The DM Burnout and How to Get Past That: Advice?

[molepunch]

Hi all,

A little background: as far as I've remembered, in all my gaming groups since high school I tend to be the default DM. I'm passionate about the game, but I wouldn't call myself someone who loves to DM. I sometimes equate the position as being the stage manager of a production, the goalkeeper in football--you have to really love the position/role to do it again and again. But since I hate playing "RP-lite" games either, I usually would end up DMing.

Lately, I've been getting fed up with my friends and my players. After a few sessions of RP-less and RP-glossover scenes, I expressed my disappointment in the campaign and told them that I'm not interested to keep DMing a boardgame. Was I in the wrong? Am I just burning out? I'm not sure why I was able to put up with such sessions before.


Is it me and my style? I was told I was asking too much, and not everyone is able to RP so I should really not have such a requirement for my games. But I refuse to DM a "video game" where players joke about killing NPCs and harmless villagers, and sometimes even following through. It really upsets me that I keep spending hours and hours to craft a story and adventure for them when it seems completely unnecessary as they seem to only regard me as battle AI sometimes.


Can anyone help? Perhaps I just plain suck and my games are stupid.


Can a DM of a successful group give me some insight or advice? I have one session more with this group before I want to properly consider abandoning ship.


Thanks in advance for any criticisms or feedback.

 

[Rechan]

Sounds like the issue is not that you're tired of DMing but that what you want and what your group wants has grown apart. You want RP and you want a certain behavior from your players and they're not giving it.

You're a part of the group and you deserve to have fun too, and to enjoy what you're doing. And when you aren't, that's a problem. And when the reason you're not enjoying it is because your group is playing a way you do not like, it's not your fault.

You can either make your group play the way you like (unlikely to work), suck it up and learn to like what your group is doing (unlikely to work), or find another group that fits your tastes. And before you say "there aren't any in the area", that's what the internet is for - many of us (myself included) have been playing D&D only online for years.

 

[S'mon]

Sounds like the issue is not that you're tired of DMing but that what you want and what your group wants has grown apart. You want RP and you want a certain behavior from your players and they're not giving it.

I agree. You don't sound burnt out on the game; you are burnt out on your players. You need different players. If you *like* your current players, maybe later you can play something different with them - either board games, war games, or explicitly beer & pretzels, 'fireball the tavern' evil type D&D.

 

[amerigoV]

Before you listen to everyone and dump your players, you might consider running either a different genre or game system. If you are playing 3e/4e/Pathfinder, the system rewards the bad play you have grown tired of. Yes, you can get XP for roleplaying your way past things, but the game has always had a strong "kill critters and take their stuff" mentality that is hard to shake. Plus you get the XP for killing things.

For example, if you play a bit of Deadlands (Savage Worlds) - players might be shaken out of their old habits because their expectations of setting is different (Deadlands is the 1870s old west, with a "weird" twist). There is no alignment to speak of and the law only cares about keeping the peace, not your moral disposition. There is not the inherent need to loot everything your kill (the guy probably has a peacemaker much like your own).

Now if you have already tried that or the group is dead set on not changing, different story.

 

[ValhallaGH]

I'll reinforce amerigoV's suggestion:
Change things up. Change systems, settings, and / or genres drastically. Try something different and see if that fixes some (or all) of your issues.

Every time I've gotten burned out it was from doing a lot of repetitive gaming, all of which required increasingly large amounts of preparation for minor elements of the game: picayune things like minor combat encounters, random treasure, environmental descriptions, etc. I was spending more time on those elements and therefore had less time to spend on the good stuff: interesting stories and plots, NPC motivations, tying things back into the PC's backstories, etc.
I recovered very slowly by gaming abstinence - by not playing I eventually got better. I recovered faster by becoming a player in a couple of fun games others ran. I recovered much faster by running something else, and getting a very different kind of RP for my Game Master Self to feast upon.


Best of luck.

 

[gamerprinter]

Our solution to DM burn-out which works great for our gaming group, but might not work for yours is a very simple solution. Out of 6 people in our gaming group, 3 run the game as DM, switching roughly every 1 - 3 months. Once burn out sets in, we switch DMs. Sometimes we do this within the same campaign, bearing in mind that the participants should be very well familiar with the plot and direction of the last DM, before we switch.

We've played pretty consistently every weekend (almost) since 1987.

 

[Stumblewyk]

But I refuse to DM a "video game" where players joke about killing NPCs and harmless villagers, and sometimes even following through. It really upsets me that I keep spending hours and hours to craft a story and adventure for them when it seems completely unnecessary as they seem to only regard me as battle AI sometimes.

I'm going to give you some very different advice from what I've read above. Not to say that what other people have suggested is wrong, or won't ultimately end being what you have to do to keep your gaming sanity, but I want you try this first - punish your players bad behavior.

You don't want them killing NPC's? Then have the law of the land exact justice. The local lord takes them prisoner, by force. Unfair trials, punishments, and yes, even executions are the order of the day.

You don't want them running rampant across the countryside slaughtering innocent villagers? Have an order of paladins and clerics, dedicated to the protection of innocents, descend on the PCs like the wave of holy terror that they are.

Show your players that their character's bad behavior has very bad consequences for them. When they ask why this happening, you make it very clear: no action occurs in a vacuum, and justice will be served.

If this doesn't get them to act like the heroes you want them to be, then you need to look at some other options, namely: a different genre of game, new players, or just telling one of them to run the damn game for a little while, while you get to play the role of annoying player.

 

[Stormonu]

I spend 90% or more of my time behind the screen as a DM; that's simply where I prefer to be.

However, I have spent that other bit of time on the player side. It can be very enlightening as what you want as a player is often very different of what the DM epects of his players.

I'd suggest taking some time to be on the player side. If that doesn't help rectify the issue, try running a different system and see if that helps. In either case, new perspectives - or just a little time away from the stess of DMIng can do a lot of good.

 

[MatthewJHanson]

I'm going to add to the chorus or suggesting that you try a different system. Some systems have systems that work roleplaying into the mechanics better. For example Mutants and Masterminds includes a complication/hero point system that rewards PCs when they make in character decisions even if it is not tactically the "best" thing to do.

I haven't gotten a chance to play FATE yet, but I've read some pretty great things about that.

 

[Rechan]

Going about enforcing play in-game and not addressing the root of the problem - talking to the players - is just going to cause problems all around. Because the response will be the players refusing authority and fighting back - and then several rounds of escalation between party and DM - and eventually the DM either crushes the PCs (and upsets the players), or the DM gets upset and throws his hands up.

The problem is the players. Addressing the symptom (their in-game actions) will only add anger and frustration to the situation.