The Continuing Tales From The Old Bald One-Eyed Salty Red Dog Tavern!

[Craw Hammerfist]

"Well? What brengs ye roond here noo?"

Golurn wastes no time with pleasantries: "Me feet bringed me here, ye blind grunt! Did ye think I flew in on pixie wings? Bah! Yer losing what shred o' sense ye ever had. Ale! O' course I be here fer ale. This still be a tavern, no? It ain't the Old Bald One-Eyed Salty Red Dog Teahouse or some such, is it? And quit warnin' me marks! If'n they nae have the sense to watch their purses without ye remindin 'em, they nae deserve any coins in those purses. All yer doin is gettin 'em all riled up. Now when somethin goes missin (and don't it always) they'll be after askin me questions that I just have to answer wit me knives. That's just no good fer anybody. So, shut yer trap and fetch me an ale."

 

[Wystan]

(OOC Craw can you choose a slightly different color? On stealth that is unreadable unless I highlight it all.)
I seem to wake up as if in a daze
"...now where was I, Oh these curtains need to be exchanged, a nice blue gingham or a green taffeta...wait I feel like I've done this before. Hmmm, ah oh yes. We were brought here by the evil machinations of a gnome that impunes the integrity of Gar'goyle, great lord of statues and stonework. He deigned to have us capture a dangerous and provocative basalisk and then proceeded to insult us, bespell us...at which point I point to Mr. Bill ...and then transport us here without an ounce of the assistance that we had been promised. Now I need to make an Outfit for the helper monkey here and we seem to be short on travelling companions."

I walk over to the bar
"My good cute dwarven lass, I require a glass of your finest water and a plate of your finest lettuce. This will all be put on Sherriff Bill's tab and will be paid upon the completion of the quest we are on, and after K and I found our own Pirate community and become the scourge of the high seas.

Thank you.

 

[Lord_Raven88]

Climbing down from his perch on the roof the capuchin monkey climbs on board his drooling mount and holds on tightly as Bill is lead inside the tavern and is seated at the parties usual table.

Looking around the tavern in wide-eyed curiosity the monkey's gaze quickly flicks around the room taking in the bald dog sleeping on the bar, the man suspended in the globe of magic and the foul-mouth dwarven rogue.

"oooh ooh ah" apparently voicing his opinion of the strange goings-on in this unusual tavern.

 

[DrZombie]

"My fair lady, I'll have a double brandy, and a cup of water and a cleaning rag for our monkey friend here" Gruaamsh says, casting a stern glare at the monkey and handing over his reeking helmet.

 

[Lord_Raven88]

"My fair lady, I'll have a double brandy, and a cup of water and a cleaning rag for our monkey friend here" Gruaamsh says, casting a stern glare at the monkey and handing over his reeking helmet.

The monkey cringes slightly at the stern look from the fearsome Half-Orc as he places his soiled helm in front of him.

Struggling mightily the monkey manages to place the helm on his diminutive head. The capuchin seems to all but disappear, all that can be seen is his tiny feet sticking out beneath.

Resonating from inside the demon visaged helm comes the capuchin's laboured breathing. "haww pawww, haaww paww" as the dwarven lass returns with the cup of water and cleaning rag, the capuchin shrieks excitedly.

Turning the helmet upside down the tiny monkey pours the cup of water inside the helm. Taking off his embroided red vest and hat, the capuchin gingerly climbs into his make shift bath and begins to clean himself contentedly.

Turning to look at the scowling half orc warrior, the capuchin gives his best I'm a dumb cute animal look and carries on cleaning himself.

 

[Craw Hammerfist]

Golurn downs another ale and looks about. Seeing a monkey bathing in a demon helmet, he jumps off his barstool and looks at his mug in a stunned fashion for a moment. Slowly, an appreciative grin spreads across his face. "Mushroom ale! I heared o' that once. All kinds o' crazy visions. Muirna! I be needed three more o' these! Be damned, Sunderkeg, I never figured ye fer the apootho.. apossumcarry... acothemary.. damnit...herb-peddlin' type. But I approve."

 

[Wystan]

My ears peeking up a bit at the mention of mushroom ale...
"Mushroom ale, I have not heard that in many moons. I though that was outlawed in at least 3 out of every 5 hamlets around these parts. Most humans are way too weak willed to resist the splurging and dementia that is caused by the massive imbibance of Mushroom ale."

I turn and look at Golurn...
"My good ma...dwarf, What in the nine hells of the demon lord of Numerology Mat'O'Matics are you drinking that for. There has to be a better drink, mayhaps not a cheaper one, but definately a better one. I mean they serve slightly passable elven wine here, and I even hear they make a wicked almond walnut berry tippler with a sweet cream chaser."
I turn to the bar
" My beautiful for a dwarf dwarven lass, may I please request that you serve this gentledwarf here a 'Triple wham cream and ogre snot' on the rocks, the litereral rocks mind you as they absorb some of the acid and cause the glass to not be destroyed as quickly. Also please remember to add it to Sherriff Bills tab. Thank you."

I turn back towards Golurn

"This should curl your nose hairs."

 

[Craw Hammerfist]

"This should curl your nose hairs."

"Bah, 'tis regular ale after all. I don't know why I would be surprised to see a monkey bathe in a helmet around here. There do be a bald mutt on the bar and a frozen mage in the corner, after all. Not that I won't accept the drink, mind ye. Here's ta hopin' it don't curl me nose hairs, though. Makes em a tad sight harder to unbraid."

 

[Lazlow]

Muirna brings the requested drinks to the table, all the while carrying on a not-so-hushed conversation about some juicy local gossip with another woman who follows her around. Seemingly unfazed by the drooling, mindless Sheriff, she places an ale in front of him as well, and as she glances at the monkey bathing in Gruammsh's helmet, she pauses for a moment and says, "Ah yes, the soup of the day is squirrel bisque. Not one of Olaf's best, if you ask me, but palatable." She then returns to the bar with the gossipy lady in tow, deep in conversation.

============

OOC: K suddenly remembers that she's holding a scroll that Al the Wizard gave them...

 

[DrZombie]

"Well, unless monkey boy there starts to cleanMY HELMET , it'll be monkey stewed in it's own juice for me, I reckon" Gruaams says, smiling evilly 'round his cigar.