns to his home away from home wearing the Half Orcs night mask for a well deserved kip.

This adventuring lifestyle was proving to be harder than Infernus has first imagined.