The Continuing Tales From The Old Bald One-Eyed Salty Red Dog Tavern!

Lord_Raven88

Villager
DrZombie said:
"Well, unless monkey boy there starts to cleanMY HELMET , it'll be monkey stewed in it's own juice for me, I reckon" Gruaams says, smiling evilly 'round his cigar.
Hearing the sharp tone in Gruaams words, the capuchin looks at the imposing Half Orc with a look on his face that appears to be trying to be a cute animal smile, but comes across as more of an apprehensive grimace that appears to be frozen on his face.

Struggling to carry on bathing with a feigned nonchalance, the capuchin continues to clean himself vigorously under the watchful eye of Gruaam. As he continue to bath, water slops over the side and thru the holes of the helm. Washing away all sign of his nervous bladders emission.

Drying himself the capuchin tips the remaining water from the helm back into the cup, wipes up any spillage on the table and then carries the helm over to the fire to dry. Returning to the group, the nervous looking animal climbs up Gruaam chair and perches gingerly on his shoulder and begins to groom the fierce warriors hair.
 
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DrZombie

Villager
Gruaams takes out a new cigar and gives it to the monkey. "Set fire to my hair, clothes or any part of my anatomy or belongings and you'll be sorry you were ever born "he grumbles, then offers the monkey a light.
 

Lord_Raven88

Villager
DrZombie said:
Gruaams takes out a new cigar and gives it to the monkey. "Set fire to my hair, clothes or any part of my anatomy or belongings and you'll be sorry you were ever born "he grumbles, then offers the monkey a light.
Wrinkling his nose at the pungent cigar, the capuchin holds the cigar out for Gruaams to light it. And stares at the slowly burning cigar as if mesmerised all the while cackling to himself.
 

Lazlow

Villager
Sunderkeg, walking by with a tray of drinks for another table, glances at the monkey in passing - then stops and does a double-take as the little primate sits cackling at the lit cigar.

"Lookit th' moonkey... Now that ain't right."

He shakes his head and spies the ornate, mysterious-looking scroll in K's hands. "Say, tha's a right fancy piece o' parchment ye got," he says. "Bet that's important."


=====

OOC: Anyone seen Logic's Fate?
 

DrZombie

Villager
Lord_Raven88 said:
Wrinkling his nose at the pungent cigar, the capuchin holds the cigar out for Gruaams to light it. And stares at the slowly burning cigar as if mesmerised all the while cackling to himself.
"Look, you do it like this " Gruaamsh says, showing the monkey how to keep it lit, how to blow smoke rings and how to tap away the ashes.
 

Lazlow

Villager
Strangely, and without warning, K and her mysterious cohort Richard disappear in a puff of familiar-looking (and -smelling) smoke. And when I say K and her mysterious cohort, I mean just them: All of their belongings seem to have been left behind, including Richard's bastard sword, helmet, heavy cloak, and armor, as well as K's leather outfit (what little there was of it, anyway), and, most notably, the scroll she received from Al the Wizard.

A couple of nearby patrons look up at the big *POOF* and puff of smoke, but go back to their drinks and/or food with a shrug once they see you guys sitting around the table.
 

Wystan

Villager
I go and start to fold the belongings and make them all nice and neat (Searching them as I do so for gold and the like). I also periodically shake my fist at the heavens and exclaim....
"Damn you Magician I swear you have not seen the last of us. I curse you on the name of AAAAAAAAHHHH, God of heights and falling that I will cause you to have a sudden stop at the bottom.
 

Lord_Raven88

Villager
The monkey wrinkles his nose in disgust at the prospect of sticking the foul smelling cigar into his mouth.

As K and Richard disappear the capuchin looks around in confusion, seeing all of their gear on the floor he give a squeal of delight and joins the elf in rummaging thru their equipment.

Spying the ornate scrollcase he grabs it up then resumes his place of the Half Orc's shoulder, and offers it to the fierce warrior.
 

Lazlow

Villager
The elf and the monkey rummage through their freshly-poofed companions' belongings and find the following seemingly randomly-generated (but not quite) list of equipment:

- 1 black leather bustier with nickel-plated studs
- 1 pair black leather hotpants with nickel-plated studs
- 1 pair black leather bracers with brass studs
- 1 pair black leather high-heeled boots
- 1 Official Team Uniform (courtesy Ranti Akandi)
- 1 black cloak with hood
- 3 vials of potion-like stuffs
- 1 ebony scroll case, the endcaps with elaborate mother-of-pearl inlays of the letter "K"
- 1 small but rather hefty dark purple velvet bag, feels like it's full of... Marbles?
- 1 other small but also somewhat hefty dark maroon velvet bag, which jingles nicely
- 1 spell component pouch
- 1 spell book
- 1 backpack

- 1 exceptional-looking long bow
- 1 exceptional-looking heavy steel shield
- 1 even more exceptional-looking bastard sword, with black leather scabbard and belt
- 1 chain shirt, just as exceptional-looking as the sword
- 1 only slightly battered full-face helm
- 1 pair heavy dark wool breeches
- 1 pair sturdy black boots
- 1 pair sturdy leather gloves
- 1 long, heavy black cloak

The conspicuous lack of underwear in either pile is not lost on anyone.

Looking further in the bags, packs, pouches, and cases, you find 28 black gems, 40 pp, 16 gp, three scrolls, a wand, 2 week's worth of trail rations, and K's Official Deputy pack (courtesy Sheriff Berserker Bill). The backpack was curiously full of clothing for both small, medium, and a few quadripedal creatures.

Gruammsh peers at the scroll the monkey is offering and notices two things: First, it seems to be quite thick, indicating it's a rather long piece of parchment; and secondly, the wax with which the roll is sealed shut looks much more hard and shiny than any ordinary wax.

=======

OOC: See the OOC thread for an important announcement!
 

Wystan

Villager
OOC - Ranti piles the following items:
- 1 black leather bustier with nickel-plated studs
- 1 pair black leather hotpants with nickel-plated studs
- 1 pair black leather bracers with brass studs
- 1 pair black leather high-heeled boots
- 1 Official Team Uniform (courtesy Ranti Akandi)
- 1 black cloak with hood
- 1 only slightly battered full-face helm
- 1 pair heavy dark wool breeches
- 1 pair sturdy black boots
- 1 pair sturdy leather gloves
- 1 long, heavy black cloak

Then I place the following on the table nearest me:
- 1 exceptional-looking long bow
- 1 exceptional-looking heavy steel shield
- 1 even more exceptional-looking bastard sword, with black leather scabbard and belt
- 1 chain shirt, just as exceptional-looking as the sword
- 1 only slightly battered full-face helm
- 3 vials of potion-like stuffs
- 1 ebony scroll case, the endcaps with elaborate mother-of-pearl inlays of the letter "K"
- 1 small but rather hefty dark purple velvet bag, feels like it's full of... Marbles?
- 1 other small but also somewhat hefty dark maroon velvet bag, which jingles nicely
- 1 spell component pouch
- 1 spell book
- 1 backpack

The following I place in the backpack after I empty it out:
28 black gems, 40 pp, 16 gp, three scrolls, a wand, 2 week's worth of trail rations, and K's Official Deputy pack
"Well, as it appears that we are short two more of our illustrious crew, and the queen of my own Private Pirate Nation...We will need to retain their items as long as possible and split the valuables for better use for now.
 

DrZombie

Villager
Gruaams takes the offerred scroll and looks at the seal, then tries to remove it and open the scroll. Absentmindedly he takes the cigar back from the monkey and sticks it in the other corner of his mouth, sending up a vile noxious cloud in stereo.
 

Lazlow

Villager
Even more strangely, and with even less warning, K and her mysterious cohort Richard re-appear in yet another puff of familiar-looking (and -smelling) smoke. And when I say K and her mysterious cohort, I mean just them: They stand there, in the middle of the tavern, stark naked. Richard even more so, seeing as how, you know, he doesn't even have any skin or organs or the like.

As if from the heavens, a disembodied yet quite familiar voice says, "My bad, my bad..."

Meanwhile, Gruammsh, now puffing on a pair of foul-smelling cigars, examines the seal on the scroll. It's hard, black, shiny, and has some elaborate lettering inscribed on it that says:

SPEAK
JERKWAD
TO
OPEN
 

Wystan

Villager
Ranti runs over and throws his cloak over K. He then grabs the pile of clothes that woudl be hers and Richards and walks them to the back room, (menacing all who might think to stop him).
"My once and future Pirate Queen, now we can finish this adventure so that at a future time we may oppress multitudes of peoples and run a country where even the bony-people will be allowed to walk around without full plate armor."
 

LogicsFate

Villager
Yeah I'd say your bad! The nerve! K yells into the air and then takes a moment to look around...

*Shriek!*"Collapse""Nooo!" She cries out as the bones of her faithfull compainon fall to the ground in a heap. You Killed him, The bastards killed him. She falls to her knees and covers her eyes and makes sobby noises. She peeks from behind her hands for a sec, only to go back to the sobby noises.
 

LogicsFate

Villager
Wystan said:
Ranti runs over and throws his cloak over K. He then grabs the pile of clothes that woudl be hers and Richards and walks them to the back room, (menacing all who might think to stop him).
"My once and future Pirate Queen, now we can finish this adventure so that at a future time we may oppress multitudes of peoples and run a country where even the bony-people will be allowed to walk around without full plate armor."
As the cloak drapes around her, K realizes for the first time she's stark naked... and can take deep breaths without the constraining fashions she is famous for. She takes a moment to do so.
She grabs Richard whose bones remain connected remarkable well. "You really mean that?" One might imagine her eyes growing watery, but one would do well to keep such informations to themselves. As one may find she can cast spell of undeniable strength. Does one got it? Good.
 

Wystan

Villager
Ranti puts a gentle arm around K and smiles at her.
"Of course I mean it. It has all the makings of a great empire. You can be the queen, Richard can he the head Knight, and I can assist where needed."

Ranti hands K the pile of clothes and smiles again
 

Gray Shade

Villager
Berserker Bill bursts to life suddenly. He gives a strangled scream of agony and then wipes at his tearing eyes. "Richard, NOOOO! Our wisest companion! Disintegrated! The very flesh rendered from hi--GGAAAAK!" His body goes stiff and his tongue juts out further than anyone present would have thought a human tongue able to jut.

"Gopher's in the coffin! Read the note! Blllllaaaaaa--" he says cryptically, then returns to his inactive state, drooling contentedly.
 

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