The Fine Art of Quitting a Bad Game

[Odhanan]

So, I want to quit. Here's the thing, If I just up and quit, I know for a fact that I won't be able to find another group for some time... perhaps too long.(I'm an addict, it's true.) I want to break ties with just the bad players, and make better friends with the good ones. Any suggestions for a good way to get through to the good players?

Select them among people you appreciate outside the hobby, then introduce them to the game.

Run the game. Be the DM.

 

[doghead]

Just saying you enjoy everyone's company, but this just is not your style of game should not burn any bridges. Then you could independently contact the players you want to play with and see if they have interest in cranking up another campaign. Make sure it's on another night. If things go well in your campaign they might drop the older campaign as well.

Good luck!

Definately. Be up front, and don't burn bridges. While the DM sounds like a bit of an ass ("if you don't like it, leave."), its not worth generating bad blood over.

thotd

 

[Whimsical]

I quit a game that was comprised of longtime gaming friends. A few days after the "backbreaking straw" game session, I e-mailed the DM: "Thank you for having me in your game, but I'm going to drop out of it now." I decided to not elaborate because when I brought up my concerns in the past, he just entered a debate mode instead of seriously considering what I was saying. In addition, he's convinced that his players love his game, and I'm the exception. I also believe he has a negative reinforcer: if the players are complaining and frustrated, then I'm doing my job right as a DM. So I decided to not waste both of our times with explanations. I figured if he wants to know, he'll ask. He hasn't so far. I still game with him as a player in another game, and he has recently joined my new game as a player.

 

[Hussar]

Good advice here.

The up front, "Sorry to do this, but, this just isn't my bag." is a reasonable response.

 

[Calico_Jack73]

Life is too short to game with a bad group.

Unfortunately unless you knew the good players before they joined I doubt you'll be able to pry them away unless they too are dissatisfied with the game. You need to talk with them one-on-one to get a feel for their opinion of the game and the DM's quirks. If you feel that they are willing to jump ship and start a new group with you then pop the question. If not, don't let them in on what you are planning to do otherwise you may find them going back to the group and poisoning your efforts to get other players.

The main thing to remember is that gaming groups are like dating, there are always other fish in the sea. I had my first game last night after a 6 month break when I left a group not because they were bad but because I was trying to get something different out of the game than they were. They were at heart tactical wargamers which is fine but I was trying to get role-playing and NPC interaction out of it. The past 6 months I've sated my gaming need with Neverwinter Nights on my PC and spent time with my family. It isn't a bad thing to put gaming aside once in a while to enjoy life. You can always come back to gaming.

 

[BaldHero]

I recently had to ask a player to leave my group because he was just not having any fun, and his lack of enjoyment was bringing everyone else down too.
I managed to do so as politely as possible with the following letter via email. It was discreet, mature and clear. Maybe with some changes you could make use of it.:

I have decided after much consideration, that it would be best if you were to
discontinue playing in my Saturday night game group.

In the past i have been involved in many game groups, and have
experienced the way that small incompatibilites can, if permitted,
blossom into irritations, and eventually into outright direspect,
perhaps even dislike and resentment.

I am resolved to not allowing this to happen. My game group, and the
relationships i have derived from it are invaluable to me. As i am
sure they are to you.

With that in mind i must honestly say that there are small things
which, when taken individually are trivial. My decision is driven by the
awareness that these small things have accumulated over time, and have
become a single issue regarding the group as a whole.

I suspect this may offend you, but it is my sincere hope that this is
not the case. I value your friendship.

I only ask that you do not press me for details, instead having some
small faith that i ask this not out of petty spite or arrogance, but
rather out of a desire to avoid the sort of messy seperations that
lead to lost friendships and ugly game break ups we have both seen in the
past.

I am sure that you will be able to find a group much more to your
liking very soon.
BaldHero

I was surprised at how positive the repsonse to this was. Good luck either way.

 

[prosfilaes]

I only ask that you do not press me for details,

That tone would annoy me. I don't like it when people start placating me before I get annoyed, and I like to know what happened, so I can improve next time. That type of statement in particular would get me wondering what on Earth was going on and envisioning some very bad stuff. YMMV.

 

[domino]

Agreed. Also, it would make me think that the real reason I'm not wanted isn't actually a very good one, and being asked not to inquire is because they don't want to have to own up to it.

 

[Drowbane]

assuming you're a half-way decent DM yourself...

Grab his good players and start your own game. Hell, invite all of them if you think you're up to re-teaching these fools how to play the game.

 

[Chimera]

Hell, invite all of them if you think you're up to re-teaching these fools how to play the game.

Just don't start with this attitude.

Start by saying "I'm hoping to run a different style of game. Would you be up for X?"